Chapter 9: The First Dissemination
The resultant of unattainable consensus
Translation
Through the five silent nodes, prana climbed up slowly
Whence the rising supreme lamp, entered the crown
As, him and I, truly we merged and enjoyed it immensely
It seemed like, he was there, I was lost and none were there
—Siddhar Sivavakkiyar Song (320)
Macham
was inexplicably attracted by the maiam, as though, an unseen force, revolved around the bunch of trees, at the center of maiam, powered by the ever flowing, cosmic
energy, a giant vortex, ready to suck everything, in and around its periphery, also
pulled him magnetically towards the hub of the maiam, even the immeasurable
time and space seemed to standstill at the center of the vortex, why not let
the lamp, the God within yourself, merge with the supreme eternal light, through
the whorl called a vortex. His heart throbbed, as they neared it, the amplitude of the
pull kept growing higher and higher, he felt a hard rush surge in him, wanted
to run towards one of the stone benches; lie on it flat; stretch his hands apart;
caress the grounds below; allow the coolness, press gently against his stiff
back, seasoned by heat and fatigue, levied during the steep, coarse, downhill
walk, that would better invigorate him than the long waiting, royal food prepared by
his host, but then it would demote not only Sarutha’s care, but Macham’s word
too, so he complied with the simple laws of society and followed Killivalavan.
Knowingly ignoring, three pairs
of eyes watching them closely from the backyard, they went to the pond,
opposite their hut; soaked themselves in the cool water, till they were
satisfied; dissipated stench, fatigue and heat as much the water would bear to take;
washed themselves clean enough for a good, tranquil sleep; allowed the soft breeze
to kiss the fragile droplets of water, hanging loose on their body. Then they slowly
gathered themselves, with their wet clothes. Moist body, they walked towards
the hut, approached Sarutha, waiting for them with a beamish smile, right, of the doorstep, below the hanging lamp. They got from her, each a pair of fresh,
clean dhotis to change into, dried their wet ones on the veranda and wound
around the fresh ones. Killivalavan went inside the hut, Adhavan sat on the
Veranda, wrapped the additional dhoti over his torso, eased on the wall and
relaxed; left leg folded inside, heels lightly touching the right buttocks; left-hand
let loose balancing the body, palms flat on the floor to the left side of the
body; right leg bent forward, heels touching the top of the left foot, right at
the joint; right arm let loose with its elbow over the right knees, palm
downwards, thumb touching the sides of the index finger at its tip; steadily
gazing at the ripples of the pond subsiding gradually on its own. Sounds of the
calm night fueled his growing stillness along with the intense, but empty
gaze. His breath condensed and the lap between the takes, increased unaware of,
without exertion of will, the ringing in his ears grew louder and slowly turned
into a humming, his gaze unshaken, but again empty, clouded the moon, along
with the ripples into a dense web of the inner whorl that stretched and touched
the moon. Sarutha looked at him, didn’t want to disturb his inner serenity, went
inside the hut silently, without a word. In a few minutes of time, Mathivathani
came out with a mug of hot water, placed it before him and requested him to join them
for supper. Adhavan looked at her, nodded with an almost untraceable faint
smile. He sipped the water kept before him. Though he wasn't hungry, to please
their host, especially Sarutha, he joined them all for a hearty supper.
Insides of the hut were filled with
golden hue sprayed by the lamps hanging from the sides of the walls, rooms were
busy with people going in and coming out, the space was filled with their voices,
the sounds they made seemed to raise with every passing moment, he saw many
sorts of things, people known to one another, indulge in, when they are under
one roof. There were these incessant talking, high pitched laughs, friendly
fights, interesting games, emotional songs, dirty jokes, soft music, long notes
of whistles, endless gossips, etc. went around, unhampered at every corner of
the hut, while few of them were getting ready to serve the line of diligently
prepared food items by well experienced hands that had fed many bellies in the
past. There were more heads and more women than he had seen the previous night when he was here, some who were not there for the family get together, have shown up
tonight, he even doubted if they were of the same family, rather letting his inquisitive
mind worry about the unknown faces, he let it drift away and became still,
amidst those shrieks of cries and laughter, heard much in big friendly social
gatherings, very soon that inherent silence encompassed everyone, people were
quietened by it, except few, who were uncomfortable with it, resisted it, tried
to break it with their serious talks, the ones they could hardly pull anymore dialects from
the dense crowd, but somehow managed to keep talking. For sure, words have
spread around, Mathivathani and Sarutha have done a good job, leaving a lot of
room for individual imaginations. Adhavan smiled, those were the people who
have come to see him specifically, who yearned to know more about his
experiences with Macham, than about him, but who pretended, as though they were
least interested about it and may go even to the extent of demeaning it. He was
able to read their minds. He can’t help laughing at the trick, their minds were
playing with them, that will take them further away from attaining spiritual
experiences, if they acknowledge Adhavan, to have been bestowed with deep spiritual
experiences, he may become arrogant, he may think of himself as God, he may winnow
out the experienced and the inexperienced, the good and the bad, worse, he may
expose their inadequacy on the human mind, body and soul expect for their
bookish and native knowledge through which they have earned their place in the
society. Cunningly, their talks were all about trade, politics, society,
inventions, science, medicine and general well being, if he intervenes with
talks on God, they may flout him. On the other hand, they were so arrogant to hide
the truth, especially that it was given to an eighteen year old kid without
education, knowledge, family, social status, trade and the worst, a kid without God, not even an ideology of his own. They can’t stand to see the world knowing the
truth through him, either they should get their own experiences and say it before he would
start talking openly or should prove to the world that he is wrong, futile and
inexperienced. Adhavan understood perfectly, they are not here to talk about God;
they don’t have the slightest intention in seeking him; they are here to
safeguard their positions in the society, especially what they stand for, their
beliefs, their trade and their social status. Adhavan is a threat to all they
dearly hold on to them. His sheer presence has invoked a survival fear in them. More,
he dug into it, he found only layers of debris after debris, covered and underexposed by the pristine head bands and glittering ornaments, their dishonesty to
their self was so disgusting and unappealing that he had to immediately pull
himself out from the short reverie he was thrown into. He looked at
Killivalavan, hoped he would take him into the stone benches before these men pounce
on him.
Sarutha called out, requested all
of them to have supper, in less than a few seconds, the kids formed a neat row,
with their backs facing the sides of the walls, they sat side by side leaving
some space to freely move their arms around. They have neatly cut, many long
blades of banana leaves into three splits, rinsed them in the cold water, segregated
them based on their sizes, piled them into small, small bundles less than the
size of the arm. Leaves from the piles of the small ones were spread before the
kids. Aged men grouped opposite them, formed another row facing the children,
left a comfortable eight foot distance between the rows, for the women folk to
come and serve food. Leaves from the piles of the big ones were spread before
the older men. Prior to serving food, cups of hot water were placed before each
one of them, pinch of salt was placed at the right end of the leaf. Then it all
started, like a line of ant, one after another they came out with different
food items, each filled their premeditated spot on the leaf, over the course of
time the food over flew, but the line never seems to end. The courses consisted
of five different boiled cereals; rice; maize; barely; millet and oat followed
by ragi adais, wheat rotis, chick pea curry, dry peas curry, chick pea gravy,
lentil porridge, dried beans salad, roasted groundnut, deep fired yams, boiled
roots, big scoops of curd, butter, and ghee, few pieces of honey dipped jack
fruits stuffed with a smash of ripened guavas and sweetened bananas. The vessels
in which they carried the food items were mainly made of earthen clay and a few
copper utensils, the whole process was neatly streamlined, each one of them took
care of one item and they served it meticulously, always alert and looking out
for who might need it, they were all well synchronized, they acted like puppets,
for the string puller who was somewhere inside the kitchen, there wasn’t any confusion
or traffic jam, not even once. Adhavan was spellbound by the food extravaganza,
on seeing the kid and men savor the food, he was left aghast with a filled belly,
even if the food was forced down his throat, he doubted, if he could swallow any
bit of it, it was like they all ate on his behalf. He walked straight to the
kitchen, the women bowed their heads and gave way, met Sarutha near a boiling
pot, the only one who could understand him, said in a low voice, “I saw them all
devouring the food, it must taste really good, but I don’t think I can swallow
even a bit of it. I feel like I have had multiple rounds of food, so...”
Sarutha interrupted, “Today is the first birthday of Merunindravalavan, my eighteenth
grandson, fifth son of my fifth son Nedunenkilli.” for which he replied, “Ok,
let me have a ragi adai with a bit of honey.” Saying that he left back to the
main hall where the food was being served.
Once the kid and the older men
had enough, they walked out to wash their hands, Punguzali, collected the
banana leaves on which the food was spread along with the leftovers, dumped it out
in the garbage lying outside the hut, even for this, a person was assigned, no
one indulged in another one’s task, by that time, Kayalvizi was sent to Adhavan,
with a silver plate that had two honey dipped ragi adais and a few pieces of
stuffed jack fruits, she came almost close to him, but her hands started
trembling, afraid she might drop the plate, she ran back into the kitchen
handed over the plate to Mathivathani. She came forward and gave the plate to
him, he accepted it with a half-smile, though her heart was pounding inside,
she was well composed and could hide her nervousness, well behind her beautiful, charming
smile, from that moment on, for anything to do with Adhavan, the girls pushed Mathivathani
forward, that immediate moment from the dark corners of the well lit main hall,
a coarse voice said, “This is what I don’t like.” Adhavan knew the line was shot
at him, all this time he was being watched, his every move was being noted, he
can feel those eyes still on him, he asked himself, “Why?” He looked down at that
silver plate and sighed, “Is it for this piece of plate made of silver? Or is
it, they were asked to eat from banana leaves and he was given with a silver
plate? Or is it the distinction as such?” The thoughts troubled him, on the
first hand, he never wanted to have a supper, now it would be very difficult
for him to force the food down his throat, the words pricked him, they were
inside his throat, holding it tight, trying to stop him from eating, his eyes
watered, if he gives back the silver plate and the food it would dishonor
Sarutha, that is equivalent to transferring the pain inflicted by the evil words
on her, it would be the most insane thing he can let those stupid words do to him, he
realized a good heart, should not be hurt by the caprices of an evil intention, so
he decided to have the food as a sign of acceptance, to make sure the words of
envy shot at him, doesn’t hurt another beautiful heart that God dwells in, who have
honored his presence by feeding him with silver plates and most importantly not
to let those rotten words get anywhere in between the sacred relationship
he is having with Macham’s family. He also realized, it is not only the sign of
respect, bestowed on him for the spiritual state he was given with, but an
expression of deep love and affection, the family had for him, so he chewed
both the sweetness of the food and the bitterness of the words, one for his taste
buds, another for his heart.
Out on the veranda, older men
grouped together and started chewing betel leaves along with fine grained arcea
nuts and a pinch of slaked lime placed on a round silver plate. They leisurely
enjoyed the essence of the trio; chewed it well; sucked it hard; traced the
passing vapor, with all their senses beyond the rooftop of their mouth. It was
the right time for the gossip-mongers to spread the fabricated news and the twisted
stories, as though, they saw it all with their own eyes and heard it with their
own ears. They enjoyed it more than anything else in this world, especially the
raw gossips about women, it gave them such a heart rendering satisfaction, that
they added additional flavor to it, every time they retold the same story again
and again, with a bit of personal versioning owing to the likes and dislikes of
the fishes baited, so the preys who got hooked to the story unknowingly, gave
their open view on it, which was later professionally seasoned and added to the
threads of the original gossip, as commentaries by experts of the field. They
were so skilled in it, they can make a whole family pack and leave their home
town, running for their lives with their tongue twisted stories, throughout the
history they are known for this expert, indisputable skill of making a grand truth
disappear into the thin air and materialize a beautiful fake story out of the
same, this they do without remuneration, then just imagine the potential they
could unleash if they are paid for such delicate, diplomatic jobs. In those wretched,
lie packed mouths, the evenings, the hot topic was, “Who is Adhavan?”
Adhavan somehow forced the food
inside, washed his hands, had few mugs of hot water and then moved out to the
Veranda, to ease the night’s burden, but to his surprise, he found it packed with
the assembly of gossip-mongers and their frail preys, he bit his tongue and corrected his thought process, it
is the assembly of elderly gentlemen and high bred, motherly old ladies. He
knew if he remains there for a few more minutes, he would face unwanted,
awkward, miserable questions, answering them won’t be problematic, but will
they stand the truth they can see in each of his replies? Will they ever talk to
him again? Will it disgrace Macham and his family? So to avoid such
embarrassing situations he could foresee, he went back into the hut, found
Killivalavan heartily enjoying his supper, along with his adorable sisters, knelt
behind his back and whispered in his ears, “Will wait for you in the Maiam.” Saying
so, he disappeared through the backyard, washed his hands, armpit, legs and
face from the cool water, brimming in the well, plucked handful of jasmine about to blossom, smelling it trotted
towards the Maiam.
The stone benches were cold, lying
on them, he looked up at the stars, he started counting the stars in vain, but
it eased its pain, he almost forgot the small incident that happened back home
during supper, now his pain looked smaller than the smallest star in the skies,
losing the count, he started looking for the smallest star, rattling of branches
disturbed his seeking process too, followed by the distant voice, he recognized
the voices, they belong to the big shots who came to the supper and in it there
was this owner of the voice who said, “This is what I don’t like?”, Adhavan
sighed “Ah.” Why does Killivalavan bring them to him? It is the frothing trouble,
coming across to greet you. He was on the verge of losing his composure, he
felt like running into the distant wilderness, across the Venmudiyar hills,
where no one can find him again, but then, in a fraction of seconds, a magical
spell took over him, he was in a deep trance, he was lying with his hands folded
across his chest and legs crisscrossed, over the stone bench, he heard that
deep, masculine, reverberating voice, the one he heard, when he was having
roots with Macham on a night like this, it said,
“Fear not speaking the truth, for if thy not speak, who hath will, thy
will talk what thy have seen. If questioned, we will talk through thee, incredibly
forceful, in their own nasty tongue and uncouthly style. Wake up and discourse.”
Adhavan woke up to see, five men
sitting on the ground before him in a circle, Killivalavan was sitting on the
stone bench, next to his feet, earnestly looking at the wilderness ahead, as
though he could see the plains behind it. When they realized, he was awake, their
voices raised, and they started discussing much more seriously. Adhavan felt
himself to be wider than the spreading woods, taller than the hovering trees,
bigger than the sturdy mountains, much more sensuous than the peacock feather. He
was able to connect to everything in and around him, he heard that distant howling
of the wild dogs, hooting of the owls, bleating of the lamps; soft ripples of the
pond, opposite to Macham’s hut; the warmth of the big lamp on the six foot
pillar, in the tiger cave; the texture of the palm script, which had Roma Rishi’s
‘Theshai’; the fragrance of sandalwood ash at Vipuruthi Ammal’s samadhi,
Killivalavan whispered in Adhavan’s ears, “Amma wanted you to meet with them,
so I didn’t have a choice, than bringing them here.” Out before him, he saw a pack
of wild, troubled kids who have never grown out of pleasure driven materialistic lives; misused
their free will; lived an unjust, immoral, disgusting life; hiding a deep fear
of rebuke, pretended to be good, so to make their deities happy and content,
infact as a penance for their evil doings they started to do deliver goodness to
the selected small groups of the big growing societies, but politicized them as
good deeds they are naturally endured with.
Though they are the ones who came
to see him, it looked so, they will not greet him and steer the course of
discussion, rather they expected him to come and talk to them, he was looked
down as inferior to them, without any background, social status and a living to
make, so Adhavan stepped down and approached them, Killivalavan followed him, soon,
the circle grew wider and encompassed seven people into it. Killivalavan
started introducing each of the men, one by one. Mathurarayar was 52 years old,
chieftain of Malainadu, the plains nearby the place Adhavan came from; Poncetuceni
was 47 years old, Senathipathi of Venthar’s third army where his fifth brother,
Nedunenkilli was posted, whose fifth son Merunindravalavan’s first birthday was
celebrated today, who knew well, the secrets of Sarutha’s origin, was also related
distantly by blood, has given, one of the most trusted jobs to her well
deserved, fifth son, Nedunenkilli; Athiperunar was 39 years old, very famous astrologist,
known for his predictions, even the horoscopes of the royal descendants was written and predicted by him; Patabiraman, 48 years old, well educated man, a
scholar of many disciplines, who by heart can recite all four Vedas, the most
revered and feared in his circle for his in-depth knowledge of their holy scriptures;
Yuvaninathan, 72 years old, Merchant of all goods, whatever you name them, it will
be brought to you, either it be from Persia or it be from China. They all seemed
to be great men by their accomplishments through which they have established
themselves and have earned their families a hard-earned, good reputation.
This is going to be one hectic
task, in short words, they have come to prove their supremacy to Adhavan, who
never tried to pose a threat to them, unlike him, they considered his sheer
presence to pose risks to their stature and that needs to be mitigated
immediately. To be plain, it’s not about God, what they wanted to talk about,
owing to their overpowering financial success and social status, they blatantly
assumed, that they know God, better than what Adhavan did. Something inside him, told him, that he is going to use extensively abusive force to impregnate, thick, dirt-bound, multi-layered, solidified debris, to touch their poor souls. The
group remained silent for some time, hesitantly, Adhavan asked, “For what have you
come to meet me?”
For which, Patabiraman, replied,
“No, we didn’t come to meet you, by the by, who are you?”
Adhavan replied, “Thanks, if you
have not come to meet me, then why should you know about me, Well, I will take
leave.”
Poncetuceni said, “Please sit,
these guys are trying to mock you, it is a simple, generic test to understand, what
type of guy you are, your patron Sarutha has requested us to meet you. So we all
came here.”
Adhavan knew both Patabiraman and
Poncetuceni are liars, so he replied earnestly, “Why did Sarutha wanted all of
you to come and meet me?”
Athiperunar sarcastically said,
“May be you are the Sun’s incarnation, so she must have asked us to go and get
your blessings.”
Killivalavan was losing his
patience, he can’t stand his friend being insulted, but didn’t interfere as it
may insult Adhavan, while he was doing the talking.
Adhavan smiled and said, “Did
Sarutha say so?”
Yuvaninathan said impudently,
“Yes.”
Adhavan smiled again and said,
“Do you all trust Sarutha?”
Mathurarayar, said, “Yes. Of
course, we all trust Sarutha.”
Adhavan replied,
“Yes, I do trust her, but I don’t
trust any of you, you are all elderly people whose every second costs, you
didn’t come here, because Sarutha wanted you all to come, rather you
all used that as an excuse to come and check out for yourselves. What do you
expect to see in an eighteen year old guy? You could have easily declined
Sarutha, with your polished lies, why then did you all come here? You have just come
to see me, only me, which you are not able to accept to yourselves. It hurts
your ego. You are all dishonest, so none of you are trustworthy, now you tell me, what do you want to know about me? And why do you really want to know? If your
questions lack truth my answers too will reflect the same. A sincere question
will be given with sincere answer.”
Killivalavan gasped, his jaws
dropped, his fingers went over his lips, Adhavan will not need any help rather
it is these men who will need some terrible help. Adhavan has already started
to tear them apart.
They group must have been bitten
hard, with his words, they recoiled, the brains have been tinged, they will try
to insult him, it seemed like, each one was preparing a string of well planned questions
and statements to shoot him through, Patabiraman started the next round, “We do
expect the same honesty from you. Did Macham show you God in the Tiger caves? What
was it like?”
Adhavan replied, “Who told you
what happened between me and Macham in the Tiger caves? What made you presume that
I saw God? What made you think that Macham opened my eyes and made me see God?
And the worst, how do you know what I saw was the same God, that you have
imagined in your minds?”
Patabiraman carefully said, “The
whole village knows it and they have been talking about it.”
Adhavan replied, “That again is
an over smart, delusive, dishonest reply.”
Poncetuceni hastily said, “Ok. No
one told us. We overheard people talking about you greatly, like men who have
fought great wars, especially female folks. They talk dear about you. May be,
we are not sure about God, if you can tell us about your experiences, we can get
a picture about it and relate it to our scriptures.”
Adhavan replied, “Thanks, I see
the truth in it, based on the hearsay, you have come here, seeking for the
clarity of the information you have heard so far.”
Patabiraman replied, “Exactly,
that is what, I was trying to say. I only didn’t get the right words.”
Adhavan said, “Now you are not sincere,
you came to test me, if I am so, or to be more precise, you came to mock me,
insult me and overpower me.”
Mathurarayar vehemently opposed,
“Come on. We are not of that type. Why are you being so silly and childish?
Can’t you talk about it like an adult?”
Adhavan sternly uttered, “Is it
the right time for me to say, ‘This is what I don’t like?’”
Mathurarayar was dumbfounded, he
exactly replied the same sentence, he uttered, when the silver plate was given
to Adhavan. While he was trying to gather his shattered wits, Athiperunar sarcastically
said,
“Do you want all of us to fall to
your feet and beg you to share the truth with us?”
Adhavan replied, “That again is a dishonest reply.”
Yuvaninathan yelled,
“You arrogant, spoilt, little
brat, what makes you think you are better than all of us. You are just nothing,
but a piece of shit. What is your experience in this world? You are one spineless
creature who begged at Macham’s feet for a few pieces of, thrown away bones. God
is so big, formless, all dwelling in nature, why should he act through a clumsy
kid like you? He is so great, he can act on his own, he doesn’t need anyone’s help.
I bloody don’t need a mediator to talk to him, nor a Guru to help me find God. I
will never fall to a man’s foot, whatever may be the reason be, I won’t suck his
cock to help me see God. I am not a lame, dumb person. I have gained enough
Knowledge of all the worlds...”
As he was talking, Adhavan broke
into a heavenly laughter that roared to the great heights of the dark skies.
Killivalavan recognized that laugh, it looked very similar, to the way his
father use to roar sometimes.
Adhavan yelled back, “So if your
arm and legs fail you, you will go suck someone’s cock, uh, for getting things
done?” And he continued,
“The very fact you said God is
big is the fattest lie one could say, because you have not seen God, you have
not experienced it, that is the fact and that is the truth, how then can you
measure something that is not measurable? But you are making such an open foolish
comment on what you have not experienced. That too about a very sensitive
subject, God, How dare you talk so, to the one who have experienced it? Go and
expose your arrogance, born out of extensive worldly, bookish knowledge to the
ones who are willing to buy it, not to the ones who have experienced the truth and
gained practical knowledge about it. Next, you neither need a mediator nor a
guru, the despicable fact behind it is, your soul is stinking, worse than the
rotten shit and even Guru of gurus can’t help you from the miserable condition
you have thrown yourself into. Gurus are needed only for people who are there
in the last stages of their first spiritual transformation, not for the ones who
have not even framed the idea of starting their own spiritual journey. Gurus
push you further and further into that elusive deep climax, help you to reach
an unseen, incomparable, greater heights. You are not even within the arena of
spiritual realms, why then talk about Guru? First go and purify your stinking
soul, then we will all together, talk about the God, not about the beliefs born
out of would be God, copied from your scriptures. Why did you bed with your
wife, God is so big and he is an almighty, you could have asked him to give you
children directly without you being a mediator, why then did you bed with your
beloved wife? Why did you enter her?”
Athiperunar interrupted abruptly,
“You are too arrogant, you fucked up, wretched kid, no man in his good mind, will
talk to such an elderly person like this.”
Adhavan snarled back, “Why not
when a 72 year old man, curse an eighteen year old boy as ‘arrogant, spoilt,
little brat’?"
Tears rolled down the eyes of
Yuvaninathan, he started whimpering like a child. Adhavan broke into heavenly
laughter again, then he stopped altogether suddenly, looked at Yuvaninathan and
ordered all of them to remain silent.
For a momentary pause, his gaze
was fixed at the dark skies; chillness engulfed him; sweet unidentifiable
fragrance filled his lungs. He was able to feel the rush of energy in his spine;
he was aroused; his body grew tense; it bent backwards like a bow. He slowly
straightened his body and said, “Let me talk” His voice sounded deeply
masculine and enchanting for his age. He then continued,
“Right now, I am inside the whorl,
the cloudy, revolving, concentric lights, through which I could reach the eternity and see
the God that you all talk about, but know not. I could pass through it any
moment, and I may choose not to come back if I am so determined and I have no
commitments. The very first time you travel this whorl, it is purely a life or death
dip, aftermath, which, the whole fragile world you have built so conservatively,
from the very fine day you were born, will be demolished mercilessly, crushed heavily
and grilled into pieces that you won’t even recognize. Then the revolving whorl spits you
out as a newborn being, your past identity has been completely erased, well, you can call that wretched state as the enlightenment of mind; the culmination of
transformation; apex of mind; eruption of salvation, whichever way you want
to call it, aftermath which, everything disintegrates, the society, its norms, worldly
things, things that the world considers as something very natural, its social
order, etc. Do you see the holistic view of the total chaos, the society is in, subjected
to countless religions, cults, sects, perverted, prejudice-driven doctrines,
substitutes of the grand truth for which there can never be a substitution,
each outrageously campaign, that theirs is the best for an unseen, unheard,
unknown truth, they themselves have never experienced about, but fancy talking
about, perform hourly poojas, give away homilies, heal mind and body, but pity,
know not the form of the formless, the supreme eternal light that has always been
there from the day one this universe existed, it is the same for the first
human, it is the same for both male and female, every time I see it, it is the
same, will be the same, will always remain the same, these God fucking religions,
fucked up manifestos, screwed up truths; raped its innocence, shitted on its face
and says that this is ‘the truth’, as though it was created by them, whereas
the God older than the oldest grape is still the same, it could never be
created nor be destroyed, from the day one it remains the same, it is the grand
truth. Pathetic is the situation, tomorrow one more religion will sprout and
say my God is better than your God, there is no other God other than me, my God
has not come yet, we are waiting for our God to come and redeem us, he will
bring us joy and prosperity, the whole unfathomable fucked up truths. First of
all, when did the first God die? He is still there alive and sound. Of course, he
is dead to you, when you fancied, perverted, hot, skanky night with a mistress God
that led to the official divorce with the first God, so the list of mistress Gods,
kept going on and on. Now the count is so much, it would compete with the count
of stars on a clear night, you just killed the old God, conveniently built a
new one that adapted to your new needs and nodded through the scriptures you
created for your own selfish benefits, every thousand years once, you shameless
men created a new God or a God idea thus killing all the old ones, the God of all
created Gods has simply ceased to exist, because you can’t fancy it any more.
The solemn truth is, it is alive and still the same, untainted by load and
loads of fetal matter you have thrown at it, mixed with worse things than that,
such as unending false promises, life saving launching ceremonies of the religions
and enough of urinated garbage, still the whorl is untouched, pure it remains
the same, will unquestionably remain the same. The solemn grand truth is older
than the oldest Gods, our mankind saw it some 50,000 years before, then why
not fuck around, creating a new grandiose God, because you are pleased with your old,
sumptuous all holy mistress Gods. Get back to your roots, the root is within
you, dwell in that vortex, die and see the truth for yourself, nonetheless,
nonethemore. The grand truth older than 50,000 years is the same, will remain
the same whether you eat steak or pork; whether you adore an idol or mental
concepts; whether you work on Sundays or rob on Tuesdays; whether you cheat your
wife or your customers; whether you say there is ‘no God’ or there is one God
or there are many Gods; whether you have one wife; more wives or no wife; whether
you shit or you eat your shit; it is the same, truth that was there 50,000 years
before, it is neither the God created by man nor the ‘no God’ created again by
man; it is neither the single God created by men nor the multi Gods created by
man; it is neither the formless God created by men nor the God with form created
by men again. The truth remains the same, indisputably, solemnly,
overwhelmingly the same as it existed the first time it was seen by mankind.”
There was a momentary pause
again, Adhavan closed his eyes, his back arched back again, Killivalavan helped
him to sit erect and Adhavan continued, “So gentlemen, what else do you like to
know?”
Patabiraman earnestly asked, “How
did you get to see the vortex?”
Adhavan smiled like a child
caught during a mischief, he said, “I begged and wooed my Guru, to give me that earlier
than it was scheduled to happen, he got to me through Macham, like he got to all
of you through me, today. He and I, became one, we made love spiritually, man to
man love-making, there wasn’t this ‘I’ and ‘you’, we merged, the thing in me, started
seeing whatever he was seeing at that moment, so I came to realize the
supreme eternal light through him. He has shown me the path, the path of the light,
now it is upto me to climb up and see for myself, whenever I want to.”
Athiperunar rushed, “Who is your
Guru?”
Adhavan opened his eyes and
looked at him, “Your intentions are not good, so I will give you only a
generalized reply. All siddhars are my Gurus.”
Mathurarayar intervened, “What
wrong did you find in his intention?”
Adhavan was not able to withstand
the heavy spiritual booze, he was swaying back and forth rhythmically, he
pulled himself straight and uttered, “He doesn’t like me, he wants to bypass
me, seek my guru, fall to his feet, get better off me, and then come back and
teach me a lesson. He wants to teach me humbleness. His bad attitude, is accusing
me, of having a bad attitude. He wants to show everyone here, that he is better
than me. He wants to compete with me, defeat me and prove me wrong without even
knowing, what I am actually talking about. It’s disgusting to know that he is
not interested in knowing God, but only interested in proving me wrong. So
pathetic and miserable...”
Athiperunar protested, “No, not
at all, don’t accuse me, I Just wanted to see your Guru, that’s all.”
Adhavan laughed again and said,
“What will you go and tell him? That Sarutha has sent you to meet him, uh?”
Laughing, he continued, “If you find him, please let me know. I will come and
catch hold of that bloody old man.”
All five laughed at that reply,
they all eased a bit, Adhavan, rested on Killivalavan’s lap and dozed off. Two
of the five men, Poncetuceni and Patabiraman approached Adhavan, touched his
feet, touched their hearts, bowed to him and left towards Macham’s hut, when
they touched his feet Adhavan’s right cheek tweaked. Other three grouped and
conspired against him, when they were talking about him, Adhavan’s right ear tweaked. Now, on the way back, three will convince two and the two will
convince the three. All five together will never come to an agreement. Knowing
this ahead, Adhavan entered a peaceful sleep.
This time, Killivalavan didn’t
get the chance to make bed for Adhavan, which he bribed it out from Punguzali with his share of stuffed, honey-dipped, Jack fruits. They all loved Adhavan, except
for few troubled heads who knew to live only with their heads.
(To be continued...)
Written on Dates: 03/25;03/26;03/27;03/28/2015
Chapter 1 The Realization of the Vocation
Chapter 2 The First Glimpse of the Third Eye
Chapter 3 The Complete Surrender
