Adhavan (24): The Formation of an Objective

Chapter 23: The Formation of an Objective

Question not other's flaws, but yours.

Translation

Roaring tiger, elephant, leogryph, lion such

With a flower stalk, we will make them serve us;

We can even make great powerful gods

Play with us. Oh snake! Dance to it!

—Siddhar Pampatti Song (034)

Though the first day of the waning moon looks similar to the full moon, can it be considered as the full moon? Obviously it isn’t so, but both are expressions of the same moon, in truth, every day of its phase, every night, irrespective of it being a gibbous or a crescent, it appears with its unique face, an identifiable, recognizable, measurable one, that can be seen very well with the naked eyes, so can we rightfully say that moon changes its shape every day? Don’t we see it waning? Don’t we see it waxing? Then, as per the logic, if only what we see is true, as per the meticulous observation, the moon wanes and waxes periodically, isn’t it so? Now, can we become the universal masters and proclaim with arrogance, make an incorrect statement, “Based on facts, provided by normal human beings with normal sight, the moon transforms each and every day, every moment, periodically.” Can we say so? Is it true? Just because we make a stupid statement will the moon transform to comply with our statement? Can we change nature with our statements? Are our words so powerful to change nature? Will it? Or is it our perception that changes each day? Is it because I see the moon waning, so it wanes? Is it not equivalent to saying, 'I think I am dying, so I die'? Are these reasons not stupid enough to mislead us from the truth? Then, in ascertaining truth, if we negate sight and perception, as both can delude us from the truth, what do we have? How do we know what is true? Of course, there is truth, in what we see, as well as in our perceptions, but is it the grand one? Is it the solemn one? Is it the absolute one? Well, for convenience sake, irresponsibly, in order to believe only what we see, if we assume that moon transforms its shape each and every day, then our assumptions are very much wrong, indeed a blasphemy, so can we say that there is no truth in what we see, against a widely accepted phenomena that only what can be seen is true, if we do so, then again, its fallacious, then what is truth? In certain cases, only what we see is true, in some other cases, it is not so, then, how do we reach a consensus amidst such varying notions? This is something similar to the case, 'the earth is flat'. How did the first man ever say, 'the earth is not flat'? If that first man, would have vehemently believed or got emotionally mixed up with the incorrect statement, 'the earth is flat', as the solemn truth, if he would have not questioned its validity, would he have discovered the sublime truth that exists today? If no one has questioned the beliefs that existed in the past, will we not still be believing that 'the earth is flat', 'the sun rises in the east', 'the moon wanes and waxes periodically', and so on? What courage they had, to question the socially accepted norms? What passion they had, to counter argue the globally accepted truths that indeed were not truths unless they were discovered so in later stages? So if you are sincere and passionately driven, the best way to find out the truth is, to question everything that you believed in, everything you held on to, everything that you think is right, everything; from life to death, heaven to hell, god to no god, sex to sanctity, everything, every fine thing, even question the need for questioning, break every single thought fragment hanging onto yourself, onto your beliefs, be it god or no god, question it, see it for yourself, nothing else will satiate your quest, not my words, not anyone’s word, but the truth alone, the absolute truth, not the fragmented ones, not the perceptions, not the senses, not the words in your scriptures, not your father’s word, not your mother’s belief, not your leader’s words, not your hero’s deeds, not even your own ideas, question everything, every basic thing, question them all, question, keep questioning, keep scrutinizing, not others, but yourself, not things, but your mind, not other's flaws, but yours. Question. Question oneself to know thyself.

Whatever phase the moon is in, it has always been beautiful and inviting, is there a man out there who have never admired the moon? Such was a pleasant night their horses were racing, like wild, untamed beast on hunt, they sped for four hours together towards west with intermittent breaks, soon they reached a humble dwelling, surrounded by a pond, and a beautiful farm, as they entered the long straight pavement, their horses started trotting, and a very old man came out with a burning torch, trying to figure out, who the uncultured visitor is, who dared to disturb them at such an odd time, but the moment the old man realized it was Poncetuceni who was approaching them, he immediately fell to his knees, bowed to him, and spoke facing the ground:

“Sir, you should have sent for me, you can’t risk your life by coming here all alone?”

Poncetuceni immediately alighted his horse, ran to him straight, lifted him up by the shoulders and whispered smilingly:

“Get up. Let not your reverences expose us. Treat us the way you will treat your sons. Please. I beg you, it will raise suspicion, it will even disclose our identities, please.”

By the time, few more heads have come out of the hut, the old man was shivering, and while trying to calm down his breath, he exclaimed in whispers:

“Ah! Sir, how will I treat you in my humble dwellings? Where will you sleep? What will you eat?”

Poncetuceni put his arm around the shivering old man’s shoulders, guided him towards the hut, rubbing his shoulders, easing his anxieties, he said:

“We don’t need food, you know well why I have come here? So out of love, I order all of you, to go inside the hut and sleep peacefully, until the first strokes of the sun. Me and my man will take turns guarding your house today, if it so happens, that one of us need a bit of sleep, we will very much sleep on the lap of mother nature, trust me, we are men of woods, there isn’t any need to make a big fuss about it. Please. The respect you show us might even get us killed, so please take my order, go in now, we will see in the morning.”

As they closed in, other curious heads recognized him and hid themselves behind the doors, they were all so excited and nervous by his presence, but to all their dismay, Poncetuceni shoved the old man inside the hut and closed the door. Only then, he realized that Killivalavan was standing in the pavement, holding on to both their horses, not knowing whether to follow him or to wait for him. He signalled him to bring the horses, then they together, looked for a good resting area, where they can tie the horses, feed them and water them, as they were going through it, Poncetuceni asked him:

“Will you mind sleeping on the hard grounds?”

Killivalavan said:

“No, I don’t, even if you want us to be awake the whole night, I will be glad to do so.”

Once they were done with attending to their horses, they came back with their saddles and their luggage, looking out for a place to keep their things safe, though the hut had a large veranda, over which 4 people could easily stretch their bodies, it was packed tight with fishing nets, stacks of hay, sacks of grains, a few pickaxes, a plough, something stuffed into small wooden boxes and many more that were not clearly visible in the moonlight, as well as from the dull light given off by the dull lamp, placed on the triangular carving made on the wall, next to the door. Tired, looking out for a spot to keep their things over, they finally placed it right on the pavement, right before the hut, under the shades of the dark clouds and dropped themselves dead on the hard grounds, slowly, they stretched their legs, eased their muscles, massaged their sore backs, rested flat on the hard ground with their saddles as a headrest, with their things and weapons being securely placed by their sides. Owing to the tiredness born out of the long journeys, sleep took over them the moment they closed their eyes and they drifted into a long, peaceful, sound sleep, without any worries of the future nor the present.

It was hours before sunrise, still the setting moon was clearly visible in the sky, and it was dark, out of that darkness, like an emerging moon, a very beautiful young lady, as fair as the snow and as soft as the morning dew, with a flawless skin, slender shoulders, slim waist and smooth wavy hip, walked softly, towards the sleeping Poncetuceni and Killivalavan, with a hand woven broom, made of coconut leaves and a copper pail full of water. Her name is Mathuranjanadevi, being the last and the seventh daughter of the family, it was her responsibility to water and dust the front yard, decorate it with beautiful patterns made of rice powder, known as kolam, but she was so irritated to see 2 hoodlums lying in front of her house, the last thing she wanted to see in the early morning hours, are those dirty, lazy, sleeping men. Unable to contain her frustrations anymore, she tapped Poncetuceni thrice with the wet broom and kicked Killivalavan hard over his shoulder, they both sprung upon their feet immediately and Killivalavan almost drew his Surul Pattai, but dropped it the same moment, on seeing the eternal beauty sculptured on the flawless beautiful face of the young lady standing right before him, she looked like a living goddess, a woman of exquisite beauty, a walking beautification, a mirrored form of the moon, her charm literally squeezed his heart, her dove shaped eyes pulled him magically, her sharp, delicate features, especially the fine jaw lines struck him hard like a lightning, he felt blank, immobilized like a prey, his bones literally melted in her presence, on the other hand, on seeing her so close, Poncetuceni was moved to tears, it was a very emotional, heart palpitating moment, tears of joy welled out of his eyes uncontrollably, he almost collapsed, his heart pounded thousand times faster, even his knees started shaking, he wanted to fondle her hair and kiss her forehead, just if a single woman can make these two great men shiver and quiver right before her, I wonder if there are anything women can’t accomplish in this world? On the contrary, she was neither moved by Killivalavan’s threatening Surul Pattai nor by Poncetuceni’s fearful stance, rather she shouted at them:

“Don’t you have any sense? How dare you both sleep in our front yard, right atop the pavement? Get up and leave you idiots, rush, I hate men who sleep like dumb-ass.”

She waved her broom stick at them and continued:

“If you both aren’t leaving now, I myself will whack your brains out, so pack your things and run for your life, now!”

In the fury, her eyes slowly rested on Poncetuceni, she continued to gaze at him piercingly, she felt an unexplainable liking for him, an intrinsic binding that she never felt with anyone, she felt sweet spasms in her heart, unable to contain her curiosity, hiding well her feeling, she asked him authoritatively:

“Have I seen you before? Do I know you?”

Poncetuceni was overwhelmed by emotions, he wiped his eyes, clasped both his palms and bowed to her with a sense of deep gratification. She unable to understand his odd behavior, looked at the man standing behind him, that rogue was openly staring at her, heartily enjoying her beauty, she felt her muscles twitch at the way he was looking at her, irritated and confused by the stare of the younger one and by the stupidity of the older man, she dropped her broomstick and almost ran into the hut.

To her surprise, there inside the hut, the old man, rather than chasing away the strangers, started shouting at her, soon afterwards, he came running to Poncetuceni, before he could say anything, Poncetuceni walked to him, wrapped him by the shoulders and whispered in his ears so softly that even Killivalavan can’t overhear it even if he wanted to hear them:

“Finally, I am seeing her after 5 long years, she has grown up into such a brave, beautiful women and the best part is, she doesn’t even recognize me and it is far better that way, whatever it might be, right now, I am happy, very happy, I feel like I am in the heavens.”

The old man replied:

“She doesn’t know it yet, when you left her to us, she was barely 2 years old, though you have seen her few at times after that, the last one was a very long gap, too long, hope you come often, she then at least will know you as my guest.”

Poncetuceni sighed and said:

“Yeah, you are right, but it was only for her safety that I kept myself away from her, it’s better and safer that way, for her to grow up like this. Every time I pass this region, my heart would ache to see her, but then, I would resist showing up, but this time it was too hard, so I checked in, by god’s grace, I was lucky enough to see her so close that too as the first thing in the morning, . Can you believe it, I just woke up and looked right into her beautiful face? What a blessed day god has given to me?”

The old mad sympathized:

“What a pity for a father to come and see his daughter in the guise of an unwelcome guest?”

As they were going towards the hut, Poncetuceni was thinking about the rare few glorious moments he had with her, struck by the truth of her nature, he laughed heartily and said:

“We almost had a hand to hand combat with her today, she has grown up into such a bold one!”

The old man replied:

“Lucky for you, she has left you unharmed, she must have had some good feelings about you, else she would have made you bleed. I personally made sure that she grows up to a brave one, but she has become too courageous, very bold, sometimes she is literally uncontrollable and unheeding, no one could stand her way, she has never feared anyone, there were also notable instances, where she has fought against a pack of wolves on her own, while guarding our poultry, but then, my fear is, which man will talk such a high-spirited, brave woman? You know, the words keep spreading around. Who will marry such a fearless one? Where will we go and find a good pair for her? She is already eighteen years old and we are late by years.”

The joy on Poncetuceni’s face subsided, he started brooding over the words, said by the old man, as an answer to it, his mind surfaced the assurance given by Siddhar Macham, it echoed in him, it soothed him, that was an inexplicable moment, which had a touch of both joy and misery to it, with that mixed feeling he entered the hut, Killivalavan followed them till the doorstep, but then, he preferred to wait outside, nearby the veranda.

The hut was simple, well-lit and warm, inhabited by compassionate and joyous hearts. Poncetuceni and the old man sat on the ground and conversed freely with the inhabitants, they all felt shy and hesitated to appear before him, but with due respect, one after another, they exchanged greetings, responded to his intriguing questions, wishes and appreciations, as only to fail his expectation, Mathuranjanadevi was not seen anywhere in the crowd, smilingly, he asked the old man:

“Where is that naughty girl who woke me up with a hard lash of the wet broom?”

He replied with a bit of frustration:

“Ah. Don’t ask me about that little brat, she is too mischievous for her age and all these people coddle her so much and treat her like a princess, she is spoiled to the core, every day, as she grows older, I expect her to calm down and act matured, conversely, she has become so rebellious and disobedient, these days, she oddly respects anyone, not even me. Today, I just pointed out her mistake and told her that she should not behave with strangers in an uncourteous manner that too without actually knowing who they are, and what they have come for, it must have really offended her, crying, she ran away into the wilderness, she still behaves like a kid, but in fact she is a grown up lady and must know well how to behave in such common, day-to-day situations.”

Before Poncetuceni could say a few words of consolation, almost everyone out there, started talking out for her, they altogether defied all of the old man’s grievances, one after another, they talked for her, defended her, in small means and ways they could:

“She is very young, such a beauty, she is just a kid, how could that old man expect us to be hard on her.”

“It’s that she is just being defensive, but her heart is so pure, she has never harmed anyone.”

“She is such a sweetheart, she could never be wrong, you people must have scared the hell out of her.”

“She is the most diligent and the most compassionate one, she could have not wronged.”

“Our old man always has a knack in finding a mistake with her, though she does everything so perfectly, it is just that they don’t get along well.”

“Can you tell us, which girl of her age will wake up at this point of time, water and clean the whole of the front yard, all by herself?”

“As far as I know, she had never missed a day out, she is always prompt in her doings.”

Poncetuceni was moved by the amount of love the whole family was giving to his motherless child, since he can’t allow any emotional outbursts before the group, he raised his hands and said:

“I like that girl, she is very sweet, there wasn’t anything wrong about her, it was our mistake to sleep right before the entrance, she just did what any cautious girl will do, that too for her age, it is fairly acceptable.”

The old man looked at him approvingly, some unspoken words passed between them, the understanding was clear, though the old man was hard on her even if he doesn’t want to, the whole family took to her side, they all loved and adored her, that was more than enough for Poncetuceni, he knew well, even he can’t give such a family-bonded, love filled, warm, hearty life to her daughter, even if he wanted to, even if he is free of all his duties. The unplanned instance really touched him deeply, at the verge of emotional outburst, moved by their words and their love they had for his daughter, he left the hut hurriedly along with the old man.

There on the veranda, Killivalavan was silently listening to everything that was being said, it nurtured in him a good feeling about Mathuranjanadevi. After Poncetuceni came out, they together placed their things inside the hut, attended to their horses, fondled them, went for their morning needs, bathed leisurely and got ready for the day, by the time they came back to the hut, the veranda was washed and wiped clean. It looked cool and moist, they were offered each a bowl of porridge, made out of millet and a few vegetables, along with mango pickles and a few roasted dried fishes, after finishing their breakfast, they eased and stretched on the veranda. Poncetuceni started talking to Killivalavan:

“Did you notice Siddhar Macham ask Muthupandian to teach adimurai and varmam, it is going to bring a great change in the history of our land, we must capitalize on it. I see him as an honest man and I strongly believe that he will able to imbibe all his skills without holding anything back, to most of his students, even to those who don't deserve it, hence, sooner or later, most of his students, will have the potential to become great warriors, still further, few of them will have the potential to become the unsurpassable, the unconquerable ones, our senai must take in all of them, so once they are trained, we will get all those men enlisted in our senai, we will make experts out of them, they should grow up and take up high ranks, that are now wasted by useless, pompous ones with nothing but loud, boastful mouths, soon the senai will not only get rid of the weeds, but will also be replaced effectively by Muthupandian’s students, they will all be looked up as heroes, they will teach their secret arts to their comrades, the spirit of the camp will be high and ebullient. In the real time situations, words of confidence alone will not help, neither will the make-beliefs work, rather, it’s a harmonious combination and expression of hardcore training, mastery of skills, incomparable ability, indomitable spirit and impeccable character, the essential ones, the golden traits, which actually elevates the warrior and makes him invincible and unconquerable, seldom we see such men of greater, god given abilities, who have all the potential to bring a massive transformation in this world, either by words or by swords.”

He contemplated for a few moments, stared into the open space, gently stroking his gray beard with a few black strokes, he continued, words started flowing out of him:

“What will practice pay, if what he practices are useless mediocre styles? What will confidence do, if he doesn’t have the inherent ability to fight? What will all those high talks and self pride do, if a warrior’s mind is not still enough to dance with the flow? What will all these weapons do it by self, when the user is not skilled enough to whirl it around? How long can a warrior fight, if he doesn’t know how to tap the untapped energy? Right now, our senai is full of such soldiers, but many of them have, and possess great potentials, so than giving lame excuses after being defeated by the enemies, over the next few years, let us totally bring a positive reformation in all our soldiers, in our culture, now. Pathetically, the present trend is, if they see someone better and shining, they will send them back home, like what happened to you, so that their status, position and pride are not affected by champions like you, so they are not demoted and humiliated by the triumphant ones. We need to first change this scenario, before I uproot such men, who fear great invincible warriors, I would like to infiltrate our senai with many such ones, the first condition is they should be sworn to loyalty, second, either they should be a warrior by all rights or should have the inherent ability in becoming a one, third, they should possess all these five great virtues; sincerity, honesty, punctuality, tolerance and patience, fourth either they should be obedient or religiously abide by rules and regulations, the latter is always better, as obedience may pave way into the making of filthy, disgusting, stinking egos, fifth, they should not have any physical infirmities that will affect the overall performance.”

Then he paused for a moment and continued:

“All these criteria are very important, we can’t hire a rat and train it to become a tiger because by nature, rats are elusive spies, who can steal any amount of information and who will, even if you don't want to, so we must have fewer felines in our senai to guard ourselves from the rats and fewer rats in our enemies senai to prevent them from attacking us, similarly we can’t hire a lion and train it to be a tiger, because lions are born to lead and they attack all alone, straight and hard, right and fast and they won’t compromise, neither on the standpoint nor on their virtues, whereas the warriors should hunt in pack, like tigers, in complete coordination. Tigers are stealthy, if group of tigers plan and attack in harmony, they can even bring down a single male elephant, in no matter of time, in addition, tigers crouch, and they wait for the right time, whereas lions don’t crouch, they attack straight down, majestically, with full force, and they are uncontrollably ruthless, indeed, they act independently on their own, if you are thinking about enlisting lions, well, you should make sure, you have masters, who previously have been a lion out in the field and who have grown up to tame lions, else for warriors, to be on the safer side, either we hire tigers and teach them to be great warriors or we hire invincible warriors who can tame the tigers, then our senai will have ruthless, hundreds and thousands of such unconquerable warriors, if right men lead them, our senai will turn out to be not only an invincible one, but the most respected and feared one, easily said, but making it happen is obviously a difficult task, in fact, a herculean one, when that happens, I can well say, I have fulfilled my duties, I can retire as a happy man and live a humble, spiritual life out in the woods, but our army as such, inclusive of our senai, is now ruled by packs of bloodthirsty wolves and all our soldiers are tamed, beaten, forged to become lambs, their spirits are crushed, so that these wolves can happily feast on them, when they are not fed enough. They have been continuing this social melodrama for years together, when in fact, most of the causes they attribute are pretentious, superficial, box of lies. I very strongly objected it, so I have become their arch enemy, my life may not be taken by our enemies, but by our own men, to whom I have become a disgusting, repulsive enemy. They have been in this for many years together and it is too difficult for them to change, leave alone, bringing up a transformation in their units, the moment they see a tiger or a lion or a potential in becoming a one, they are threatened to the core, so either they kill such potentials or send them back home, in the name of safeguarding their positions and status in the units and foolishly boast themselves saying that its art of survival. Since their heart is that of the wolf and they have not tapped upon their internal energy, they could neither tame a tiger nor a lion, they would fail miserably, the sign of their weakness and inability is explicitly expressed, when they feed on their own lambs in their own units. In simple words, a man with a wolf’s heart will bring only chaos, they will ruin their soldiers, in fact, they will go to an extent, they will start enlisting only wolves and lambs, if you see such senais they will have lots of internal conflicts, one leader will blame another and they will be more interested in killing one another, than killing their common enemies. What do you expect when wolves rule, other than feeding on their own lambs, in fact, they enlist lambs, only to feed on them during difficult times. When wolves rule, their first problem will be the tigers and lions within the camp, not the lions and tigers in the enemy's camp, the miserable fact is, our army, inclusive of our senai, is led only by packs of wolves, they create internal riots, uprisings, conflicts and live on them, few of them have really cherished on it and have made a big fortune. The lesson for us, is the mistakes they have made, rather than looking into their pits and falls, let us correct the flaws in our senai, let the first transformation come here, right from us.”

He paused for a moment, looked probingly at Killivalavan, drank water from the flask placed nearby, stroking his gray beard, continued to talk:

“Lions are straight, they attack hard and fast, tigers are stealthy, they crouch and pounce, but both make their kill in the limelight, steadfast and there is a great honor to it. A man who back stabs one’s enemies will also back stab you, it is just a question of time, if there is no honor, it is better that you die, than live on the flesh of your own kind. We need to give our men, great ability and steadfast sureness that comes, not just by words of confidence, but by sheer skills gained from relentless, strenuous practice and the ability to muster all their skills at any given moment, we should give them unsurpassable values to cling upon, the grand solemn reason, why they fight and what they fight for—patriotism, loyalty, valor, sincerity, honesty and so on, if this happens, I make sure our senai will become simply unconquerable, not only among our other senais, but even among our arch enemies. On hearing our names, our enemies will think a thousand times before waging a war with us, if they still pounce upon us with a made-up over-confidence, we will break their backs and send them back home with wagons full of corpses. This is the right time for building our senai, if we start today, we will reach unimaginable heights in next three years and there are lots of weeds to be removed, including the ones who are leading the thalams and the anis, my first strategy is to pitch you against them and make them leave voluntarily, we need to remove the rotten tumors, before it spreads throughout the senai, we can build a new one, incredibly faster and this is the right time, we must speed without spilling the water. Slowly we will take in Muthupandian’s students one by one, the best ones, of course we can’t take in velirs legally, but as the first step, you can ask your tribal friends to get trained by Muthupandian, then you can make them get sworn to you personally, we will post them at various points within our senai, but you should never ever make the mistake of openly exposing your friendship with them, I know the wolves out there, better than you do, they are just looking out for such clusters, over which they can feed happily for months, so don’t make that mistake, no personal shits within the camp, keep it outside, but also don’t forget the fact, they are out there for you, they have come here all the way only for you, so you must meet and spend time with them once in a while, talk to them, feed them with the elixirs of life—inspiration, acceptance, love and hope. Your job is to keep them inspired, they will start looking up to you, whenever they see you by my side, they will feel more secure, words will spread out, many more such will join our senai, in later stages, we will start our own training camps, drill our men to become the best in the world. When their comrades have achieved great heights, other soldiers will not have a chance, either they need to step up, else they have to give way to the young ones and work for them contented. Soon our senai will be filled with ruthless, unsurpassable warriors, each one should be so lethal enough to make thousand kills in a day. I see it happening. Let us do this journey together. I see in you, strong traits of leadership, you will emanate great values that everyone so dearly look up to, such as love for our motherland, culture and tradition. Inadditon, you have a very strong character that stands out for loyalty, honesty, sincerity, valor, righteousness and compassion, what else people would need, they will just flock around you, they will adore you, they will be ready to lay down their lives for you. It is possible. We will make it happen. Let it bring peace in all our troubled lands.”

After such a long talk, Poncetuceni laid his back flat and started contemplating on his plans, soon out of tiredness, both of them fell asleep, it was around mid-noon, when the old man woke them up for lunch, no sooner they got up, a hot, appetite invoking aroma of fish curry filled their lungs, and before them, both the old man and her seventh daughter, Mathuranjanadevi were standing politely. Her exquisite beauty surpassed everything around, she was trying to make herself look humble, but that didn’t befit her wild, indomitable nature, trying in vain to hide her true self, she came close to Poncetuceni, bowed her head courteously, said in her sweet voice that went well with her beauty:

“Am sorry for what happened in the morning. I sincerely apologize for my unmannerly behavior.”

Poncetuceni wasn’t able to hide his joy, it was very clear that she didn’t feel even a bit sorry for what had happened in the morning, only to soothe her old man, she has come forward and pretended fruitlessly, to stage an act of sorriness, which was very clear to the gathering, mostly, Poncetuceni, unable to contain his joy at seeing her again so close and her obvious pretension to look polite, made him laugh, he laughed out loud, taken by the lovely laugh, a sweet impeccable smile crossed her pink colored, fleshy, slightly parted, pout lips, just for a flick of a moment, then hiding it, she came close to Killivalavan, before anyone could spot, within a whimsical second, she stealthily kicked him hard, right at his ankle and then said with an ostentatious smile:

“Am sorry.”

The next moment before Killivalavan could realize what had happened, she fled into the hut, and by the heaviness of the kick, he knew, she didn’t want to apologize to him. Unable to hide his interest in her, continuing to admire her beauty, and not knowing that he was in fact talking to the father of the girl, he said to Poncetuceni in low whispers:

“I have never seen such high spirited beauty in my life, a man must be really gifted to have her as a wife.”

And as though mesmerized, he started to stare at the doors, through which she went in. Though Poncetuceni was taken by surprise, after a very deep thought, he politely asked Killivalavan:

“If you are interested in her, I will talk to both your mother as well as her father, well, only, if you don’t object.”

Killivalavan shied a bit and said smilingly, “Ok. Please talk.”

 (To be continued...)

Written on Dates: 09/16-09/19

About Adhavan
Chapter 01 The Realization of the Vocation

Chapter 02 The First Glimpse of the Third Eye

Chapter 03 The Complete Surrender

Chapter 04 The Sacredness of the Divine Incarnation

Chapter 05 The Veneration of a Guru

Chapter 06 The Immortality

Chapter 07 The Art of Dying

Chapter 08 The Good Cause

Chapter 09 The First Dissemination

Chapter 10 The One behind the Spiritual Transformation
Chapter 11 The Smothering of the Class Distinctions

Chapter 12 The Insight of the Divine Lamp
Chapter 13 The Great Four

Chapter 14 The Final Samadhi
Chapter 15 The Blossoming Love
Chapter 16 The Divine Intervention
Chapter 17 The Second Dissemination

Chapter 18 The Fusion and Beyond
Chapter 19 The Rise of an Internal Conflict
Chapter 20 The Realization of the Self
Chapter 21 The Way of the Siddhars
Chapter 22 The Jealous Bigots

Adhavan (23): The Jealous Bigots

Chapter 22: The Jealous Bigots

Makes the attainable, the most unattainable.

Translation

If someone else desire my woman

Will I leave him? Will I not say that he should be killed first?

When the death calls upon you, this precious body will smell foul

They will come till the crematorium, to handover the corpse to the cremator.

—Siddhar Sivavakkiyar Song (005)

Individual experiences, forced down dogmas, social background, cultural influences, family standpoints, individual perceptions, genetic traits, personal desires, emotional quotient, financial security, social expectation, forced down personal agendas, individual consciousness, collective consciousness and many more attributes, all of them help in forming a mind, altogether, in various proportions, continuously, every moment, they keep impinging on the sensitive mind, mutating it further, inconspicuously, finally transforming it into an absolute, rigid, insensitive one—this state, this accumulation point, stands out to be the character of the person that we generally associate with, after which, any change, irrespective of it being good or bad, would go imperceptible, unaffecting much, the overall unique personality, the subject it has developed into, that we generally see as ‘the matured mind’, or ‘the ego’, either way, it becomes, it gradually transforms, into the most insensitive, non-adaptive, unalterable, the unvarying mind, in other words, the stifling, the unchanging ego—so much go into the making of a person, if so, how difficult it would be, to bring upon transformation upon such a highly complicated system, the formed mind, the forged ego, help it attain the natural convergence, the harmonious resting over sound and light that is very much audible and seeable within oneself, leave alone, going further and seeing the divine lamp within, then much farther, merging with the parabrahmam, the one, the god. To most of us, in fact, all of us, the enemy is within oneself, the bigot is within you, transform him, the natural transformation will take over you, it is a birthright of every single human being born, everyone should fight for it, fortunately, the fight is within you, so its winnable, it is not about the good against the bad, rather, it’s about letting your mind dwell on the sanctous sanctorum of your body and the elements that are not letting it happen, identify them, exterminate them, the divine lamp will majestically, spontaneously, bloom upon the divine white lotus. The most elusive part and the most trickiest one, is the identification of these elements, in the sense, even the thought pattern about identifying such an element, in itself, is an element to be removed, to further worsen the situation, by the time you identify it, the patterns might have mutated and taken some other form, leaving you at bay, though they may not create a noticeable transformation of the well formed mind, they are still mutates, and they keep evolving continuously with respect to time, space and events, strengthening further the fort of the formed mind, hence this ongoing transient nature of the elements, makes the attainable, the most unattainable, only an unflinching, assiduous, unrelenting mind can bear fruit in the sacred pursuit of self-realization.

Nedunenkilli was obviously surprised by the daring intervention of the two local guards, either they didn’t know who they were, or they knew them well to be the cavalry of the mighty eastern vendhars, the foremost is ignorance, a forgivable stupidity, so can be forgiven, whereas, the latter is vexatious, could either turn out to be an unforgivable intervention or a futile attempt on his life. In the given location, in the given time, among his group of elite soldiers, the first possibility of the logic seems to be totally impossible, as everyone would have known them, the moment they saw them, their cavalry, their flag, their men and their outfit, were all self explanatory. The second possibility looked ridiculous, for the men standing out before him, stood so politely, with their heads bowed down, so he sensed no evil in their intentions, actually, he hoped they had some valid good reason for making such an audacious intervention, in fact, Nedunenkilli, started liking them, though the blockading of a royal cavalry is a punishable crime and an act to be punished immediately, without an official hearing, the men out there were smiling, they looked humble, especially they stood with their heads bowed down, that was more than enough to appease Nedunenkilli, irrespective of whether they are proved to be guilty or not, for in his personal lexicon, those were the signs of good attitude, respect for elders, power and authority, so he overruled the law and decided not to arrest them. The third possibility looked much more ridiculous, just for the simple reason, all his men would have been dead by now, if they have come to kill them, and they would have not come out so openly, they would have launched their attack from the nearby hideouts. So he further scrutinized the second possibility, from there, he could see many more such odds, stretching out before him, by the general disposition of the guards, he was able to perceive that they are just guards, nothing more, rather, he expected the ones, who have ordered the blockade to wait for him secretively, somewhere around the place of the happenings, for if he was a male or a group of males, he would have come to him straight, along with their guards, so it must be a woman, who pretty much didn’t want to disclose her identity, before a group of strangers, who were all men, for the fear of losing her reputation, or it could have been that she has come up with petitions that she didn’t want to disclose publicly, then, it is highly unlikely for her to have come alone, so it must be more than one, might be, they would have come with few more guards and maids, so he moved past his men, rode along with their guards, without hesitation, leaving his own men waiting for him. That is the mind of Nedunenkilli, a man of logics, who had rarely made a mistake in the war front, is now approaching an erratic human problem, unfortunately, he is not the man to deal with humanity and its problems, for he misunderstood the very simple fact of life, human beings are not machines, they have their own complexities, which knowingly, deceitfully, can’t be comfortably grouped under the box emotions, then, almost all items in life, would be recategorized under the ignored, purple (it is not red) colored box, labelled, ‘senses, instincts and emotions’, very few, negligible quantities would be grouped under the white colored box ‘logics’, so as per the science of predictions, all his plans based on logics, will go for a fix, they are doomed to fail for sure, in life related matters, owing to the simple truth, ‘life is not all logics’, so the biggest mistake he made here, is to trust a woman, who dared to intervene the royal cavalry, sought its commander in privacy, that too without disclosing her identity—a sure sign of spreading evilness, a woman who dared to break rules once, will break the rules again and it could be for any reason. Nedunenkilli’s logical mind failed to apply ethics, morality and common sense, over his sheer logical conclusions, though he was highly logical, he failed to be wise, and so he decided to meet the ‘Who?’ and he failed right at that moment, that was his first step into her trap, he foolishly let a third person approach him, bypassing his superiors, in case of political issues and his father or the concerned, in case of family matters. When he stepped in, he didn’t know that it is both, he rode briskly, confidently, towards the chariot, along with their guards.

He was right, his logical conclusions have never failed him, there stood a big chariot, a closed one, driven by four rough beasts, majestically, under the shades of an enormous peepul tree, in the center of an expansive farm. When he got down and walked towards the chariot, a smiling face opened the door and welcomed him in. He climbed up and stood mesmerized at the extravaganza of the interior decoration, what he saw was really amazing, the interiors of the chariot looked heavenly; the golden light emanating from the antique oil lamps, fixed at the corners, permeated every nook and corner of the chamber; the white robes made of white silk, draping the white walls, fell smoothly, covering almost all its sides, contained the glorious, suffusing, golden white light within; the red colored, hand woven, intricate designs, stood out fantastically on the white robes, it glittered like ornaments, reflecting the golden white light, back and forth, everywhere, which then mixed sensuously with the exotic fragrance, emanating from the affluent ladies, presenting an atmosphere effused with extravagant richness. He felt like he was in the heavens. The tall woman of moderate complexion, who smilingly welcomed him in, was inches taller than him. She looked pompous with her heavy set hips, slim waist, sensuous lips and large roving eyes, she talked in whispers, as though, everything she was saying is of utmost importance and to be considered highly secretive, she kept moving from subject to subject, artificially, avoiding straight questions and straight answers, though her eyes seemed to look fixed and oriented, her mind was literally spiraling out of control. She introduced herself as the wife of Athiperunar, started speaking about him and Nedunenkilli, in great praise and honor, along with lots of inquiries about Macham, Sarutha and Killivalavan.

Nedunenkilli interrupted and asked her:

“How do I call you Madam?”

She smiled at him and replied:

“My name is Saya, please call me by my name.”

Then she pointed at 2 short, round, big fat ladies, sitting next to her, whose hips were twice the size of their bosoms, the heavily built one with dark complexion was called Pahi, and the flabby one with fair complexion was called Sova. They were staring openly at him. Pahi was introduced as the wife of Mathurarayar and Sova as the wife of Yuvaninathan.

Nedunenkilli stored their names in his mind, in an easily recognizable manner, Saya, the tall, stooping one, is the wife of Athiperunar, Pahi, the fat black one, is the wife of Mathurarayar and Sova, the fat white one, is the wife of Yuvaninathan. Confident, that he can recall each of their names without confusion, he started conversing with them fluently. He said:

“Well ladies, I hope, you have not stopped me to introduce yourselves. Isn’t it?”

Pahi replied:

“No sir, of course not, we are here to seek your advice and help. We are very much in need of it. Our men are so troubled with the recent happenings at the laughing hills and they are burning with rightful, strong indignation. We want to give them some peace and we believe you can help us a lot.”

Saya voiced along with her:

“See, we want all of us to be happy, we don’t want anyone to be hurt, it is not that we are against anyone specifically, so you see, we just want to be of help, do something about it rather than sitting idle.”

Sova remained silent throughout the conversation and continued to remain so, listening carefully to everything being said, apparently, she looked old and was leading the group.

Nedunenkilli was moved by the plea, it always had a special ringing effect, when it was being made by the ladies of high places, especially when they look up to you with reverence, seeking very much your personal intervention, but he didn’t know how to probe their minds and see what was lying behind their thick veil of pretending goodness, rather, he started listening to their stories blindly, he started believing in them, without making any necessary validations, so their stories along with their tears and pleas, sank deep into him, he felt an immediate urge to do something, predominantly for Saya as he was personally touched by her caring, motherly nature. He let himself slowly fall into their trap. He asked them politely:

“Ladies, I would be happy If I could be of help, but how, what do you want me to do?”

They all remained silent for a moment, the women knew, they need to make it look very logical, to earn his trust and woo him further into their trap. So Saya opened up with her first, big, fat lie:

“We all just love the way your mother runs the business, and we adore your father, he is so supernatural, psychic, extraordinary and all that stuff, but we can’t understand why he is so biased? Anyhow, our simple minds can understand his ways. Leave it. We all knew what happened, your father took a fugitive as his disciple and your brother befriended him against your wish, obviously, it must have hurt you deeply.”

She poked him further:

“All these days you have been taking care of him and he was literally following your steps, it was all so good, in fact, we thought you were his hero, then, all of a sudden, from nowhere, this guy jumped out of heaven, what is his name? The dark one....”

Pahi uttered:

“Muthupandian.”

Saya continued to weave her web:

“Yeah, that guy only, and the next day your brother takes his side. He should have at least some gratitude left in him, it so pathetic, of all, what you have done to him and to your family, today’s incident should have broken your heart, isn’t it? The least, an honest, hardworking man would have expected. We all understand how painful and insulting it must have been, we really feel sorry for it.”

Saya paused and continued:

“Oh! It’s so terrible, your father is so good at heart, he is so generous, he even takes a state’s enemy as his disciple, that is all fine and marvelous, but where does it all lead to? We just can’t blame him, that is his nature, at least your mother and your brother should have stood by your side. So ungrateful! So unfamily! I least expected this from Sarutha and your brother, you must have seen how she jumped and danced, after your father invited that Muthupandian to stay with them.”

Pahi interrupted:

“Fortunately, he was not there, to see all those things, else it would have been very painful.”

Slowly the women wove a web of lies, made out of facts, so that it looks like truth, but in fact, their subjective conclusions are nothing but a heap of ugly lies, and Nedunenkilli walked into it all by himself without resistance.

Saya continued:

“Why don’t people care about others feelings? Why do they hurt one another? Why? That too within the same family, it is all so bad. You know what, it all looks absolutely ridiculous. Of all, how it would pain, when people are ungrateful. Ah, I have experienced it myself, the pain of betrayal, the pain of ingratitude, the life as such. And who is that little spoilt brat, that weird kid?”

Pahi interrupted:

“The slim one uh, that kid, I think, his name is Adhavan.”

Saya blasted out:

“Oh no! Have you ever talked to him? My god, he is such a spoilt brat, with a drastic, disgusting, rotten attitude. I bet, you would have never seen such a person, with such an attitude, in whole of your life, not even in king of kings, and when he opens his loud mouth, you know what, he talks like he is god.”

Pahi interrupted and said sarcastically:

“He just didn’t say that out. That’s all. But he walks like god, talks like a god, as though he knows everything about everyone, in fact, he behaves like a one, he is out there only to teach people, to him, everyone other than himself are just despicable fools. My goodness gracious! You must have seen him talking, especially his degrading language, and the attitude with which he says things. Simply unacceptable.”

As and when Pahi slowed down, Saya continued with much more gusto:

“What is he? Just an 18 year old guy. What has he achieved in this world? What does he know about life? Where does he stand before people of great accomplishments, like Athiperunar and Mathurarayar? Leave them, what about Yuvaninathan? You know what experiences he has in life, he has literally travelled all over the world, there isn’t any item in the world that he doesn’t know about, even to him, he talks with such an arrogance, I can’t help laughing at it, that little brat was teaching about God to a man like Yuvaninathan, when even your father Macham, doesn’t even advice him.”

Pahi interrupted again:

“Sir, you must please do something, it’s just going beyond limits, in fact, my husband cried that night, he had lost all his confidence, he felt so broken and disheartened. I have never seen him like that before.”

Saya continued furiously:

“Please don’t take me wrong, we know your father is a spiritual man, so he can tolerate whatever gibberish he talks and still be compassionate with him, though he doesn’t deserve it, on the contrary, the truth is, he is just an unscrupulous idiot, you must also see the way he is being adored, loved and pampered, by your mother, it is so repulsive, she literally loves him more than her own children. It is all so disgusting, they are literally spoiling him out there.”

Pahi interrupted:

“Not only him, even other kids have started following him. This Adhavan thinks of himself as one god, sometimes he goes and sleeps out there in the wilderness, on the boulders, without doing any work, without taking any food, he just keeps loafing around like great siddhars, all the girls out there love him, they just flirt with him, the womenfolk loves him so much, and you know what? He doesn’t eat much, so they keep trying so many things to make him eat, what nonsense? Why don’t they just go and breastfeed him? They make him look so precious, they all adore him so much. Unbelievable! Even they don’t mind lying down with him. For god’s sake, if they were not married, they would have slept with him. I myself have overheard women talking so. My god, it’s all too much. No wonder the kid is like that, the worst part is, other guys have started following him, because he gets all the goodies from the womenfolk. Even your brothers and sisters like him so much, but they don’t know that he is the reason, why your brother, who used to be so obedient, has suddenly become so rebellious and insubordinate. I bet my last penny on that, Adhavan is the reason behind all this nonsense that is happening to us.”

Saya jumped into another stream of outburst:

“Even my man was sobbing like a child, that night, he was literally killed, he spent 3 sleepless nights, after spending an hour with Adhavan. Being a woman, with our own limitations, we feel so helpless. That day, he even went to an extent of committing suicide. Of all, a man of his caliber, expects to be respected, is it wrong? And this skinny delinquent jerk, plays around with that, you know what, the worst part is people who follow him, they also mistreat us, humiliate us, insult us, the way you can’t imagine. The worst part is, he does something to us and we feel naked before him, as though all our worldly experiences, knowledge we have gained, understanding we had about life and society, greatness we have achieved, even our very basic existence, all collapses right before his arrogant, ruthless, uncivilized, disrespectful, degrading approach. It’s burning inside me, I just want to give it all back to him, right at this moment. He has made all our lives go miserable just in one hour. It’s so painful. It hurts. We must teach him a lesson.”

Pahi interrupted:

“Leave him Saya, he is just a kid, we don’t need to take revenge, but sir, we must teach them both a lesson, we should teach Adhavan good attitude and humbleness, Killivalavan kinship and gratitude. Only these things will help them in future, of course they are our kids too, if they don’t grow up to be a matured, socially responsible ones, then it is partly our mistake, so please be with us. Do help us."

After a pause, Pahi pleaded:

"Sir, you must. Only you can do it. Please.”

Then the gathering fell silent for few moments. Pahi continued:

“We all admire you, you are the most learnt one here. We respect you. We trust you. Please take care of both these guys. We don’t want any more problems because of them, as you know well, we can’t approach your father directly, Adhavan has cast a bloody magical spell over him, he always stands by his side, what may, whatever we try to tell him, it doesn’t get into his head, he just supports him blindly, including your mother, they both are spoiling them, and we all believe that is finally going to harm them the most, it will taint their hard earned good reputation. So, please take care of your parents as well as those wretched kids, of course they are good ones, but they don’t have a good, strict, teacher, you must step up to that role.”

Sova finally had her say, she talked authoritatively:

“My husband is 72 years old, throughout my days with him, I have never seen him shed a drop of tear, nor did he behave like a madman, that night, after he had a talk with Adhavan, he behaved like a possessed one, emptying bottles of imported liquors he almost drowned himself in the pond, shamelessly, he urinated in the bed, cried pitilessly in the morning hours. Your brother supports Adhavan so much, if you don’t take care of him, we know how to take care of them both, we are very serious, we want our men to walk proud, not in shame, we will do anything for it, but we trust you, as you are much a learnt men, just and socially responsible person, we leave the matters to you. Please do help us.”

Sova paused for a moment, and then continued,

“And I take this situation to formally invite you, for my daughter's betrothal, please do come, bless the couple, we all will be expecting you very much. The event is at our palace, a few miles near by your camp. Please do honor us by your presence.”

Saya was wiping the tears running down her eyes, Pahi was trying to soothe her, and Nedunenkilli consoled them:

“Ladies, first of all, I apologize for my brothers insane act, then, I assure you that I will pay my attention towards their growth, as you said, they are just kids, you must have some patience with them. Leave the matters to me, in future, if you have any problem, please report to me directly, don’t bother my parents, I don’t want them to get disturbed, then, finally, how do you manage to get so much of information without going out there?”

Pahi replied:

“Sir, we have ears everywhere, we womenfolk know everything happening to our husband, how else do you think we can manage men like Mathurarayar and Athiperunar.”

Saya said with a remorse:

“We even know that my husband is flirting with your sister Punguzali, not because he loves her, he does it purely to hurt Killivalavan and Adhavan, and do you realize how painful it is for me? See, this is what your sister and brother are doing to my life.”

With that Saya broke into tears, Pahi and Sova started to soothe her, Nedunenkilli realizing that it was time for him to leave, bid adieu, left the chariot, walked towards his horse, the guards accompanied him back to the spot they picked him up.

The travel back to his camp was painful, crowded with thoughts about his family, especially over the troubled relationship with his brother Killivalavan and the stupid standoff they had today in the presence of the public eyes; the list of horrendous complaints he was getting on the kid Adhavan, one of his father’s disciples, his one other disciple is Muthupandian, state’s arch enemy, who is being protected by his father ruthlessly, under the guise of a disciple; the brush off with the all knowing Poncetuceni, who has taken along with him, one of his most valuable asset, his brother Killivalavan, just in a flick of a moment; finally to end the day, the outpour of 3 rich women, seeking his help and intervention in their personal matters, turned out to be an unending list of complaints on his brother Killivalavan, Adhavan, his mother and his sister Punguzali. Overnight, suddenly, he felt a big burden being laid upon him, to cope with the psychological pressure he was going through, his shoulders slumped a bit to the right, his mind raced across in all directions, to find a good solution to all of his problems. When you tackle emotional situations, you can’t compromise one over another, else it may backfire and worsen the situations further. So he went through it, over and again, it was a painstaking process, he was tired, confused and emotionally beaten, he was unable to fathom the depth and spread of the problem its complexities have networked into. How many hearts would it affect? How many minds would it trouble? Unable to think any further, his mind drowsed, he needed a cool bath, a good sleep, lot of rest, and a mild supper. With that simple yearning, he felt bit light, travelled the remaining distance without much worries.

There in the racing chariot, the women were laughing out their hearts, Saya was telling Pahi:

“Incredible, that fool believed us, uh?”

Pahi said:

“Come on guys, poor fellow, we trapped him, we will give him some goodies tomorrow, to boost his spirit, we will tell him that he his the best man around, the most handsome one, the intelligent one and so on. Then, we will make others look up to him, we will raise him to a level where he would feel like a god, we will even make him question the wisdom of his own father. We will make their whole family pay for it.”

Sova said calmly:

“You did put up a good show Saya. Did you rehearse with Athiperunar?”

Saya said:

“No, actually, he acted it out for me, but that part on Punguzali, it just blurted out.”

Pahi replied:

“Yeah, we saw it, you should have not said it.”

Sova said:

“It is ok. Sometime it happens, and I think that girl is not actually after your man, she is pawning him, she must be in love with that cute ass, Adhavan. She is one fool, she doesn’t know how to express her love, so by being typically feminine, she is trying to make him feel jealous using Athiperunar.”

Pahi said:

“Everyone says, Adhavan looks so good, he must really look hot, no wonder Punguzali fell for him.”

Saya biting her lower lips, uttered:

“Then it’s my turn now, I will have my vengeance for the pain they both have inflicted upon me.”

Sova questioned:

“You mean Athiperunar and Punguzali.”

Saya confirmed:

“Yes, blood for blood, I bet, I will seduce that kid, fuck him right before Punguzali, on a day, and before Athiperunar on another day.”

Pahi winked at her and said sheepishly:

“For me.”

Saya laughed and replied:

“I will see if I can make a dude out of him, but obviously he will be mine, she took my man, I am taking her boy.”

Sova grew serious and said:

“Come on girls, don’t get into unnecessary problems, you need to learn a lot about men, some of them are smarter than what we think. Let us first kill our men, for all the pains they have inflicted upon us. We must somehow try to bring in that Adhavan, into our circle, he should run errands for us, every time they look at him they will burn with jealousy and hatred. He will be a pain in their ass. It will be so fucking painful, at the same time, we should not cross the limit, these men will have us as wives, only till the moment we are true to them, on the other hand, if they come to know that we are flirting with that dude, teasing him and having fun with him, we are nothing but useless whores to them, from then, we can’t expect even a penny out of them, they will dump us in the streets and happily get married to a young chick. We must devise a plan to get our hands on their wealth first, before we go after them.”

Pahi replied:

“Yes, I agree, we have our own limits, none of their property belongs to us.”

Saya replied:

“Yeah. I too agree with that. We need to be very careful, that doesn’t mean, I should not have my vengeance. Adhavan is my pawn, I will use him effectively against all those who have hurt us. Will that fool fall in love easily?”

Pahi said sarcastically:

“We know men. As long as they have a dick, they can be made to fall in love.”

They all laughed loud at her reply. The racing chariot belonged to Sova, she dropped one after another, in their homes and took off to her palace.

God fearing Nedunenkilli, unaware of all these wicked thoughts of the 3 rich women allowed himself to believe that they are actually in need of help, so he decided to attend Sova’s daughter’s betrothal. With that last thought in mind, he went to sleep without understanding the level and seriousness of the mistakes he has committed in the past few hours; he had crossed almost all limits, by trusting those women. He bought their heart stirring stories on his father, his father’s disciples, his mother, his brother and his sister without discussing with any of them in person, his mind cunningly avoided listening to their version of the stories; mourned for himself and deeply regretted the grievances poured out by those rich ladies; soothed his sores by consoling their worries; raised himself to a level of God and allowed himself to believe that he can solve their problems; blindly accepted that the problem is with his brother and his father’s disciple; like an omnipotent God, assured them on their behalf, when in truth, he actually doesn’t have any say over their matters; out of ignorance, underestimated the power of siddhar Macham and his wisdom; without proper understanding of the problems, accepted to pay a visit to their palace without his father’s approval, ignoring the point the family has not been invited; to soothe his pride, created a make-belief that he his better than Killivalavan, Adhavan, Sarutha, even Siddhar Macham, so he can comfortably judge their behavior and condemn them for their mistakes. The bloody reason for all this sudden change over, was his pride that has been hurt very badly, so in order to restore it, he either should make himself feel morally superior to them or degrade them to the stage, whereby, he would obviously look better than them, so he tried to find fault against those who demeaned him, his father and his own brother. He wanted them to commit mistakes. He wanted to catch hold of them red-handed and expose them to the world proudly, “See, they are also fallible?” Only that will make him feel better, morally better, rightfully better. Right amidst such a vulnerable situations he was emotionally going through, he was baited by the 3 ladies from high places, and it worked, he let himself comfortably, foolishly believe that they are righteous. He felt better, when they talked wrong about his brother, that again made him morally superior, so he again forced himself to believe that the rich women are right, by that, he has stepped into a big trouble that he will never be able to come out swimmingly. Years may pass by, whatever lame excuses he comes up with and justifies, his own guilt will kill him, sooner or later. It is just a question of time.

For Nedunenkilli, the next day morning was a bit hectic one, he spent the whole morning bent over his desk, going through the voluminous amount of information shared by his sources, he went through each one of them patiently, over many issues, ranging from a small theft at a local camp to a big uprising in the borders, he is responsible for the sovereignty of the borders that comes under his control, his job was to exactly identify ‘the information’ out of some thousands pouring in daily, most of them are on routine activities made to look big and dangerous; some specifically, are made up information deployed to get his attention, very few of them had the potential to cause uprisings, out of which, some are ploys of counterintelligence activities, played by the enemies of the state to divert his attention, that leaves him with handful of information that he should attend for that day, with the help of his men, along with other day-to-day routine activities he should monitor and control. That’s his life, going over each and every piece of information meticulously, segregating them between valuable and invaluable, then, out of the valuable, he has to sort the items and put them into various department boxes, of which, his first priority would be the ones in the national security box, he then validates all the valuable information in it and prioritizes the ones he should act upon, so throughout his life, logic has become an essential part, to an extent he started applying logics everywhere, in everything he saw, discerning it from good and bad, useful and useless, human and inhuman, ethical and unethical and so on, then he would act upon them, in precise, logical, calculative manner. But to his wonder the piece of information he obtained last night was too personal to put into any box, so he kept chewing over it, over and again, trying to get into the matter, trying to understand what has gone wrong, slowly, he started to make a conclusion, whatever it might be, if a kid doesn’t show respect to elders then he is to be corrected, so he moved Adhavan into the box ‘To be punished and corrected’, then he thought about Killivalavan, he has not shown his gratitude at the most expected moment and he his supporting trouble brewers like Adhavan and Muthupandian, so he also moved him into the box, ‘To be punished and corrected', then he thought about his mother and father, he just pushed them aside comfortably, deceptively, attributing a simple reason that they are old and not to be disturbed with such silly affairs. Then he went over Muthupandian, his pride was at stake, his ego has been hurt deeply, now he felt, how Athiperunar, Mathurarayar and Yuvaninathan would have felt, he understood their pain, so he moved Muthupandian into the box, ‘To be killed’. The nation was secure enough, he didn’t have much to worry about it, the onset of the war with northern king’s army is factually expected to be postponed for years together, as the speculations says, a deadly war is about to erupt, at any moment, against the great ruthless army of the kingdom at middle-east border, hence he could sit back and enjoy two great powers tearing apart one another, wait for the victor, then plan his moves based on the situations at that point of time, but he needs to keep an alert watch over them, at any time, their wrath may turn upon the southerners, then he might need to act upon immediately, everything should be there ready on the tables, to be deployed if situations demand so. So he issued a string of commands to his men, alerted them to be like, they would be in the wartime situations. He was almost done with his day’s work. Then, he inspected his men, when the sun was high in the skies, he slowly moved to his residence in the remote corners of the camp, attended to his family needs, had his lunch, shared his woes with his wive Prajitha, requested her company for the evening party, with that he took a short nap. 

Early that evening, he left with his wife Prajitha, in an army wagon, to the palace of Yuvaninathan. Saya came running towards them, took them by her hands, invited them into the palace, it was royal welcome, as they walked in, petals of roses were thrown at them, they were garlanded with beautiful flowers and the whole place looked heavenly, royal, befitting their luxurious, princely life. Though they all know one another, Nedunenkilli was formally introduced to Athiperunar, Mathurarayar and Yuvaninathan, the trio exhibited the best of their characters, trying to win his heart, they made themselves look humble, helpful, kind, compassionate, spiritual, loving, generous and grateful. Nedunenkilli was moved by the way, they attended each and every one in their family, mainly, the respect they showed to their elders, it was so beautiful, he appreciated all of it heartily, his face was all smiles, he kept smiling over and again, after a very long time, he was smiling from his heart, all their elite men were introduced to him, they praised him, discussed with him, sought his advice, what not, he was treated like a war hero, he was literally elated to the position of God, which he foolishly, but heartily accepted it, that which can be seen in his unending hearty smiles, husband and wife together, they loved all of it, they kept smiling throughout the event. As Nedunenkilli was floating in adoration, Sova approached them and requested them to bless their couple, when they moved to the stage, the couple fell to their feet, seeking their blessings, that was the highest point of adoration, the respect given only to ones parents and grandparents, was also given to them, he stopped smiling, he was almost moved to tears, for all the humiliation laid upon him yesterday, here, he was bestowed with love, respect and adoration. Then slowly, Saya took them upstairs, accompanied by Sova, Pahi and their men, to their private study, well furnished with manuscripts, painting, sculptures, and all items, that were very costly, rare and artistic, they sat comfortably on the floor, over a soft duvet, he was requested to take the center seat, after formal discussions over many things, including business, art, politics and war, Sava offered the men, each a large cup of old cellar roman wine, they leisurely sipped on it, slowly a warmth grew inside them. Mathurarayar opened the discussion:

“What you see is not even half of what used to be, you don’t know, how much of pain and sacrifice we have put into building this, what all we have done to our people, that ungrateful bastard, what does he know about us?”

He paused and continued:

“Sorry sir, sorry for using that word, every manuscript in this library was bought from your family and still, that day, your brother didn’t even try to stop Adhavan, when he went on making us feel like a lame, wobbling, underground creatures. For all, what we have done to your family and the uncivilized tribe out there, we were literally back stabbed. Sorry, that is what I would say Yuvani. I am not trying to boast ourselves, rather, the point we would like to make is, both Killivalavan and Adhavan should be taught a lesson, they should know, how to behave with elders, especially with the people from high societies and men of great accomplishments, that day, he literally went on tearing us into pieces, why did we go all the way Yuvani, we actually didn’t go looking for him, we went in just for one reason, we trusted what Sarutha said, nothing else, on the contrary, we faced such a humiliation because we trusted Sarutha.”

He looked as Sova and said:

“What do I have to do with that guy Sova? Nothing. I don’t have anything with them, but you know, what sort of humiliation we went through that day. Words here spread around like fire Sova, earlier, people who even dare not look at us straight are now making fool of us Sova, you know what sort of comments they pass around, when we go that side. Every nerve is burning inside me Yuvani, I just want to thrash all those people. I can’t wait to get rid of them.”

Athiperunar said sarcastically:

“That is how it would be, that is how they will throw garbage at us. What we need to do is just to take it and rub it off. That is life.”

Mathurarayar replied: 

“Nonsense.”

Saya, said:

“Why you guys are spoiling their mood, they didn’t come here to listen to our sad stories.”

Pahi interrupted:

“Sorry sir, we apologize for their unruly behavior, it’s just that these guys are so pissed off with Adhavan’s words and Killivalavan’s silence.”

Athiperunar said:

“Yes, we are inhuman. We are beasts. We don’t know anything else other than fucking. Right? That’s how they are making us feel sir.”

Mathurarayar joined him:

“Now, that is how these working class is looking at us Yuvani, all our hard earned respect and reputation has been spoilt overnight, just like that, they literally severed it away from us. It is a theft. What are we going to do about that, Yuvani? We need to do something. We really need to do something about it. Shouldn’t we?”

Athiperunar said:

“Simple, they took what is precious to us so we will take away what is precious to them.”

Pahi intervened;

“Come on guys, they are just kids, they are taking their first step into a social life, they will come into terms with it soon.”

Mathurarayar said harshly:

“They are not kids Pahi, No sane kid will use that word. Fine, leave me, what about Yuvani?”

Athiperunar commented:

“Then it is simple, he is either insane or we will make him go insane.”

They all remained silent for a moment.

Nedunenkilli was taken back by the wrath, raging across the group. He kept to himself.

Mathurarayar unable to contain his anger anymore, emptied his glass of wine and stormed out of the room angrily. Sova ran behind, trying to convince him. Before leaving the room, he turned back stylishly and said, “Either you kill him Yuvani or I will kill them both.”

Athiperunar raised his hand and said:

“I’m with you.”

Then Athiperunar turned to Yuvaninathan and talked to him in whispers.

Saya turned to Nedunenkilli and told him:

“See, this is the pain we go through daily, this is what I told you, please do something.”

Then she whispered very softly that only he can hear, but was overheard by his gorgeous, beautiful wife:

“It is not him, Its Adhavan. They are very angry about him. You kill him, I mean, if they don’t see his face anywhere in this land, they will forget him, all of it, they will leave Killivalavan, your family, and your tribe, untouched. Please do it as a help, please, I will always be grateful to you. See, I can’t let these guys out with such a bad temper, they will not only harm him, they will harm everyone who is being good to him. You can’t leave it to them. They are not good enough to handle such sensitive matters.”

Nedunenkilli raised his voice and said with an air of authority:

“Please leave this to me. Killivalavan is my brother and Adhavan is my father’s disciple, no one can better reach them than me. I will teach them a lesson, make them feel sad for what they did to you.”

Athiperunar’s gesture expressed obvious dissatisfaction.

Yuvaninathan said:

“I don’t think you understood the situation well. Let me explain. It is unbearable pain. It is stifling humiliation. It is our hard earned stand in the society and a great reputation that has been crushed outrageously by the youths trained by your father. How will you give it back to them? How? Can you make them feel how we felt? Can you take away what they took from us? Can you inflict the same pain that we suffered?”

Saya mollified Nedunenkilli:

“Please say yes. Please. I will take care of it.”

Nedunenkilli suddenly become a God, under the spell cast by Saya, he confidently said:

“I will make sure they suffer twice the agony you people have experienced. You can mark my words.”

Yuvaninathan raised his voice and appreciated him:

“Well said my man, well, you really talk like a man. I do appreciate it, but everything has time frame to it. When? How long?”

Saya replied for him:

“Just give us one full year Yuvani. It will be more than enough to transfer all the pain and humiliation onto them. In addition, we will push Adhavan to an extent that he will either commit suicide or go mad, run naked and go wild in the streets, like a lunatic. We will manipulate the people who adored him, we will turn them against him, make them spit on him, curse him, and stone him to death.”

Still Athiperunar objected:

“If you are not doing this in a year, you better leave the matter to me and Mathurarayar. We will take care of it from then.”

Nedunenkilli said,

“You should learn to trust us. I think we are agreed.”

Saya was so happy, she raised a toast to the occasion and marked that day in her calendar.

Exactly at the time, though his body was under the huge neem tree, guarded well by the divine goddess Makali, Macham penetrated Nedunenkilli’s mind, went through everything that was discussed and agreed. No sooner Macham entered his mind, Nedunenkilli started feeling uncomfortable with the group, so he thanked them for the day and left the group sooner than expected. Sun has set when they came out of the palace, throughout the way back home, he seemed to be restless. Macham literally took over his wife Prajitha and tried to convince him through her:

She said:

“You better have a word with Killi, before you proceed any further on this matter, for god’s sake, he is a grown up adult Nedu, you must discuss with him before you make any decision. We can’t believe these people. I seriously don’t understand why you are not willing to listen to their part of the story. Are you scared that they will be proved to be innocent and then you will lose your chance to prove that you are better than them? I am very serious about it Nedu.”

Nedunenkilli defended harshly:

“No! In my eyes, Mathurarayar, Athiperunar and Yuvaninathan are righteous. I don’t need a proof. I will gather them if I need a one and there isn’t anything there for us to discuss about it, either we take back our word, or allow them to act, else we act in accordance with them, without revealing that we are doing this for them. I have made my decision.”

She again raised her doubts:

“What about Adhavan Nedu, he is your father’s disciple, we don’t have any rights over him, you must have a word with your father, before you take any action on him.”

Nedunenkilli selectively objected:

“I tell you again, don’t bring my father into this, Adhavan is in my land, at my home, eating my mother's food. I will make sure he pays for all the ill reputation he has brought upon my mother and my father. And I warn you again, please don’t get involved in this, he will pay for it, I will make him pay for it. His pain will wash the stains laid on my family. Don’t again try to compromise on my family pride.”

There, beneath the neem tree Macham’s heart sank deep. Nedunenkilli has started to mask his evil doings with family pride and family sentiments. He was really worried with his dishonest approach, he thought for long moments, opened his eyes and called out for Adhavan, he came running to him. Macham looked into his eyes and asked:

“Are you strong enough?”

Though Adhavan didn’t understand the depth of the question, he blurted:

“Yes, I think, I am strong enough.”

Macham replied:

“Your Guru has decided to act through you. You will see lots of changes happening around, be focused, don’t lose faith, for you have been selected at a very young age to carry out his will. Just be yourself. The test of time will wither away as faith grows stronger, day by day. You will have the immense blessings of my guru.”

Then Macham sent off Adhavan, closed his eyes and spoke to Nedunenkilli through Prajitha:

“All right, just for a year. By then, if you have not achieved what you guys have proposed to achieve, you will wash your hands off this matter, forever, else I will go to your father, myself, directly.”

Nedunenkilli was deeply enraged by the reply, it was clearly visible in his face, it grew stern, lips were pulled in, eyes were restless, he looked like a devil in a neat disposition. He didn’t reply her back, he remained silent without answering her warning. The first step he took in his latest mission, caused the first rift in the sweet relationship with his wife Prajitha. They remained silent throughout the return journey. The silence was painful. It did hurt both.

There at the private study, Pahi was yelling:

“We made it. Wow! Incredible! We made it Athu. We made it. We made those guys believe us.”

Saya hugged her and shouted:

“We will kill them all through their own blood.”

Yuvaninathan was not excited, rather he asked them both:

“Now. What is the plan? How are you going to do this? Will it happen the way we expect it to happen?”

Pahi requested:

“Please Yuvani, leave this to women, we have our own knack of doing things, we have our own ways, we know how to make men cry?”

Saya winked at Athiperunar and said:

“Don’t we?”

Athiperunar said:

“I like it, please do it, uh.”

Mathurarayar said:

“I won’t believe that until it happens Pahi. I will wait for one whole year. If you don’t make it by then, then he is all ours.”

Sova looked at Yuvaninathan and said:

“Wait and see what women can do. You will all enjoy it. Have fun. As to successfully start this project, please take all of us to laughing hills for the next full moon day celebrations, you see, what all happens from then.”

As they were enjoying the first initial moments of great triumph, one of Yuvaninathan’s man came running in, whispered in his ear:

“Master, one of your ships have been caught in the storm and all goods have been lost.”

 (To be continued...)

Written on Dates: 09/11-09/15

About Adhavan
Chapter 01 The Realization of the Vocation

Chapter 02 The First Glimpse of the Third Eye

Chapter 03 The Complete Surrender

Chapter 04 The Sacredness of the Divine Incarnation

Chapter 05 The Veneration of a Guru

Chapter 06 The Immortality

Chapter 07 The Art of Dying

Chapter 08 The Good Cause

Chapter 09 The First Dissemination

Chapter 10 The One behind the Spiritual Transformation
Chapter 11 The Smothering of the Class Distinctions

Chapter 12 The Insight of the Divine Lamp
Chapter 13 The Great Four

Chapter 14 The Final Samadhi
Chapter 15 The Blossoming Love
Chapter 16 The Divine Intervention
Chapter 17 The Second Dissemination

Chapter 18 The Fusion and Beyond
Chapter 19 The Rise of an Internal Conflict
Chapter 20 The Realization of the Self
Chapter 21 The Way of the Siddhars