Chapter 25: The Onset of Routine Life
Indeed, they have, they had, and it is possible
Translation
You are energy, you are mercy,
you are the sound of the vibrating conch
You are action, you are god,
you are the letter ‘Shivayam’
You are salvation, you are
the origin, you are the singular form all three gods
The divine lamp is within, know
and sense it by yourself
—Siddhar Sivavakkiyar Song (241)
The moon revolves around the earth. The earth revolves around the sun. The sun revolves around a Galaxy. We human beings whom do we revolve around? Aren’t we then revolving around the Sun? Have you ever felt it? Have you ever witnessed ourselves revolving around the Sun? Have you? Have you ever sensed it? If not, why? Why we are not able to sense it? Why? Since we have not sensed it, can we foolishly state that we are not actually revolving around the sun, rather sun is revolving around us? Can we? Is it the truth? Doesn’t it make us question the very basics of one’s existence? Doesn’t it? So can we enquire our mind honestly, over its very basic understandings, without any accumulated assumptions and notions? Can we? Can we, in such a way annihilate all our notions and see the world fresh again, without the debris of old stinking piled up thoughts? Can we? Can we, that way, see for ourselves the inner beauty of the divinity within? Can we? Along with it, can we also listen to the overpowering sound of the universe? Can we? Can we see it without any preformed notions formed by our own mind that screen the truth and hinder us from seeing the absolute truth in its own grand nakedness? Can we? Can we see beyond the complex set of highly heuristic cloud of complex thoughts, crowding and shrouding, the divine lamp within, unknowingly? Can we? Can we see through it? Is this seeing, a belief? Is it trying? Is it just a presupposition? Is it imagination? Is it a hallucination? Is it not just seeing? So, can your consciousness behold the sight of such blossoming, royal, universal, majestic truth? Can it? Can we rightfully see the flowering of the white lotus and the solemn sprouting of the divine lamp within? Can we? Can we see the spontaneous sprouting of the upright honesty within ourselves? Can we? If we have seen once, then can we start seeing it daily? Can we? Can we then prolong it, and be on it, in a routine basis? Can we? Is it not possible? Haven’t siddhars lived that way, amidst all their day-to-day activities? Haven’t they? Indeed, they have, they had, and it is possible. So, why can't we?
After Macham vanished into thin air that night, Balaraman and Muthupandian eased themselves on the hard grounds, under the shades of a neem tree, caressed by the soft breeze, kissed and sent across by the ever beautiful moon, playing hide and seek among the racing dark clouds, moving stealthily among them, in pursuit of exposing its pellucid beauty, indeed, was an overwhelming, sensuous gratification, a royal treat to the hearts of the great men, who have lost everything in their life, but have found a great solace in Siddhar Macham and his ways, and so, have happily dedicated their lives, for a greater cause, a global one, in pursuit of divinity, on the other hand, the innate beautiful nature of the moonlit night, the eye-catching patterns of ever emerging dark clouds and the extravagant display of the bright stars also lured Adhavan into a deep contemplation, who has willingly thrown away everything in his life, in pursuit of truth, in pursuit of divinity, and have finally found comfort within himself, and have happily dedicated his life for a global cause, a greater one, without even knowing what the cause was, and for whom he has dedicated his life for; such a man’s grand thoughts, for the night were:
“How do these things always happen without fail? Who controls the sun and the moon? Who? How do they appear on every night, on every morning, as expected? Either it be a full moon or a new moon, have they ever failed in their routine? Have they? If for one day, just for one day, if they have failed, what would have happened? Just imagine, just for one second, if they have failed, if the earth has failed revolving around the sun, if the moon has failed revolving around the earth, what would have happened? What chaos it would have created? How do these things, these celestial objects, though they are far apart from one another, yet intricately coexist and work so harmoniously, in tune with one another, they act so well, so synchronized, to an extent, one can’t help appreciating its incredible, awe-inspiring, mind-blowing conspiracy, how? How does it all happen? How well balanced their motions are, in fact, even if one of them either stop their movement or act erratic, it would disrupt the whole chain of events, for sure, it may even lead to a total disaster, an annihilation of the whole universe, even in such cases, these celestial bodies, irrespective of their size, revolving speed, nature, etc., and the corresponding distance between them and their center, they still exist, and act together harmoniously, well balanced, how? Still, amidst such intricate complexities, have they ever been disharmonious? Have they? If so, we human being made of the same phenomena, matter and form that already exist in the universe, don’t we interact with one another, in a similar way, unknowingly, involuntarily? But do we act harmoniously like them, leave alone the occasional meteors and comets, the inevitable accidents? Do we? Much like the celestial bodies, aren’t our consciousness connected with one another, even if we exclude, cause and effect cycles, don’t we interact in such pure ways that are behind human manipulations and influences? Have we ever sensed it? Have we ever sensed the truth of our coexistence, our spiritual drives, and our innate urges that are beyond comprehension? Have we?”
Adhavan stopped for a moment, admired the beauty the night had to offer, and then started again, talking to himself in silence:
“Do I act upon my own, or am I here because of grand master Atri? Am I being influenced or trapped into doing something that I don’t want to do? But then, if they are so powerful, why should they need me at all, to do what I am doing now, they can very well do it by themselves? Won’t they? Then, why did they choose me? Why? Is it a promise that I need to keep? Is it because of my previous birth? Am I here for finishing an unfinished Job? On the first hand, is rebirth true? Who can order me to do what I am supposed to do? Is it not against one’s free will? What binds me to do something that I really don’t know anything about? How could I be expected to get into something that I haven’t had my hands on? How? Is it the caution given by Siddhar Macham that is making me question every basic thing that I believed in before hand? Is the light and sound that I see and hear, are they real attributes of the God? Is the divine lamp that I see, is it God? My goodness gracious, just a caution about pain has made me rethink the whole of my earlier understanding and question every bit of it ruthlessly? Am is so fickle minded? Is god a concept or a living truth? If it is a concept, isn't not equivalent to saying that it is fake? Have I not felt it myself? Have I not seen the supernatural potential within me? Have I not seen myself in absolute nakedness, stripped of one’s body, in all its due grandeur? Have I not seen my soul? Have I not seen the Parabrahmam? Have I not seen the lamp within myself? Have I not felt the energy flowing out through my body? Have I not? Ah! Oh! My God! Why do you test my patience? Are these movements, insights and senses, are they just concepts? Then, what the hell are they? If they are attributes of god, then obviously I am god, because I control it, I control its movement, I order them, I own them? Am I not? Don’t I? Is it truth, or is it arrogance? But still, have I mastered its flow, and actions borne out of that flow, with full authority and complete control, so to say, can I unleash, or focus in, all my energy this very moment, if I want to? Can I? Then, if so, I would call myself as ‘God’, else I would state that I am becoming a God. Is it arrogance to do so? Is it evil, even to think about becoming a god? Is it wrong, in becoming the one; be one with him, act in tune with him, with complete mastery over oneself? Haven’t siddhars achieved that state? The ultimate transformation every human heart aches for—the complete mastery over oneself, as like the one Siddhar Macham did, he just disappeared right before everyone’s eye into thin air, in full awareness, an explicit expression of the most revered ashtama siddhi, ‘Isathuvam’? Didn’t he, in all due humbleness? Even, he says that grand master Atri is 1000 times better than him? Didn’t he? So can we say that all these siddhars are walking gods? Is it true? Is it so?”
Right at that moment, a loud thunder shook his mind, woke him up from his deep contemplation, a walking embodiment of light approached him, it was pure light, a beautiful, brilliant, dazzling one, he immediately recognized the form, it was the same one he saw in the Peruvazhi along with Sarutha, the one who came with Annai Anushya Devi, in one of his trances, while he was resting on the veranda at Siddhar Macham’s hut, he again was the one who walked the river Nayili, that very day, when he sought the most unsought path, it was none other than the grand master Atri, as he was looking at him mesmerized, in a split second, before he was aware, he was thrown into a deep trance, that which is possible only to an immortal being, it was more like a samadhi, though his eyes were closed, he saw every fine movement in the surroundings, as though his mind was able to witness, wherever his consciousness willed, in whichever direction it looked, the immortal being, the grand master Atri spoke to him, his voice roared that of a Lion:
“I see you to be an honest aspirant, seek not the powers, but the truth, which will be bestowed upon you, at the right time, when you have mastered yourself enough to handle it, in fact, it will happen so spontaneously, naturally, when you have attained that state. You are the God and the God is you, but now, it is just a concept to you, it is better to be an honest man, than fooling yourself into believing a concept and call upon it as God, right now, the truth is; though you have realized yourself, you have not mastered your mind, you are not able to relish the flow of energy fully, and unleash it unhindered as and when asked for, rather than bothering about what you don’t have and what you have not attained, live an honest, sincere, truthful life and live it fully, religiously, completely, in harmony with yourself, one another and the environment, do fulfill your daily, day-to-day chores, stick to your routine life, nothing more is expected from you, you will get an answer for all your unanswered question as a vital, life changing experiences, in a similar way that has been given to you in the past, there isn’t any other better way to learn, than experiences, words can only trigger a mind and ignite the quest, but it is only conscious experiences and a complete self mastery of the same that really helps in attaining one's salvation—a complete practical, understanding borne out of real time, hard core, experiences and self-mastery that tells us right on ones' face that you are in fact the God, ‘The Aham Brahmasmi’, though it is a universal truth, it doesn’t hold good for the ones who have not realized the truth, who have not realized their self and who have not mastered themselves so well, into realizing it any time, any where, any moment. Finally, to tell you the truth, I am not your Guru, he is out there in a very deep samadhi, at venmudiyar hills, only once in a year, on Panguni Uthiram, he comes out of his samadhi, as we have requested him so, to meet his disciples and get together along with them, of whom Siddhar Tiger Paw is the one, who leads them, if by then, you are ready, you will be asked to join, else you may need to wait, from then on, from that glorious moment, your purpose of this life will be disclosed, in his grand presence. Note, he is much purer, holier, and powerful than me, for he has chosen you, not me, not anyone of us, and so he will talk to you, when the time comes. Don’t keep waiting for that moment, let it blossom naturally, focus on your routine life, refine your mind, crystallize it.”
With that Adhavan woke up from the trance, his whole body was set ablaze with fine, extraordinary, exquisite blend of vibrations and subtlety of a serene mind that he has never before experienced, it was such a bliss, then, he saw Grand Master Atri leave north-west, he was almost gliding, he moved faster than the wind, in a split second, he like Siddhar Macham disappeared into thin air, surprised, he turned away, looked back and gazed emptily in the direction of the venmudiyar hills, with a beautiful feeling of belonging, lingering mildly in his heart, enjoying every bit of it, he laid back, admired the gibbous, floating majestically in the clouds filled with the twinkling stars, array of stupid thoughts and clumsy questions didn’t bother him anymore, a sweet sleep took over him, he slept peacefully on the lap of mother nature.
Though he went to bed very late, he woke up very early, in order to get on with his routine life, now he knows, he can’t lead a carefree life that he has been enjoying so long, he has to take up commitments, he has to pretend, to be one among them, if he has to learn about fellow human beings, their societies, their urges, their needs, their cries, their joys, their loves, then, he has to sacrifice his inner harmony, on which he has been thriving upon, rather, he has to move with them, mix with them, cry and laugh along with them, further, in addition, he has to absorb all their turmoils, agonies and ecstasies, else his learning and knowing about life will be nothing but woods, birds, flowers, rivers, ponds, hills, boulders and all fine, delicate beauties of nature alone, but not the living human beings, hence he decided to live a normal human life. As advised by Siddhar Macham, he will spend the mornings with Sarutha, and evenings with Muthupandian, he will continue with this routine until the day he would feel from deep within, to walk away from his social life, bid adieu to all near and dear ones, in good will and in good gesture, and so he decided to avoid any type of deep personal commitments that will hold him back from his spiritual quest, or hurt someone deeply, with that caution in mind, he looked at the world fresh, After that heart warming conversation with grand master Atri, he was able to throw off his troubled thoughts, relaxed, he looked around for his comrades, he heard their faint voices from the gushing stream, they were talking to one another, it gave him a nice feeling, he got up and walked towards them.
After an hour, all three walked towards the laughing hills, they would need lots of materials from pick axes to nails and hammers, to start their humble lives in the forest, which they decide to get from Sarutha, and throughout the way, Balaraman and Muthupandian were talking about making 3 simple huts, 1 for each of them, whereas Adhavan dismissed the idea and said:
“I won’t be needing a separate hut, rather, let us build a big one, which would help us to store materials, weapons, firewoods, tools, timbers, bamboo poles, etc. In addition, it would also provide, not only a temporary shelter for Muthupandian’s kins, but also a good one for the visitors, who might come to see Goddess Makali. You don’t need to worry about me, I would either stay with one of you, or in the storehouse, or even, the veranda at Siddhar Macham’s hut could, well, accommodate me on some nights, so let us not waste time in building a separate hut for me, rather, let us build a big one that would serve many hearts, many purposes.”
They all agreed to it and walked fast, noting down mentally, various spots in the landscape that could act as good sources for the timbers. After a four hours of steady walk, they were standing right before the hut of Siddhar Macham, they looked for him, he wasn’t found anywhere there, they looked for Sarutha, she too wasn’t there, they must have gone to the caves in vasimuni hills, so they took permission from Punguzali and waited for Sarutha in the veranda. It was almost mid-noon, sweat was rolling down Adhavan’s body, so he went to the pond, wiped the dirt and sweat, off his stinking body, relaxed, cool, he made his way back to Siddhar Macham’s hut, leaving the two older men to rest in the veranda, he entered the hut, started calculating when he has to wake up and how fast he has to come, if he has to reach, laughing hills in 3 hours of time after sunrise, then, he should wake up at least an hour before sunrise and should run slowly, steadily with a bit of intermittent rest for 3 hours, then he would be on time as he would want to, he always wanted to be punctual, , as far as punctuality is concerned, there aren’t any compromises to it. He slowly went inside the hut, the girls giggled and whispered along, they were very happy to have him back, he looked for Mathivathani, she wasn’t there, she must have accompanied her father to vasimuni hills. Punguzali pretended herself to be busy, but Adhavan was able to trace lingering guilt on her beautiful face, it was smitten with sorrow, she must have expected him to be really unhappy, enraged, jealous and broken, on the contrary, Adhavan looked very calm and composed, in fact, he was reminded of the incident, only on seeing the guilt, plain on Punguzali’s face, whereas, she must have been emotionally tormented for past two days, over the incident that happened during the full moon festival, wherein, she succumbed to emotional, psychological, survival pressure, that guilt emanated and conspired with her, ignoring all this outer melodrama, which in eyes of Adhavan, are just piles of clumsy, removable emotions, he openly smiled at her, it brightened his charm, his eyes smiled more than his lips, it just ripped open her heart, it was too straight, hard and fast, obviously, it must have hurt her more, he always had acted just opposite to her expectations, her whims, her fantasies, her reasons, her very basic understanding of humankind, he literally toppled her viewpoints, ploys, in a few matters of seconds, just by his queer behaviors, he didn’t fight with her, he didn’t curse her, he didn’t physically abuse her, he didn’t talk behind her back, nothing, nothing at all, it was like, he was not part of the incident at all, that was staged mainly for him, only for him, predominantly to hurt him, on the contrary, not seeing him hurt, did hurt her, badly, very badly, especially, his honest, sincere joyful smile, almost broke her stinking ego and her arrogant disposition, beyond the anguish of her own guilt, the smile did hurt her more, it shattered her ego; which was actually expecting a brutal, outrageous, Adhavan, but the reality failed her miserably. She ignored him and he walked away, unable to fathom her mind, her needs, and her clumsy, stupid ego, he approached Kayalvizi, who was all smiles, dressed in bright colors, he asked her straight, without niceties, in the typical way of Adhavan:
“Do you have any work for me?”
Though Kayalvizi had lot of work to do, she hesitated for a moment and thought deeply about it, if she says that she has some work, Adhavan might either share the work and bury his head deep over it, as he is one sincere, honest dude, else, rather than grabbing this chance to talk to her, he would leave her and go to other girls, as not to disturb her in her work. Thinking of herself as a smart girl, hiding the fact, she had lots of work to do, she told him a plain lie, sincerely hoping that it will make him spend some time with her:
“No. You please sit down. I don’t have any work. I am free.”
The moment she said it, surprised, almost all of the womenfolk turned around and stared at her openly. Adhavan replied straight, fast, without hesitation:
“That is ok. Thanks. Let me go and find some work.”
Kayalvizi was baffled by his reply, before she had time to come up with one another lie, Adhavan left her, he then, earnestly looked at Punguzali, though, he wanted to very much go and talk to her, he hesitated a lot, as he saw in her that pang of hot, rude jealousy and ready to hurt stance, indeed he wanted to help her much, talk to her a lot, and spend ample time with her, but alas, her face was boiling with reddening rage, guilt, frustration and grief, so he silently approached Senthamarai, before he could get anywhere closer to her, she spoke out loud:
“Even, I don’t have any work, but you are welcome to sit near us and watch us doing our work."
Adhavan stood for a moment silently, as he was brooding over what to do next, out of bloom, in a flash, Roma Rishi’s, “Theshai”, appeared in his mind, he went straight to the partition, where he had hid the manuscript, brought it out, sat nearby the side entrance, facing the outside world, enjoying the pleasantness of the day, wherein, the light flooded the garden of flowers, the shining petals and the fresh sprouting buds reflected it furthermore, the pigments of the flowers added color to its wild reflections, thus spellbound by overwhelming light and beauty, Adhavan read the first verse, he contemplated on each word and its formation, it talked in large, about how to awaken the soul? How to touch it? How to invoke the dormant internal energy? How to infuse a person’s mind and seed aspirations? How to love a human being? Slowly, he let the those beautiful, constructive thoughts, sink into him, it did spread its wings and encompassed him warmly, soon the meaning permeated deep into his pellucid mind, he allowed it to take over him, a genuine warmth suffused him, slowly, unaware, he was thrown into a deep trance, his body leaned over the sides, his head rested on the jamp. An hour must have gone by, when he was woken up by Senthamarai for lunch, he felt like a new born baby, the world looked fresh, everything seemed to look anew, he seemed very different, he looked at all those womenfolk, they all just looked like strangers, he stared emptily into Senthamarai’s eyes, she must have been taken off guard, unable to decipher the meaning behind his stare, she left him, asking him to join for lunch, slowly he came to a ground to the earth, realization from the spiritual haven he was thrown into. He looked at the manuscript in his hand, it had no more use to him, as he knew, all of it has been transferred into him spiritually, in a very short notice, by Siddhar Roma Rishi. He was in such a deep trance, the whole world looked afresh when he woke up, slowly everything fell into place, he smiled at the long gone by Senthamarai, it would have looked like, he was smiling to himself, the girls must have thought him to be weird, they waited for him, but he didn’t feel hungry, rather, he felt healthy, spirited, full of energy, he politely declined their offer, then, he saw Punguzali, she was sitting all alone. When Sarutha wasn’t there, she avoided eating with the working class, she secluded herself from the spot and took to a remote one, with her back facing them, for a moment he felt such an overwhelming love for her, he wanted to fondle her and say that he loved her, but on the other hand, she seemed to be possessed with her own guilt, so he looked from deep inside, he felt his mind, his energy touch her back, on the right side, to the left of her right shoulder blade, he felt a sizable amount of energy leave him and enter her, all these things happened so fast without thoughts guiding the action, intuitively, so by, he touched her without touching her physically, his mind had touched her, she felt it, startled, she turned around and looked at Adhavan, it all happened so fast, inconceivably fast, before both of them could realize, and it all ended the same way. That was his first, ‘Theshai’ and by that, Punguzali become his first disciple, though, Adhavan knew it by heart, as per Siddhars tradition, he kept quiet and let it for his disciples to unwind the truth for themselves, he was least interested in disclosing that he was her Guru, silently he walked away from the screen, without knowing that it will be Punguzali, his first disciple, who will use all of her internal energy in vain, in casting spells, invoking spirits, against all his future endeavors blindly, arrogantly, even without knowing, understanding, what it is, why it is being done and what good it would have done to anyone? She will do all of that, just for the sake to break him, demean him, make him fall to her feet, cry miserably for all his losses and failures, rather, for every step she took, every move she made, to crush Adhavan, he was blessed thrice by Siddhars. Unaware of what the future held for him, happy that he had initiated his first disciple, Adhavan went to the backyard, drank from the well, knelt down before the herb Tulsi, bowed to her in reverence and chanted thrice the mantra taught to him by his sister Matangi, which in fact, is a request placed before the herb, to grant permission to pluck 3 of its supple leaves, as he ended the chanting, a gentle mid-noon breeze caressed him, he carefully chose 3 fresh, light colored ones, bowed and thanked the herb, chewed on it leisurely, walked past the backyard, found a pack of remote boulders, under the shade of palm trees, he chose a flat one, with lots of shade, facing the sun, he started practicing vasi yoga as taught by Siddhar Macham.
Two hours must have passed by, it had thrown him into a deep Samadhi, when he came out of it, his whole body was set ablaze with an uncontrollable flow of energy, it was just flowing out through him, his back was aching, two hours were too long for the initial practitioners of vasi yoga, the way, taught by siddhars to attain siddham, then, he laid back for a few moments to stretch and relax, he looked at the sun, it looked ever glorious, though the overwhelming flow of energy has subsided a bit, his body was still throwing off enough vibrations, to give ‘Theshai’ to 100 more aspirants, that same moment, without even touching any of them physically. Owing to prolonged exposure in vasi yogam, even his breath involuntarily, steadied and sharpened along with his mind. Slowly, relaxed, but like an old drunken monk, he tottered around, back to the hut, Sarutha must have entered, just then, he bowed to her, picked up Roma Rishi’s, “Theshai”, which he absentmindedly left it on the door step, went into the partition, safely placed it in its hideout, turned around, as he crossed by, he saw Mathivathani gently pressing the dried palm leaves, using a conch shell, pulled by her charisma, he stepped in, though she was aware that he was there, without acknowledging his presence, she continued to work unperturbed, in the same rhythm, the rhythmic sound of the sliding conch shell over the palmscript made him feel good, he closed his eyes, stood behind her, enjoyed the sound immensely, right at that time, Kayalvizi came in looking for her, unable to bear Adhavan standing so close to Mathivathani, she came and stood close to his left, and enquired Mathivathani on certain prosaic things, she answered her, without actually looking back at her, still continuing to do her job. Adhavan not wanting to disturb them, turned around swiftly to leave, unaware, in a flick of a moment, his left hand pinky finger, flicked across her left forearm, immediately, at the point of contact, a sudden, rush of energy entered her, he stood still for a moment, then he realized, he has initiated his second disciple, in most the unexpected time, in the most unexpected situation, in the most unexpected fashion, then, after a momentary lapse, he found himself growingly becoming powerful, even his simple flick was able to transfer so much of energy onto a subject, as he was pondering over that incident, Kayalvizi turned around to leave them, obviously she was not interested in leaving Adhavan to her, but then, as to make her jealous, exactly at that moment, as though possessed by some divine spirit, he stepped forward, placed both his palms over the crown of Mathivathani’s head, blessed her with all his heart, she smiled back at him, but was unaware of the level of energy he had infused right into her, in a split second, thus Adhavan took his third disciple, knowingly, happily, intentionally, without doubts. Kayalvizi who was about to turn around and leave, saw Adhavan blessing Mathivathani, she was not able to stand it anymore, stand the innocent love and affection growing strongly between them, inside, she felt a burning rage, she wanted to pounce and tear apart, both Adhavan and Mathivathani, she was not able to stand him touching her so softly, so gently, with love, trying hard in hiding her brewing jealousy and biting grief, unable to contain it, she left the room with tears rolling down her eyes, jealousy and possessiveness of women knew no bounds, their vengeance can be so wrathful and treacherous enough, to even bring down mighty empires and their emperors. Unknowingly, Adhavan has landed himself into a greater trouble, he has chosen to walk among two jealous disciples and a benevolent, soothing one, the worst part is all of them were females, to whom he has given his vital life force. His fate didn’t end with them, it took him further, he slowly walked into the main hall, sat near by Sarutha, laid down on the floor and rested his head on her lap, as she was fondling his head gently, a stillness took over him, he saw the inner whorl and started losing himself into it, unable to resist his handsome looks, one of Senthamarai’s girls started admiring him openly, he felt her touch his soul, so he opened his eyes and looked, straight, deep into her, he mixed with her right at that moment, her heart squeezed, it stopped beating for a few countable seconds, she realized that something had been given unto her by Adhavan, unable to decipher its meaning, she bowed down her head and started contemplating over it, when she again stole her next glance at him, he was fully asleep with his head resting on Sarutha’s lap, she gently stroking his hair, had let him into a deep, peaceful sleep. Playfully he has initiated 4 females, hands down, in other words, he has become responsible for their salvation, a Sisyphean responsibility of a Guru, but he will make them attain the same, in the same playful manner, without them actually knowing it, in the same typical way of Adhavan.
An hour would have passed by, he heard the masculine voice of Muthupandian, he opened his eyes, looked at the sunset, through the side door; the red orange, glow was breathtaking, then realizing that his head was still was resting on Sarutha’s lap, he sprung forward that same moment and turned around to look at her, she was all smiles, she patted him gently on his shoulders, he got up reluctantly, moved across the hall, to where Muthupandian and Balaraman were standing, joined them in collecting various aids that they would need for building their place, then, one after another, they slowly started to load Muthupandian’s horse, with what it could carry comfortably, by that time, darkness has set in, the horse was loaded and they had enough to carry, they thanked and bid farewell to Sarutha and her daughters. With a heavy load on their shoulders, they walked towards the neem forest to the residing place of the Goddess Makali. They all walked in silence, brooding over their own thoughts that will steer forward their individual vocations that is so finely entwined with one another, in fact, inseparable.
There isn’t any standalone activity in this world, every single happening is connected to one another, irrespective of it being, material or immaterial, prosaic or extraordinary, personal or social, ethical or unethical, humane or inhumane, kind or brutal, rigid or flexible, and so on, whatever it may be, it will all sum up to one point, whereby, any deed done, or any thought made, or any idea sown, has and will have, its rightful due impact, not only on the ones who did it, but on everything and everyone who were associated with it, thus almost each and every one of us are connected, networked, into a collective consciousness, which is always on its way, trying to maintain balance, ease out abnormalities, sustain peace and harmony, in every due aspect, preserving humanity, their well-being and happiness, in all due manner, in all due rights, attending to its each and every need, through its own subjects and nature, in regards to the accomplishments made, and still being made, to this moment, without which, the human race would have perished long before, in fact, the existence of the human race is simply because of the existence of the invisible, invincible, ever pervasive, all harmonious, super balanced, collective consciousness.
After Macham vanished into thin air that night, Balaraman and Muthupandian eased themselves on the hard grounds, under the shades of a neem tree, caressed by the soft breeze, kissed and sent across by the ever beautiful moon, playing hide and seek among the racing dark clouds, moving stealthily among them, in pursuit of exposing its pellucid beauty, indeed, was an overwhelming, sensuous gratification, a royal treat to the hearts of the great men, who have lost everything in their life, but have found a great solace in Siddhar Macham and his ways, and so, have happily dedicated their lives, for a greater cause, a global one, in pursuit of divinity, on the other hand, the innate beautiful nature of the moonlit night, the eye-catching patterns of ever emerging dark clouds and the extravagant display of the bright stars also lured Adhavan into a deep contemplation, who has willingly thrown away everything in his life, in pursuit of truth, in pursuit of divinity, and have finally found comfort within himself, and have happily dedicated his life for a global cause, a greater one, without even knowing what the cause was, and for whom he has dedicated his life for; such a man’s grand thoughts, for the night were:
“How do these things always happen without fail? Who controls the sun and the moon? Who? How do they appear on every night, on every morning, as expected? Either it be a full moon or a new moon, have they ever failed in their routine? Have they? If for one day, just for one day, if they have failed, what would have happened? Just imagine, just for one second, if they have failed, if the earth has failed revolving around the sun, if the moon has failed revolving around the earth, what would have happened? What chaos it would have created? How do these things, these celestial objects, though they are far apart from one another, yet intricately coexist and work so harmoniously, in tune with one another, they act so well, so synchronized, to an extent, one can’t help appreciating its incredible, awe-inspiring, mind-blowing conspiracy, how? How does it all happen? How well balanced their motions are, in fact, even if one of them either stop their movement or act erratic, it would disrupt the whole chain of events, for sure, it may even lead to a total disaster, an annihilation of the whole universe, even in such cases, these celestial bodies, irrespective of their size, revolving speed, nature, etc., and the corresponding distance between them and their center, they still exist, and act together harmoniously, well balanced, how? Still, amidst such intricate complexities, have they ever been disharmonious? Have they? If so, we human being made of the same phenomena, matter and form that already exist in the universe, don’t we interact with one another, in a similar way, unknowingly, involuntarily? But do we act harmoniously like them, leave alone the occasional meteors and comets, the inevitable accidents? Do we? Much like the celestial bodies, aren’t our consciousness connected with one another, even if we exclude, cause and effect cycles, don’t we interact in such pure ways that are behind human manipulations and influences? Have we ever sensed it? Have we ever sensed the truth of our coexistence, our spiritual drives, and our innate urges that are beyond comprehension? Have we?”
Adhavan stopped for a moment, admired the beauty the night had to offer, and then started again, talking to himself in silence:
“Do I act upon my own, or am I here because of grand master Atri? Am I being influenced or trapped into doing something that I don’t want to do? But then, if they are so powerful, why should they need me at all, to do what I am doing now, they can very well do it by themselves? Won’t they? Then, why did they choose me? Why? Is it a promise that I need to keep? Is it because of my previous birth? Am I here for finishing an unfinished Job? On the first hand, is rebirth true? Who can order me to do what I am supposed to do? Is it not against one’s free will? What binds me to do something that I really don’t know anything about? How could I be expected to get into something that I haven’t had my hands on? How? Is it the caution given by Siddhar Macham that is making me question every basic thing that I believed in before hand? Is the light and sound that I see and hear, are they real attributes of the God? Is the divine lamp that I see, is it God? My goodness gracious, just a caution about pain has made me rethink the whole of my earlier understanding and question every bit of it ruthlessly? Am is so fickle minded? Is god a concept or a living truth? If it is a concept, isn't not equivalent to saying that it is fake? Have I not felt it myself? Have I not seen the supernatural potential within me? Have I not seen myself in absolute nakedness, stripped of one’s body, in all its due grandeur? Have I not seen my soul? Have I not seen the Parabrahmam? Have I not seen the lamp within myself? Have I not felt the energy flowing out through my body? Have I not? Ah! Oh! My God! Why do you test my patience? Are these movements, insights and senses, are they just concepts? Then, what the hell are they? If they are attributes of god, then obviously I am god, because I control it, I control its movement, I order them, I own them? Am I not? Don’t I? Is it truth, or is it arrogance? But still, have I mastered its flow, and actions borne out of that flow, with full authority and complete control, so to say, can I unleash, or focus in, all my energy this very moment, if I want to? Can I? Then, if so, I would call myself as ‘God’, else I would state that I am becoming a God. Is it arrogance to do so? Is it evil, even to think about becoming a god? Is it wrong, in becoming the one; be one with him, act in tune with him, with complete mastery over oneself? Haven’t siddhars achieved that state? The ultimate transformation every human heart aches for—the complete mastery over oneself, as like the one Siddhar Macham did, he just disappeared right before everyone’s eye into thin air, in full awareness, an explicit expression of the most revered ashtama siddhi, ‘Isathuvam’? Didn’t he, in all due humbleness? Even, he says that grand master Atri is 1000 times better than him? Didn’t he? So can we say that all these siddhars are walking gods? Is it true? Is it so?”
Right at that moment, a loud thunder shook his mind, woke him up from his deep contemplation, a walking embodiment of light approached him, it was pure light, a beautiful, brilliant, dazzling one, he immediately recognized the form, it was the same one he saw in the Peruvazhi along with Sarutha, the one who came with Annai Anushya Devi, in one of his trances, while he was resting on the veranda at Siddhar Macham’s hut, he again was the one who walked the river Nayili, that very day, when he sought the most unsought path, it was none other than the grand master Atri, as he was looking at him mesmerized, in a split second, before he was aware, he was thrown into a deep trance, that which is possible only to an immortal being, it was more like a samadhi, though his eyes were closed, he saw every fine movement in the surroundings, as though his mind was able to witness, wherever his consciousness willed, in whichever direction it looked, the immortal being, the grand master Atri spoke to him, his voice roared that of a Lion:
“I see you to be an honest aspirant, seek not the powers, but the truth, which will be bestowed upon you, at the right time, when you have mastered yourself enough to handle it, in fact, it will happen so spontaneously, naturally, when you have attained that state. You are the God and the God is you, but now, it is just a concept to you, it is better to be an honest man, than fooling yourself into believing a concept and call upon it as God, right now, the truth is; though you have realized yourself, you have not mastered your mind, you are not able to relish the flow of energy fully, and unleash it unhindered as and when asked for, rather than bothering about what you don’t have and what you have not attained, live an honest, sincere, truthful life and live it fully, religiously, completely, in harmony with yourself, one another and the environment, do fulfill your daily, day-to-day chores, stick to your routine life, nothing more is expected from you, you will get an answer for all your unanswered question as a vital, life changing experiences, in a similar way that has been given to you in the past, there isn’t any other better way to learn, than experiences, words can only trigger a mind and ignite the quest, but it is only conscious experiences and a complete self mastery of the same that really helps in attaining one's salvation—a complete practical, understanding borne out of real time, hard core, experiences and self-mastery that tells us right on ones' face that you are in fact the God, ‘The Aham Brahmasmi’, though it is a universal truth, it doesn’t hold good for the ones who have not realized the truth, who have not realized their self and who have not mastered themselves so well, into realizing it any time, any where, any moment. Finally, to tell you the truth, I am not your Guru, he is out there in a very deep samadhi, at venmudiyar hills, only once in a year, on Panguni Uthiram, he comes out of his samadhi, as we have requested him so, to meet his disciples and get together along with them, of whom Siddhar Tiger Paw is the one, who leads them, if by then, you are ready, you will be asked to join, else you may need to wait, from then on, from that glorious moment, your purpose of this life will be disclosed, in his grand presence. Note, he is much purer, holier, and powerful than me, for he has chosen you, not me, not anyone of us, and so he will talk to you, when the time comes. Don’t keep waiting for that moment, let it blossom naturally, focus on your routine life, refine your mind, crystallize it.”
With that Adhavan woke up from the trance, his whole body was set ablaze with fine, extraordinary, exquisite blend of vibrations and subtlety of a serene mind that he has never before experienced, it was such a bliss, then, he saw Grand Master Atri leave north-west, he was almost gliding, he moved faster than the wind, in a split second, he like Siddhar Macham disappeared into thin air, surprised, he turned away, looked back and gazed emptily in the direction of the venmudiyar hills, with a beautiful feeling of belonging, lingering mildly in his heart, enjoying every bit of it, he laid back, admired the gibbous, floating majestically in the clouds filled with the twinkling stars, array of stupid thoughts and clumsy questions didn’t bother him anymore, a sweet sleep took over him, he slept peacefully on the lap of mother nature.
Though he went to bed very late, he woke up very early, in order to get on with his routine life, now he knows, he can’t lead a carefree life that he has been enjoying so long, he has to take up commitments, he has to pretend, to be one among them, if he has to learn about fellow human beings, their societies, their urges, their needs, their cries, their joys, their loves, then, he has to sacrifice his inner harmony, on which he has been thriving upon, rather, he has to move with them, mix with them, cry and laugh along with them, further, in addition, he has to absorb all their turmoils, agonies and ecstasies, else his learning and knowing about life will be nothing but woods, birds, flowers, rivers, ponds, hills, boulders and all fine, delicate beauties of nature alone, but not the living human beings, hence he decided to live a normal human life. As advised by Siddhar Macham, he will spend the mornings with Sarutha, and evenings with Muthupandian, he will continue with this routine until the day he would feel from deep within, to walk away from his social life, bid adieu to all near and dear ones, in good will and in good gesture, and so he decided to avoid any type of deep personal commitments that will hold him back from his spiritual quest, or hurt someone deeply, with that caution in mind, he looked at the world fresh, After that heart warming conversation with grand master Atri, he was able to throw off his troubled thoughts, relaxed, he looked around for his comrades, he heard their faint voices from the gushing stream, they were talking to one another, it gave him a nice feeling, he got up and walked towards them.
After an hour, all three walked towards the laughing hills, they would need lots of materials from pick axes to nails and hammers, to start their humble lives in the forest, which they decide to get from Sarutha, and throughout the way, Balaraman and Muthupandian were talking about making 3 simple huts, 1 for each of them, whereas Adhavan dismissed the idea and said:
“I won’t be needing a separate hut, rather, let us build a big one, which would help us to store materials, weapons, firewoods, tools, timbers, bamboo poles, etc. In addition, it would also provide, not only a temporary shelter for Muthupandian’s kins, but also a good one for the visitors, who might come to see Goddess Makali. You don’t need to worry about me, I would either stay with one of you, or in the storehouse, or even, the veranda at Siddhar Macham’s hut could, well, accommodate me on some nights, so let us not waste time in building a separate hut for me, rather, let us build a big one that would serve many hearts, many purposes.”
They all agreed to it and walked fast, noting down mentally, various spots in the landscape that could act as good sources for the timbers. After a four hours of steady walk, they were standing right before the hut of Siddhar Macham, they looked for him, he wasn’t found anywhere there, they looked for Sarutha, she too wasn’t there, they must have gone to the caves in vasimuni hills, so they took permission from Punguzali and waited for Sarutha in the veranda. It was almost mid-noon, sweat was rolling down Adhavan’s body, so he went to the pond, wiped the dirt and sweat, off his stinking body, relaxed, cool, he made his way back to Siddhar Macham’s hut, leaving the two older men to rest in the veranda, he entered the hut, started calculating when he has to wake up and how fast he has to come, if he has to reach, laughing hills in 3 hours of time after sunrise, then, he should wake up at least an hour before sunrise and should run slowly, steadily with a bit of intermittent rest for 3 hours, then he would be on time as he would want to, he always wanted to be punctual, , as far as punctuality is concerned, there aren’t any compromises to it. He slowly went inside the hut, the girls giggled and whispered along, they were very happy to have him back, he looked for Mathivathani, she wasn’t there, she must have accompanied her father to vasimuni hills. Punguzali pretended herself to be busy, but Adhavan was able to trace lingering guilt on her beautiful face, it was smitten with sorrow, she must have expected him to be really unhappy, enraged, jealous and broken, on the contrary, Adhavan looked very calm and composed, in fact, he was reminded of the incident, only on seeing the guilt, plain on Punguzali’s face, whereas, she must have been emotionally tormented for past two days, over the incident that happened during the full moon festival, wherein, she succumbed to emotional, psychological, survival pressure, that guilt emanated and conspired with her, ignoring all this outer melodrama, which in eyes of Adhavan, are just piles of clumsy, removable emotions, he openly smiled at her, it brightened his charm, his eyes smiled more than his lips, it just ripped open her heart, it was too straight, hard and fast, obviously, it must have hurt her more, he always had acted just opposite to her expectations, her whims, her fantasies, her reasons, her very basic understanding of humankind, he literally toppled her viewpoints, ploys, in a few matters of seconds, just by his queer behaviors, he didn’t fight with her, he didn’t curse her, he didn’t physically abuse her, he didn’t talk behind her back, nothing, nothing at all, it was like, he was not part of the incident at all, that was staged mainly for him, only for him, predominantly to hurt him, on the contrary, not seeing him hurt, did hurt her, badly, very badly, especially, his honest, sincere joyful smile, almost broke her stinking ego and her arrogant disposition, beyond the anguish of her own guilt, the smile did hurt her more, it shattered her ego; which was actually expecting a brutal, outrageous, Adhavan, but the reality failed her miserably. She ignored him and he walked away, unable to fathom her mind, her needs, and her clumsy, stupid ego, he approached Kayalvizi, who was all smiles, dressed in bright colors, he asked her straight, without niceties, in the typical way of Adhavan:
“Do you have any work for me?”
Though Kayalvizi had lot of work to do, she hesitated for a moment and thought deeply about it, if she says that she has some work, Adhavan might either share the work and bury his head deep over it, as he is one sincere, honest dude, else, rather than grabbing this chance to talk to her, he would leave her and go to other girls, as not to disturb her in her work. Thinking of herself as a smart girl, hiding the fact, she had lots of work to do, she told him a plain lie, sincerely hoping that it will make him spend some time with her:
“No. You please sit down. I don’t have any work. I am free.”
The moment she said it, surprised, almost all of the womenfolk turned around and stared at her openly. Adhavan replied straight, fast, without hesitation:
“That is ok. Thanks. Let me go and find some work.”
Kayalvizi was baffled by his reply, before she had time to come up with one another lie, Adhavan left her, he then, earnestly looked at Punguzali, though, he wanted to very much go and talk to her, he hesitated a lot, as he saw in her that pang of hot, rude jealousy and ready to hurt stance, indeed he wanted to help her much, talk to her a lot, and spend ample time with her, but alas, her face was boiling with reddening rage, guilt, frustration and grief, so he silently approached Senthamarai, before he could get anywhere closer to her, she spoke out loud:
“Even, I don’t have any work, but you are welcome to sit near us and watch us doing our work."
Adhavan stood for a moment silently, as he was brooding over what to do next, out of bloom, in a flash, Roma Rishi’s, “Theshai”, appeared in his mind, he went straight to the partition, where he had hid the manuscript, brought it out, sat nearby the side entrance, facing the outside world, enjoying the pleasantness of the day, wherein, the light flooded the garden of flowers, the shining petals and the fresh sprouting buds reflected it furthermore, the pigments of the flowers added color to its wild reflections, thus spellbound by overwhelming light and beauty, Adhavan read the first verse, he contemplated on each word and its formation, it talked in large, about how to awaken the soul? How to touch it? How to invoke the dormant internal energy? How to infuse a person’s mind and seed aspirations? How to love a human being? Slowly, he let the those beautiful, constructive thoughts, sink into him, it did spread its wings and encompassed him warmly, soon the meaning permeated deep into his pellucid mind, he allowed it to take over him, a genuine warmth suffused him, slowly, unaware, he was thrown into a deep trance, his body leaned over the sides, his head rested on the jamp. An hour must have gone by, when he was woken up by Senthamarai for lunch, he felt like a new born baby, the world looked fresh, everything seemed to look anew, he seemed very different, he looked at all those womenfolk, they all just looked like strangers, he stared emptily into Senthamarai’s eyes, she must have been taken off guard, unable to decipher the meaning behind his stare, she left him, asking him to join for lunch, slowly he came to a ground to the earth, realization from the spiritual haven he was thrown into. He looked at the manuscript in his hand, it had no more use to him, as he knew, all of it has been transferred into him spiritually, in a very short notice, by Siddhar Roma Rishi. He was in such a deep trance, the whole world looked afresh when he woke up, slowly everything fell into place, he smiled at the long gone by Senthamarai, it would have looked like, he was smiling to himself, the girls must have thought him to be weird, they waited for him, but he didn’t feel hungry, rather, he felt healthy, spirited, full of energy, he politely declined their offer, then, he saw Punguzali, she was sitting all alone. When Sarutha wasn’t there, she avoided eating with the working class, she secluded herself from the spot and took to a remote one, with her back facing them, for a moment he felt such an overwhelming love for her, he wanted to fondle her and say that he loved her, but on the other hand, she seemed to be possessed with her own guilt, so he looked from deep inside, he felt his mind, his energy touch her back, on the right side, to the left of her right shoulder blade, he felt a sizable amount of energy leave him and enter her, all these things happened so fast without thoughts guiding the action, intuitively, so by, he touched her without touching her physically, his mind had touched her, she felt it, startled, she turned around and looked at Adhavan, it all happened so fast, inconceivably fast, before both of them could realize, and it all ended the same way. That was his first, ‘Theshai’ and by that, Punguzali become his first disciple, though, Adhavan knew it by heart, as per Siddhars tradition, he kept quiet and let it for his disciples to unwind the truth for themselves, he was least interested in disclosing that he was her Guru, silently he walked away from the screen, without knowing that it will be Punguzali, his first disciple, who will use all of her internal energy in vain, in casting spells, invoking spirits, against all his future endeavors blindly, arrogantly, even without knowing, understanding, what it is, why it is being done and what good it would have done to anyone? She will do all of that, just for the sake to break him, demean him, make him fall to her feet, cry miserably for all his losses and failures, rather, for every step she took, every move she made, to crush Adhavan, he was blessed thrice by Siddhars. Unaware of what the future held for him, happy that he had initiated his first disciple, Adhavan went to the backyard, drank from the well, knelt down before the herb Tulsi, bowed to her in reverence and chanted thrice the mantra taught to him by his sister Matangi, which in fact, is a request placed before the herb, to grant permission to pluck 3 of its supple leaves, as he ended the chanting, a gentle mid-noon breeze caressed him, he carefully chose 3 fresh, light colored ones, bowed and thanked the herb, chewed on it leisurely, walked past the backyard, found a pack of remote boulders, under the shade of palm trees, he chose a flat one, with lots of shade, facing the sun, he started practicing vasi yoga as taught by Siddhar Macham.
Two hours must have passed by, it had thrown him into a deep Samadhi, when he came out of it, his whole body was set ablaze with an uncontrollable flow of energy, it was just flowing out through him, his back was aching, two hours were too long for the initial practitioners of vasi yoga, the way, taught by siddhars to attain siddham, then, he laid back for a few moments to stretch and relax, he looked at the sun, it looked ever glorious, though the overwhelming flow of energy has subsided a bit, his body was still throwing off enough vibrations, to give ‘Theshai’ to 100 more aspirants, that same moment, without even touching any of them physically. Owing to prolonged exposure in vasi yogam, even his breath involuntarily, steadied and sharpened along with his mind. Slowly, relaxed, but like an old drunken monk, he tottered around, back to the hut, Sarutha must have entered, just then, he bowed to her, picked up Roma Rishi’s, “Theshai”, which he absentmindedly left it on the door step, went into the partition, safely placed it in its hideout, turned around, as he crossed by, he saw Mathivathani gently pressing the dried palm leaves, using a conch shell, pulled by her charisma, he stepped in, though she was aware that he was there, without acknowledging his presence, she continued to work unperturbed, in the same rhythm, the rhythmic sound of the sliding conch shell over the palmscript made him feel good, he closed his eyes, stood behind her, enjoyed the sound immensely, right at that time, Kayalvizi came in looking for her, unable to bear Adhavan standing so close to Mathivathani, she came and stood close to his left, and enquired Mathivathani on certain prosaic things, she answered her, without actually looking back at her, still continuing to do her job. Adhavan not wanting to disturb them, turned around swiftly to leave, unaware, in a flick of a moment, his left hand pinky finger, flicked across her left forearm, immediately, at the point of contact, a sudden, rush of energy entered her, he stood still for a moment, then he realized, he has initiated his second disciple, in most the unexpected time, in the most unexpected situation, in the most unexpected fashion, then, after a momentary lapse, he found himself growingly becoming powerful, even his simple flick was able to transfer so much of energy onto a subject, as he was pondering over that incident, Kayalvizi turned around to leave them, obviously she was not interested in leaving Adhavan to her, but then, as to make her jealous, exactly at that moment, as though possessed by some divine spirit, he stepped forward, placed both his palms over the crown of Mathivathani’s head, blessed her with all his heart, she smiled back at him, but was unaware of the level of energy he had infused right into her, in a split second, thus Adhavan took his third disciple, knowingly, happily, intentionally, without doubts. Kayalvizi who was about to turn around and leave, saw Adhavan blessing Mathivathani, she was not able to stand it anymore, stand the innocent love and affection growing strongly between them, inside, she felt a burning rage, she wanted to pounce and tear apart, both Adhavan and Mathivathani, she was not able to stand him touching her so softly, so gently, with love, trying hard in hiding her brewing jealousy and biting grief, unable to contain it, she left the room with tears rolling down her eyes, jealousy and possessiveness of women knew no bounds, their vengeance can be so wrathful and treacherous enough, to even bring down mighty empires and their emperors. Unknowingly, Adhavan has landed himself into a greater trouble, he has chosen to walk among two jealous disciples and a benevolent, soothing one, the worst part is all of them were females, to whom he has given his vital life force. His fate didn’t end with them, it took him further, he slowly walked into the main hall, sat near by Sarutha, laid down on the floor and rested his head on her lap, as she was fondling his head gently, a stillness took over him, he saw the inner whorl and started losing himself into it, unable to resist his handsome looks, one of Senthamarai’s girls started admiring him openly, he felt her touch his soul, so he opened his eyes and looked, straight, deep into her, he mixed with her right at that moment, her heart squeezed, it stopped beating for a few countable seconds, she realized that something had been given unto her by Adhavan, unable to decipher its meaning, she bowed down her head and started contemplating over it, when she again stole her next glance at him, he was fully asleep with his head resting on Sarutha’s lap, she gently stroking his hair, had let him into a deep, peaceful sleep. Playfully he has initiated 4 females, hands down, in other words, he has become responsible for their salvation, a Sisyphean responsibility of a Guru, but he will make them attain the same, in the same playful manner, without them actually knowing it, in the same typical way of Adhavan.
An hour would have passed by, he heard the masculine voice of Muthupandian, he opened his eyes, looked at the sunset, through the side door; the red orange, glow was breathtaking, then realizing that his head was still was resting on Sarutha’s lap, he sprung forward that same moment and turned around to look at her, she was all smiles, she patted him gently on his shoulders, he got up reluctantly, moved across the hall, to where Muthupandian and Balaraman were standing, joined them in collecting various aids that they would need for building their place, then, one after another, they slowly started to load Muthupandian’s horse, with what it could carry comfortably, by that time, darkness has set in, the horse was loaded and they had enough to carry, they thanked and bid farewell to Sarutha and her daughters. With a heavy load on their shoulders, they walked towards the neem forest to the residing place of the Goddess Makali. They all walked in silence, brooding over their own thoughts that will steer forward their individual vocations that is so finely entwined with one another, in fact, inseparable.
End of Volume I
The Epilogue
There isn’t any standalone activity in this world, every single happening is connected to one another, irrespective of it being, material or immaterial, prosaic or extraordinary, personal or social, ethical or unethical, humane or inhumane, kind or brutal, rigid or flexible, and so on, whatever it may be, it will all sum up to one point, whereby, any deed done, or any thought made, or any idea sown, has and will have, its rightful due impact, not only on the ones who did it, but on everything and everyone who were associated with it, thus almost each and every one of us are connected, networked, into a collective consciousness, which is always on its way, trying to maintain balance, ease out abnormalities, sustain peace and harmony, in every due aspect, preserving humanity, their well-being and happiness, in all due manner, in all due rights, attending to its each and every need, through its own subjects and nature, in regards to the accomplishments made, and still being made, to this moment, without which, the human race would have perished long before, in fact, the existence of the human race is simply because of the existence of the invisible, invincible, ever pervasive, all harmonious, super balanced, collective consciousness.
Now it is more a routine life for Adhavan, except for the learnings he would make daily, every other thing would fall into a normal line, he will get into his routine life, he will enjoy every precious moment of it, the girls will get close to him, they will start to adore him, Sarutha will treat him like a God, all this festoon and embraces of colors, fragrances and grandeur will last only till the onset of the next full moon day,where he will meet face to face with the octet, Athiperunar, Nedunenkilli, Mathurarayar, Yuvaninathan, Pahi, Sova, Saya and Prajitha, after which he will face unimaginable adversities, great calamities, gruesome emotional pains, stifling anguish, heart tormenting situations that will make any normal man go mad, rip open his chest and cry his heart out, but what happened to Adhavan? Was he affected by it? What did they do to him? What did they do to his friends? How did they do it? Who were all part of it? What was the motivation behind their insanity? Did they achieve their goal? Were they able to turn his friends against him? Were they able to swindle him off every single relationship he cherished? Were they able to do it? Did Adhavan, an enlightened man, the target of all these cowardly attacks, did he come out unblemished? Did his friends stand by his side, during the much needed crucial hours? Did his friends face the same state he was thrown into? Did they all suffer together? What happened to each one of them? Did it affect their relationships? Did Killivalavan get married to Mathuranjanadevi? Did Poncetuceni and Killivalavan achieve what they were supposed to achieve? Did the enmity between Adhavan and the octet affect his solemn purpose? Did it?
Answers to all this will be compiled under Volume II
Life is too long, yet life is too short
The moment gone is gone
Life is too long, yet life is too short
The moment gone is gone
(End of Volume I)
Written on Dates: 09/26-10/02
Chapter 02 The First Glimpse of the Third Eye
Chapter 03 The Complete Surrender
Chapter 04 The Sacredness of the Divine Incarnation
Chapter 05 The Veneration of a Guru
Chapter 06 The Immortality
Chapter 07 The Art of Dying
Chapter 08 The Good Cause
Chapter 09 The First Dissemination
Chapter 10 The One behind the Spiritual Transformation
Chapter 11 The Smothering of the Class Distinctions
Chapter 11 The Smothering of the Class Distinctions
Chapter 12 The Insight of the Divine Lamp
Chapter 13 The Great Four
Chapter 13 The Great Four
Chapter 14 The Final Samadhi
Chapter 15 The Blossoming Love
Chapter 16 The Divine Intervention
Chapter 17 The Second Dissemination
Chapter 15 The Blossoming Love
Chapter 16 The Divine Intervention
Chapter 17 The Second Dissemination
Chapter 18 The Fusion and Beyond
Chapter 19 The Rise of an Internal Conflict
Chapter 20 The Realization of the Self
Chapter 21 The Way of the Siddhars
Chapter 22 The Jealous Bigots
Chapter 23 The Formation of an Objective
Chapter 24 The Discussion on Dreams
Chapter 19 The Rise of an Internal Conflict
Chapter 20 The Realization of the Self
Chapter 21 The Way of the Siddhars
Chapter 22 The Jealous Bigots
Chapter 23 The Formation of an Objective
Chapter 24 The Discussion on Dreams
