Chapter 22: The Jealous Bigots
Makes the attainable, the most unattainable.
Translation
If someone else desire my
woman
Will I leave him? Will I not
say that he should be killed first?
When the death calls upon
you, this precious body will smell foul
They will come till the crematorium,
to handover the corpse to the cremator.
—Siddhar Sivavakkiyar Song (005)
Individual experiences, forced down dogmas, social background, cultural influences, family standpoints, individual perceptions, genetic traits, personal desires, emotional quotient, financial security, social expectation, forced down personal agendas, individual consciousness, collective consciousness and many more attributes, all of them help in forming a mind, altogether, in various proportions, continuously, every moment, they keep impinging on the sensitive mind, mutating it further, inconspicuously, finally transforming it into an absolute, rigid, insensitive one—this state, this accumulation point, stands out to be the character of the person that we generally associate with, after which, any change, irrespective of it being good or bad, would go imperceptible, unaffecting much, the overall unique personality, the subject it has developed into, that we generally see as ‘the matured mind’, or ‘the ego’, either way, it becomes, it gradually transforms, into the most insensitive, non-adaptive, unalterable, the unvarying mind, in other words, the stifling, the unchanging ego—so much go into the making of a person, if so, how difficult it would be, to bring upon transformation upon such a highly complicated system, the formed mind, the forged ego, help it attain the natural convergence, the harmonious resting over sound and light that is very much audible and seeable within oneself, leave alone, going further and seeing the divine lamp within, then much farther, merging with the parabrahmam, the one, the god. To most of us, in fact, all of us, the enemy is within oneself, the bigot is within you, transform him, the natural transformation will take over you, it is a birthright of every single human being born, everyone should fight for it, fortunately, the fight is within you, so its winnable, it is not about the good against the bad, rather, it’s about letting your mind dwell on the sanctous sanctorum of your body and the elements that are not letting it happen, identify them, exterminate them, the divine lamp will majestically, spontaneously, bloom upon the divine white lotus. The most elusive part and the most trickiest one, is the identification of these elements, in the sense, even the thought pattern about identifying such an element, in itself, is an element to be removed, to further worsen the situation, by the time you identify it, the patterns might have mutated and taken some other form, leaving you at bay, though they may not create a noticeable transformation of the well formed mind, they are still mutates, and they keep evolving continuously with respect to time, space and events, strengthening further the fort of the formed mind, hence this ongoing transient nature of the elements, makes the attainable, the most unattainable, only an unflinching, assiduous, unrelenting mind can bear fruit in the sacred pursuit of self-realization.
Nedunenkilli was obviously surprised by the daring intervention of the two local guards, either they didn’t know who they were, or they knew them well to be the cavalry of the mighty eastern vendhars, the foremost is ignorance, a forgivable stupidity, so can be forgiven, whereas, the latter is vexatious, could either turn out to be an unforgivable intervention or a futile attempt on his life. In the given location, in the given time, among his group of elite soldiers, the first possibility of the logic seems to be totally impossible, as everyone would have known them, the moment they saw them, their cavalry, their flag, their men and their outfit, were all self explanatory. The second possibility looked ridiculous, for the men standing out before him, stood so politely, with their heads bowed down, so he sensed no evil in their intentions, actually, he hoped they had some valid good reason for making such an audacious intervention, in fact, Nedunenkilli, started liking them, though the blockading of a royal cavalry is a punishable crime and an act to be punished immediately, without an official hearing, the men out there were smiling, they looked humble, especially they stood with their heads bowed down, that was more than enough to appease Nedunenkilli, irrespective of whether they are proved to be guilty or not, for in his personal lexicon, those were the signs of good attitude, respect for elders, power and authority, so he overruled the law and decided not to arrest them. The third possibility looked much more ridiculous, just for the simple reason, all his men would have been dead by now, if they have come to kill them, and they would have not come out so openly, they would have launched their attack from the nearby hideouts. So he further scrutinized the second possibility, from there, he could see many more such odds, stretching out before him, by the general disposition of the guards, he was able to perceive that they are just guards, nothing more, rather, he expected the ones, who have ordered the blockade to wait for him secretively, somewhere around the place of the happenings, for if he was a male or a group of males, he would have come to him straight, along with their guards, so it must be a woman, who pretty much didn’t want to disclose her identity, before a group of strangers, who were all men, for the fear of losing her reputation, or it could have been that she has come up with petitions that she didn’t want to disclose publicly, then, it is highly unlikely for her to have come alone, so it must be more than one, might be, they would have come with few more guards and maids, so he moved past his men, rode along with their guards, without hesitation, leaving his own men waiting for him. That is the mind of Nedunenkilli, a man of logics, who had rarely made a mistake in the war front, is now approaching an erratic human problem, unfortunately, he is not the man to deal with humanity and its problems, for he misunderstood the very simple fact of life, human beings are not machines, they have their own complexities, which knowingly, deceitfully, can’t be comfortably grouped under the box emotions, then, almost all items in life, would be recategorized under the ignored, purple (it is not red) colored box, labelled, ‘senses, instincts and emotions’, very few, negligible quantities would be grouped under the white colored box ‘logics’, so as per the science of predictions, all his plans based on logics, will go for a fix, they are doomed to fail for sure, in life related matters, owing to the simple truth, ‘life is not all logics’, so the biggest mistake he made here, is to trust a woman, who dared to intervene the royal cavalry, sought its commander in privacy, that too without disclosing her identity—a sure sign of spreading evilness, a woman who dared to break rules once, will break the rules again and it could be for any reason. Nedunenkilli’s logical mind failed to apply ethics, morality and common sense, over his sheer logical conclusions, though he was highly logical, he failed to be wise, and so he decided to meet the ‘Who?’ and he failed right at that moment, that was his first step into her trap, he foolishly let a third person approach him, bypassing his superiors, in case of political issues and his father or the concerned, in case of family matters. When he stepped in, he didn’t know that it is both, he rode briskly, confidently, towards the chariot, along with their guards.
He was right, his logical conclusions have never failed him, there stood a big chariot, a closed one, driven by four rough beasts, majestically, under the shades of an enormous peepul tree, in the center of an expansive farm. When he got down and walked towards the chariot, a smiling face opened the door and welcomed him in. He climbed up and stood mesmerized at the extravaganza of the interior decoration, what he saw was really amazing, the interiors of the chariot looked heavenly; the golden light emanating from the antique oil lamps, fixed at the corners, permeated every nook and corner of the chamber; the white robes made of white silk, draping the white walls, fell smoothly, covering almost all its sides, contained the glorious, suffusing, golden white light within; the red colored, hand woven, intricate designs, stood out fantastically on the white robes, it glittered like ornaments, reflecting the golden white light, back and forth, everywhere, which then mixed sensuously with the exotic fragrance, emanating from the affluent ladies, presenting an atmosphere effused with extravagant richness. He felt like he was in the heavens. The tall woman of moderate complexion, who smilingly welcomed him in, was inches taller than him. She looked pompous with her heavy set hips, slim waist, sensuous lips and large roving eyes, she talked in whispers, as though, everything she was saying is of utmost importance and to be considered highly secretive, she kept moving from subject to subject, artificially, avoiding straight questions and straight answers, though her eyes seemed to look fixed and oriented, her mind was literally spiraling out of control. She introduced herself as the wife of Athiperunar, started speaking about him and Nedunenkilli, in great praise and honor, along with lots of inquiries about Macham, Sarutha and Killivalavan.
Nedunenkilli interrupted and asked her:
“How do I call you Madam?”
She smiled at him and replied:
“My name is Saya, please call me by my name.”
Then she pointed at 2 short, round, big fat ladies, sitting next to her, whose hips were twice the size of their bosoms, the heavily built one with dark complexion was called Pahi, and the flabby one with fair complexion was called Sova. They were staring openly at him. Pahi was introduced as the wife of Mathurarayar and Sova as the wife of Yuvaninathan.
Nedunenkilli stored their names in his mind, in an easily recognizable manner, Saya, the tall, stooping one, is the wife of Athiperunar, Pahi, the fat black one, is the wife of Mathurarayar and Sova, the fat white one, is the wife of Yuvaninathan. Confident, that he can recall each of their names without confusion, he started conversing with them fluently. He said:
“Well ladies, I hope, you have not stopped me to introduce yourselves. Isn’t it?”
Pahi replied:
“No sir, of course not, we are here to seek your advice and help. We are very much in need of it. Our men are so troubled with the recent happenings at the laughing hills and they are burning with rightful, strong indignation. We want to give them some peace and we believe you can help us a lot.”
Saya voiced along with her:
“See, we want all of us to be happy, we don’t want anyone to be hurt, it is not that we are against anyone specifically, so you see, we just want to be of help, do something about it rather than sitting idle.”
Sova remained silent throughout the conversation and continued to remain so, listening carefully to everything being said, apparently, she looked old and was leading the group.
Nedunenkilli was moved by the plea, it always had a special ringing effect, when it was being made by the ladies of high places, especially when they look up to you with reverence, seeking very much your personal intervention, but he didn’t know how to probe their minds and see what was lying behind their thick veil of pretending goodness, rather, he started listening to their stories blindly, he started believing in them, without making any necessary validations, so their stories along with their tears and pleas, sank deep into him, he felt an immediate urge to do something, predominantly for Saya as he was personally touched by her caring, motherly nature. He let himself slowly fall into their trap. He asked them politely:
“Ladies, I would be happy If I could be of help, but how, what do you want me to do?”
They all remained silent for a moment, the women knew, they need to make it look very logical, to earn his trust and woo him further into their trap. So Saya opened up with her first, big, fat lie:
“We all just love the way your mother runs the business, and we adore your father, he is so supernatural, psychic, extraordinary and all that stuff, but we can’t understand why he is so biased? Anyhow, our simple minds can understand his ways. Leave it. We all knew what happened, your father took a fugitive as his disciple and your brother befriended him against your wish, obviously, it must have hurt you deeply.”
She poked him further:
“All these days you have been taking care of him and he was literally following your steps, it was all so good, in fact, we thought you were his hero, then, all of a sudden, from nowhere, this guy jumped out of heaven, what is his name? The dark one....”
Pahi uttered:
“Muthupandian.”
Saya continued to weave her web:
“Yeah, that guy only, and the next day your brother takes his side. He should have at least some gratitude left in him, it so pathetic, of all, what you have done to him and to your family, today’s incident should have broken your heart, isn’t it? The least, an honest, hardworking man would have expected. We all understand how painful and insulting it must have been, we really feel sorry for it.”
Saya paused and continued:
“Oh! It’s so terrible, your father is so good at heart, he is so generous, he even takes a state’s enemy as his disciple, that is all fine and marvelous, but where does it all lead to? We just can’t blame him, that is his nature, at least your mother and your brother should have stood by your side. So ungrateful! So unfamily! I least expected this from Sarutha and your brother, you must have seen how she jumped and danced, after your father invited that Muthupandian to stay with them.”
Pahi interrupted:
“Fortunately, he was not there, to see all those things, else it would have been very painful.”
Slowly the women wove a web of lies, made out of facts, so that it looks like truth, but in fact, their subjective conclusions are nothing but a heap of ugly lies, and Nedunenkilli walked into it all by himself without resistance.
Saya continued:
“Why don’t people care about others feelings? Why do they hurt one another? Why? That too within the same family, it is all so bad. You know what, it all looks absolutely ridiculous. Of all, how it would pain, when people are ungrateful. Ah, I have experienced it myself, the pain of betrayal, the pain of ingratitude, the life as such. And who is that little spoilt brat, that weird kid?”
Pahi interrupted:
“The slim one uh, that kid, I think, his name is Adhavan.”
Saya blasted out:
“Oh no! Have you ever talked to him? My god, he is such a spoilt brat, with a drastic, disgusting, rotten attitude. I bet, you would have never seen such a person, with such an attitude, in whole of your life, not even in king of kings, and when he opens his loud mouth, you know what, he talks like he is god.”
Pahi interrupted and said sarcastically:
“He just didn’t say that out. That’s all. But he walks like god, talks like a god, as though he knows everything about everyone, in fact, he behaves like a one, he is out there only to teach people, to him, everyone other than himself are just despicable fools. My goodness gracious! You must have seen him talking, especially his degrading language, and the attitude with which he says things. Simply unacceptable.”
As and when Pahi slowed down, Saya continued with much more gusto:
“What is he? Just an 18 year old guy. What has he achieved in this world? What does he know about life? Where does he stand before people of great accomplishments, like Athiperunar and Mathurarayar? Leave them, what about Yuvaninathan? You know what experiences he has in life, he has literally travelled all over the world, there isn’t any item in the world that he doesn’t know about, even to him, he talks with such an arrogance, I can’t help laughing at it, that little brat was teaching about God to a man like Yuvaninathan, when even your father Macham, doesn’t even advice him.”
Pahi interrupted again:
“Sir, you must please do something, it’s just going beyond limits, in fact, my husband cried that night, he had lost all his confidence, he felt so broken and disheartened. I have never seen him like that before.”
Saya continued furiously:
“Please don’t take me wrong, we know your father is a spiritual man, so he can tolerate whatever gibberish he talks and still be compassionate with him, though he doesn’t deserve it, on the contrary, the truth is, he is just an unscrupulous idiot, you must also see the way he is being adored, loved and pampered, by your mother, it is so repulsive, she literally loves him more than her own children. It is all so disgusting, they are literally spoiling him out there.”
Pahi interrupted:
“Not only him, even other kids have started following him. This Adhavan thinks of himself as one god, sometimes he goes and sleeps out there in the wilderness, on the boulders, without doing any work, without taking any food, he just keeps loafing around like great siddhars, all the girls out there love him, they just flirt with him, the womenfolk loves him so much, and you know what? He doesn’t eat much, so they keep trying so many things to make him eat, what nonsense? Why don’t they just go and breastfeed him? They make him look so precious, they all adore him so much. Unbelievable! Even they don’t mind lying down with him. For god’s sake, if they were not married, they would have slept with him. I myself have overheard women talking so. My god, it’s all too much. No wonder the kid is like that, the worst part is, other guys have started following him, because he gets all the goodies from the womenfolk. Even your brothers and sisters like him so much, but they don’t know that he is the reason, why your brother, who used to be so obedient, has suddenly become so rebellious and insubordinate. I bet my last penny on that, Adhavan is the reason behind all this nonsense that is happening to us.”
Saya jumped into another stream of outburst:
“Even my man was sobbing like a child, that night, he was literally killed, he spent 3 sleepless nights, after spending an hour with Adhavan. Being a woman, with our own limitations, we feel so helpless. That day, he even went to an extent of committing suicide. Of all, a man of his caliber, expects to be respected, is it wrong? And this skinny delinquent jerk, plays around with that, you know what, the worst part is people who follow him, they also mistreat us, humiliate us, insult us, the way you can’t imagine. The worst part is, he does something to us and we feel naked before him, as though all our worldly experiences, knowledge we have gained, understanding we had about life and society, greatness we have achieved, even our very basic existence, all collapses right before his arrogant, ruthless, uncivilized, disrespectful, degrading approach. It’s burning inside me, I just want to give it all back to him, right at this moment. He has made all our lives go miserable just in one hour. It’s so painful. It hurts. We must teach him a lesson.”
Pahi interrupted:
“Leave him Saya, he is just a kid, we don’t need to take revenge, but sir, we must teach them both a lesson, we should teach Adhavan good attitude and humbleness, Killivalavan kinship and gratitude. Only these things will help them in future, of course they are our kids too, if they don’t grow up to be a matured, socially responsible ones, then it is partly our mistake, so please be with us. Do help us."
After a pause, Pahi pleaded:
"Sir, you must. Only you can do it. Please.”
Then the gathering fell silent for few moments. Pahi continued:
“We all admire you, you are the most learnt one here. We respect you. We trust you. Please take care of both these guys. We don’t want any more problems because of them, as you know well, we can’t approach your father directly, Adhavan has cast a bloody magical spell over him, he always stands by his side, what may, whatever we try to tell him, it doesn’t get into his head, he just supports him blindly, including your mother, they both are spoiling them, and we all believe that is finally going to harm them the most, it will taint their hard earned good reputation. So, please take care of your parents as well as those wretched kids, of course they are good ones, but they don’t have a good, strict, teacher, you must step up to that role.”
Sova finally had her say, she talked authoritatively:
“My husband is 72 years old, throughout my days with him, I have never seen him shed a drop of tear, nor did he behave like a madman, that night, after he had a talk with Adhavan, he behaved like a possessed one, emptying bottles of imported liquors he almost drowned himself in the pond, shamelessly, he urinated in the bed, cried pitilessly in the morning hours. Your brother supports Adhavan so much, if you don’t take care of him, we know how to take care of them both, we are very serious, we want our men to walk proud, not in shame, we will do anything for it, but we trust you, as you are much a learnt men, just and socially responsible person, we leave the matters to you. Please do help us.”
Sova paused for a moment, and then continued,
“And I take this situation to formally invite you, for my daughter's betrothal, please do come, bless the couple, we all will be expecting you very much. The event is at our palace, a few miles near by your camp. Please do honor us by your presence.”
Saya was wiping the tears running down her eyes, Pahi was trying to soothe her, and Nedunenkilli consoled them:
“Ladies, first of all, I apologize for my brothers insane act, then, I assure you that I will pay my attention towards their growth, as you said, they are just kids, you must have some patience with them. Leave the matters to me, in future, if you have any problem, please report to me directly, don’t bother my parents, I don’t want them to get disturbed, then, finally, how do you manage to get so much of information without going out there?”
Pahi replied:
“Sir, we have ears everywhere, we womenfolk know everything happening to our husband, how else do you think we can manage men like Mathurarayar and Athiperunar.”
Saya said with a remorse:
“We even know that my husband is flirting with your sister Punguzali, not because he loves her, he does it purely to hurt Killivalavan and Adhavan, and do you realize how painful it is for me? See, this is what your sister and brother are doing to my life.”
With that Saya broke into tears, Pahi and Sova started to soothe her, Nedunenkilli realizing that it was time for him to leave, bid adieu, left the chariot, walked towards his horse, the guards accompanied him back to the spot they picked him up.
The travel back to his camp was painful, crowded with thoughts about his family, especially over the troubled relationship with his brother Killivalavan and the stupid standoff they had today in the presence of the public eyes; the list of horrendous complaints he was getting on the kid Adhavan, one of his father’s disciples, his one other disciple is Muthupandian, state’s arch enemy, who is being protected by his father ruthlessly, under the guise of a disciple; the brush off with the all knowing Poncetuceni, who has taken along with him, one of his most valuable asset, his brother Killivalavan, just in a flick of a moment; finally to end the day, the outpour of 3 rich women, seeking his help and intervention in their personal matters, turned out to be an unending list of complaints on his brother Killivalavan, Adhavan, his mother and his sister Punguzali. Overnight, suddenly, he felt a big burden being laid upon him, to cope with the psychological pressure he was going through, his shoulders slumped a bit to the right, his mind raced across in all directions, to find a good solution to all of his problems. When you tackle emotional situations, you can’t compromise one over another, else it may backfire and worsen the situations further. So he went through it, over and again, it was a painstaking process, he was tired, confused and emotionally beaten, he was unable to fathom the depth and spread of the problem its complexities have networked into. How many hearts would it affect? How many minds would it trouble? Unable to think any further, his mind drowsed, he needed a cool bath, a good sleep, lot of rest, and a mild supper. With that simple yearning, he felt bit light, travelled the remaining distance without much worries.
There in the racing chariot, the women were laughing out their hearts, Saya was telling Pahi:
“Incredible, that fool believed us, uh?”
Pahi said:
“Come on guys, poor fellow, we trapped him, we will give him some goodies tomorrow, to boost his spirit, we will tell him that he his the best man around, the most handsome one, the intelligent one and so on. Then, we will make others look up to him, we will raise him to a level where he would feel like a god, we will even make him question the wisdom of his own father. We will make their whole family pay for it.”
Sova said calmly:
“You did put up a good show Saya. Did you rehearse with Athiperunar?”
Saya said:
“No, actually, he acted it out for me, but that part on Punguzali, it just blurted out.”
Pahi replied:
“Yeah, we saw it, you should have not said it.”
Sova said:
“It is ok. Sometime it happens, and I think that girl is not actually after your man, she is pawning him, she must be in love with that cute ass, Adhavan. She is one fool, she doesn’t know how to express her love, so by being typically feminine, she is trying to make him feel jealous using Athiperunar.”
Pahi said:
“Everyone says, Adhavan looks so good, he must really look hot, no wonder Punguzali fell for him.”
Saya biting her lower lips, uttered:
“Then it’s my turn now, I will have my vengeance for the pain they both have inflicted upon me.”
Sova questioned:
“You mean Athiperunar and Punguzali.”
Saya confirmed:
“Yes, blood for blood, I bet, I will seduce that kid, fuck him right before Punguzali, on a day, and before Athiperunar on another day.”
Pahi winked at her and said sheepishly:
“For me.”
Saya laughed and replied:
“I will see if I can make a dude out of him, but obviously he will be mine, she took my man, I am taking her boy.”
Sova grew serious and said:
“Come on girls, don’t get into unnecessary problems, you need to learn a lot about men, some of them are smarter than what we think. Let us first kill our men, for all the pains they have inflicted upon us. We must somehow try to bring in that Adhavan, into our circle, he should run errands for us, every time they look at him they will burn with jealousy and hatred. He will be a pain in their ass. It will be so fucking painful, at the same time, we should not cross the limit, these men will have us as wives, only till the moment we are true to them, on the other hand, if they come to know that we are flirting with that dude, teasing him and having fun with him, we are nothing but useless whores to them, from then, we can’t expect even a penny out of them, they will dump us in the streets and happily get married to a young chick. We must devise a plan to get our hands on their wealth first, before we go after them.”
Pahi replied:
“Yes, I agree, we have our own limits, none of their property belongs to us.”
Saya replied:
“Yeah. I too agree with that. We need to be very careful, that doesn’t mean, I should not have my vengeance. Adhavan is my pawn, I will use him effectively against all those who have hurt us. Will that fool fall in love easily?”
Pahi said sarcastically:
“We know men. As long as they have a dick, they can be made to fall in love.”
They all laughed loud at her reply. The racing chariot belonged to Sova, she dropped one after another, in their homes and took off to her palace.
God fearing Nedunenkilli, unaware of all these wicked thoughts of the 3 rich women allowed himself to believe that they are actually in need of help, so he decided to attend Sova’s daughter’s betrothal. With that last thought in mind, he went to sleep without understanding the level and seriousness of the mistakes he has committed in the past few hours; he had crossed almost all limits, by trusting those women. He bought their heart stirring stories on his father, his father’s disciples, his mother, his brother and his sister without discussing with any of them in person, his mind cunningly avoided listening to their version of the stories; mourned for himself and deeply regretted the grievances poured out by those rich ladies; soothed his sores by consoling their worries; raised himself to a level of God and allowed himself to believe that he can solve their problems; blindly accepted that the problem is with his brother and his father’s disciple; like an omnipotent God, assured them on their behalf, when in truth, he actually doesn’t have any say over their matters; out of ignorance, underestimated the power of siddhar Macham and his wisdom; without proper understanding of the problems, accepted to pay a visit to their palace without his father’s approval, ignoring the point the family has not been invited; to soothe his pride, created a make-belief that he his better than Killivalavan, Adhavan, Sarutha, even Siddhar Macham, so he can comfortably judge their behavior and condemn them for their mistakes. The bloody reason for all this sudden change over, was his pride that has been hurt very badly, so in order to restore it, he either should make himself feel morally superior to them or degrade them to the stage, whereby, he would obviously look better than them, so he tried to find fault against those who demeaned him, his father and his own brother. He wanted them to commit mistakes. He wanted to catch hold of them red-handed and expose them to the world proudly, “See, they are also fallible?” Only that will make him feel better, morally better, rightfully better. Right amidst such a vulnerable situations he was emotionally going through, he was baited by the 3 ladies from high places, and it worked, he let himself comfortably, foolishly believe that they are righteous. He felt better, when they talked wrong about his brother, that again made him morally superior, so he again forced himself to believe that the rich women are right, by that, he has stepped into a big trouble that he will never be able to come out swimmingly. Years may pass by, whatever lame excuses he comes up with and justifies, his own guilt will kill him, sooner or later. It is just a question of time.
For Nedunenkilli, the next day morning was a bit hectic one, he spent the whole morning bent over his desk, going through the voluminous amount of information shared by his sources, he went through each one of them patiently, over many issues, ranging from a small theft at a local camp to a big uprising in the borders, he is responsible for the sovereignty of the borders that comes under his control, his job was to exactly identify ‘the information’ out of some thousands pouring in daily, most of them are on routine activities made to look big and dangerous; some specifically, are made up information deployed to get his attention, very few of them had the potential to cause uprisings, out of which, some are ploys of counterintelligence activities, played by the enemies of the state to divert his attention, that leaves him with handful of information that he should attend for that day, with the help of his men, along with other day-to-day routine activities he should monitor and control. That’s his life, going over each and every piece of information meticulously, segregating them between valuable and invaluable, then, out of the valuable, he has to sort the items and put them into various department boxes, of which, his first priority would be the ones in the national security box, he then validates all the valuable information in it and prioritizes the ones he should act upon, so throughout his life, logic has become an essential part, to an extent he started applying logics everywhere, in everything he saw, discerning it from good and bad, useful and useless, human and inhuman, ethical and unethical and so on, then he would act upon them, in precise, logical, calculative manner. But to his wonder the piece of information he obtained last night was too personal to put into any box, so he kept chewing over it, over and again, trying to get into the matter, trying to understand what has gone wrong, slowly, he started to make a conclusion, whatever it might be, if a kid doesn’t show respect to elders then he is to be corrected, so he moved Adhavan into the box ‘To be punished and corrected’, then he thought about Killivalavan, he has not shown his gratitude at the most expected moment and he his supporting trouble brewers like Adhavan and Muthupandian, so he also moved him into the box, ‘To be punished and corrected', then he thought about his mother and father, he just pushed them aside comfortably, deceptively, attributing a simple reason that they are old and not to be disturbed with such silly affairs. Then he went over Muthupandian, his pride was at stake, his ego has been hurt deeply, now he felt, how Athiperunar, Mathurarayar and Yuvaninathan would have felt, he understood their pain, so he moved Muthupandian into the box, ‘To be killed’. The nation was secure enough, he didn’t have much to worry about it, the onset of the war with northern king’s army is factually expected to be postponed for years together, as the speculations says, a deadly war is about to erupt, at any moment, against the great ruthless army of the kingdom at middle-east border, hence he could sit back and enjoy two great powers tearing apart one another, wait for the victor, then plan his moves based on the situations at that point of time, but he needs to keep an alert watch over them, at any time, their wrath may turn upon the southerners, then he might need to act upon immediately, everything should be there ready on the tables, to be deployed if situations demand so. So he issued a string of commands to his men, alerted them to be like, they would be in the wartime situations. He was almost done with his day’s work. Then, he inspected his men, when the sun was high in the skies, he slowly moved to his residence in the remote corners of the camp, attended to his family needs, had his lunch, shared his woes with his wive Prajitha, requested her company for the evening party, with that he took a short nap.
Early that evening, he left with his wife Prajitha, in an army wagon, to the palace of Yuvaninathan. Saya came running towards them, took them by her hands, invited them into the palace, it was royal welcome, as they walked in, petals of roses were thrown at them, they were garlanded with beautiful flowers and the whole place looked heavenly, royal, befitting their luxurious, princely life. Though they all know one another, Nedunenkilli was formally introduced to Athiperunar, Mathurarayar and Yuvaninathan, the trio exhibited the best of their characters, trying to win his heart, they made themselves look humble, helpful, kind, compassionate, spiritual, loving, generous and grateful. Nedunenkilli was moved by the way, they attended each and every one in their family, mainly, the respect they showed to their elders, it was so beautiful, he appreciated all of it heartily, his face was all smiles, he kept smiling over and again, after a very long time, he was smiling from his heart, all their elite men were introduced to him, they praised him, discussed with him, sought his advice, what not, he was treated like a war hero, he was literally elated to the position of God, which he foolishly, but heartily accepted it, that which can be seen in his unending hearty smiles, husband and wife together, they loved all of it, they kept smiling throughout the event. As Nedunenkilli was floating in adoration, Sova approached them and requested them to bless their couple, when they moved to the stage, the couple fell to their feet, seeking their blessings, that was the highest point of adoration, the respect given only to ones parents and grandparents, was also given to them, he stopped smiling, he was almost moved to tears, for all the humiliation laid upon him yesterday, here, he was bestowed with love, respect and adoration. Then slowly, Saya took them upstairs, accompanied by Sova, Pahi and their men, to their private study, well furnished with manuscripts, painting, sculptures, and all items, that were very costly, rare and artistic, they sat comfortably on the floor, over a soft duvet, he was requested to take the center seat, after formal discussions over many things, including business, art, politics and war, Sava offered the men, each a large cup of old cellar roman wine, they leisurely sipped on it, slowly a warmth grew inside them. Mathurarayar opened the discussion:
“What you see is not even half of what used to be, you don’t know, how much of pain and sacrifice we have put into building this, what all we have done to our people, that ungrateful bastard, what does he know about us?”
He paused and continued:
“Sorry sir, sorry for using that word, every manuscript in this library was bought from your family and still, that day, your brother didn’t even try to stop Adhavan, when he went on making us feel like a lame, wobbling, underground creatures. For all, what we have done to your family and the uncivilized tribe out there, we were literally back stabbed. Sorry, that is what I would say Yuvani. I am not trying to boast ourselves, rather, the point we would like to make is, both Killivalavan and Adhavan should be taught a lesson, they should know, how to behave with elders, especially with the people from high societies and men of great accomplishments, that day, he literally went on tearing us into pieces, why did we go all the way Yuvani, we actually didn’t go looking for him, we went in just for one reason, we trusted what Sarutha said, nothing else, on the contrary, we faced such a humiliation because we trusted Sarutha.”
He looked as Sova and said:
“What do I have to do with that guy Sova? Nothing. I don’t have anything with them, but you know, what sort of humiliation we went through that day. Words here spread around like fire Sova, earlier, people who even dare not look at us straight are now making fool of us Sova, you know what sort of comments they pass around, when we go that side. Every nerve is burning inside me Yuvani, I just want to thrash all those people. I can’t wait to get rid of them.”
Athiperunar said sarcastically:
“That is how it would be, that is how they will throw garbage at us. What we need to do is just to take it and rub it off. That is life.”
Mathurarayar replied:
“Nonsense.”
Saya, said:
“Why you guys are spoiling their mood, they didn’t come here to listen to our sad stories.”
Pahi interrupted:
“Sorry sir, we apologize for their unruly behavior, it’s just that these guys are so pissed off with Adhavan’s words and Killivalavan’s silence.”
Athiperunar said:
“Yes, we are inhuman. We are beasts. We don’t know anything else other than fucking. Right? That’s how they are making us feel sir.”
Mathurarayar joined him:
“Now, that is how these working class is looking at us Yuvani, all our hard earned respect and reputation has been spoilt overnight, just like that, they literally severed it away from us. It is a theft. What are we going to do about that, Yuvani? We need to do something. We really need to do something about it. Shouldn’t we?”
Athiperunar said:
“Simple, they took what is precious to us so we will take away what is precious to them.”
Pahi intervened;
“Come on guys, they are just kids, they are taking their first step into a social life, they will come into terms with it soon.”
Mathurarayar said harshly:
“They are not kids Pahi, No sane kid will use that word. Fine, leave me, what about Yuvani?”
Athiperunar commented:
“Then it is simple, he is either insane or we will make him go insane.”
They all remained silent for a moment.
Nedunenkilli was taken back by the wrath, raging across the group. He kept to himself.
Mathurarayar unable to contain his anger anymore, emptied his glass of wine and stormed out of the room angrily. Sova ran behind, trying to convince him. Before leaving the room, he turned back stylishly and said, “Either you kill him Yuvani or I will kill them both.”
Athiperunar raised his hand and said:
“I’m with you.”
Then Athiperunar turned to Yuvaninathan and talked to him in whispers.
Saya turned to Nedunenkilli and told him:
“See, this is the pain we go through daily, this is what I told you, please do something.”
Then she whispered very softly that only he can hear, but was overheard by his gorgeous, beautiful wife:
“It is not him, Its Adhavan. They are very angry about him. You kill him, I mean, if they don’t see his face anywhere in this land, they will forget him, all of it, they will leave Killivalavan, your family, and your tribe, untouched. Please do it as a help, please, I will always be grateful to you. See, I can’t let these guys out with such a bad temper, they will not only harm him, they will harm everyone who is being good to him. You can’t leave it to them. They are not good enough to handle such sensitive matters.”
Nedunenkilli raised his voice and said with an air of authority:
“Please leave this to me. Killivalavan is my brother and Adhavan is my father’s disciple, no one can better reach them than me. I will teach them a lesson, make them feel sad for what they did to you.”
Athiperunar’s gesture expressed obvious dissatisfaction.
Yuvaninathan said:
“I don’t think you understood the situation well. Let me explain. It is unbearable pain. It is stifling humiliation. It is our hard earned stand in the society and a great reputation that has been crushed outrageously by the youths trained by your father. How will you give it back to them? How? Can you make them feel how we felt? Can you take away what they took from us? Can you inflict the same pain that we suffered?”
Saya mollified Nedunenkilli:
“Please say yes. Please. I will take care of it.”
Nedunenkilli suddenly become a God, under the spell cast by Saya, he confidently said:
“I will make sure they suffer twice the agony you people have experienced. You can mark my words.”
Yuvaninathan raised his voice and appreciated him:
“Well said my man, well, you really talk like a man. I do appreciate it, but everything has time frame to it. When? How long?”
Saya replied for him:
“Just give us one full year Yuvani. It will be more than enough to transfer all the pain and humiliation onto them. In addition, we will push Adhavan to an extent that he will either commit suicide or go mad, run naked and go wild in the streets, like a lunatic. We will manipulate the people who adored him, we will turn them against him, make them spit on him, curse him, and stone him to death.”
Still Athiperunar objected:
“If you are not doing this in a year, you better leave the matter to me and Mathurarayar. We will take care of it from then.”
Nedunenkilli said,
“You should learn to trust us. I think we are agreed.”
Saya was so happy, she raised a toast to the occasion and marked that day in her calendar.
Exactly at the time, though his body was under the huge neem tree, guarded well by the divine goddess Makali, Macham penetrated Nedunenkilli’s mind, went through everything that was discussed and agreed. No sooner Macham entered his mind, Nedunenkilli started feeling uncomfortable with the group, so he thanked them for the day and left the group sooner than expected. Sun has set when they came out of the palace, throughout the way back home, he seemed to be restless. Macham literally took over his wife Prajitha and tried to convince him through her:
She said:
“You better have a word with Killi, before you proceed any further on this matter, for god’s sake, he is a grown up adult Nedu, you must discuss with him before you make any decision. We can’t believe these people. I seriously don’t understand why you are not willing to listen to their part of the story. Are you scared that they will be proved to be innocent and then you will lose your chance to prove that you are better than them? I am very serious about it Nedu.”
Nedunenkilli defended harshly:
“No! In my eyes, Mathurarayar, Athiperunar and Yuvaninathan are righteous. I don’t need a proof. I will gather them if I need a one and there isn’t anything there for us to discuss about it, either we take back our word, or allow them to act, else we act in accordance with them, without revealing that we are doing this for them. I have made my decision.”
She again raised her doubts:
“What about Adhavan Nedu, he is your father’s disciple, we don’t have any rights over him, you must have a word with your father, before you take any action on him.”
Nedunenkilli selectively objected:
“I tell you again, don’t bring my father into this, Adhavan is in my land, at my home, eating my mother's food. I will make sure he pays for all the ill reputation he has brought upon my mother and my father. And I warn you again, please don’t get involved in this, he will pay for it, I will make him pay for it. His pain will wash the stains laid on my family. Don’t again try to compromise on my family pride.”
There, beneath the neem tree Macham’s heart sank deep. Nedunenkilli has started to mask his evil doings with family pride and family sentiments. He was really worried with his dishonest approach, he thought for long moments, opened his eyes and called out for Adhavan, he came running to him. Macham looked into his eyes and asked:
“Are you strong enough?”
Though Adhavan didn’t understand the depth of the question, he blurted:
“Yes, I think, I am strong enough.”
Macham replied:
“Your Guru has decided to act through you. You will see lots of changes happening around, be focused, don’t lose faith, for you have been selected at a very young age to carry out his will. Just be yourself. The test of time will wither away as faith grows stronger, day by day. You will have the immense blessings of my guru.”
Then Macham sent off Adhavan, closed his eyes and spoke to Nedunenkilli through Prajitha:
“All right, just for a year. By then, if you have not achieved what you guys have proposed to achieve, you will wash your hands off this matter, forever, else I will go to your father, myself, directly.”
Nedunenkilli was deeply enraged by the reply, it was clearly visible in his face, it grew stern, lips were pulled in, eyes were restless, he looked like a devil in a neat disposition. He didn’t reply her back, he remained silent without answering her warning. The first step he took in his latest mission, caused the first rift in the sweet relationship with his wife Prajitha. They remained silent throughout the return journey. The silence was painful. It did hurt both.
There at the private study, Pahi was yelling:
“We made it. Wow! Incredible! We made it Athu. We made it. We made those guys believe us.”
Saya hugged her and shouted:
“We will kill them all through their own blood.”
Yuvaninathan was not excited, rather he asked them both:
“Now. What is the plan? How are you going to do this? Will it happen the way we expect it to happen?”
Pahi requested:
“Please Yuvani, leave this to women, we have our own knack of doing things, we have our own ways, we know how to make men cry?”
Saya winked at Athiperunar and said:
“Don’t we?”
Athiperunar said:
“I like it, please do it, uh.”
Mathurarayar said:
“I won’t believe that until it happens Pahi. I will wait for one whole year. If you don’t make it by then, then he is all ours.”
Sova looked at Yuvaninathan and said:
“Wait and see what women can do. You will all enjoy it. Have fun. As to successfully start this project, please take all of us to laughing hills for the next full moon day celebrations, you see, what all happens from then.”
As they were enjoying the first initial moments of great triumph, one of Yuvaninathan’s man came running in, whispered in his ear:
“Master, one of your ships have been caught in the storm and all goods have been lost.”
Nedunenkilli was obviously surprised by the daring intervention of the two local guards, either they didn’t know who they were, or they knew them well to be the cavalry of the mighty eastern vendhars, the foremost is ignorance, a forgivable stupidity, so can be forgiven, whereas, the latter is vexatious, could either turn out to be an unforgivable intervention or a futile attempt on his life. In the given location, in the given time, among his group of elite soldiers, the first possibility of the logic seems to be totally impossible, as everyone would have known them, the moment they saw them, their cavalry, their flag, their men and their outfit, were all self explanatory. The second possibility looked ridiculous, for the men standing out before him, stood so politely, with their heads bowed down, so he sensed no evil in their intentions, actually, he hoped they had some valid good reason for making such an audacious intervention, in fact, Nedunenkilli, started liking them, though the blockading of a royal cavalry is a punishable crime and an act to be punished immediately, without an official hearing, the men out there were smiling, they looked humble, especially they stood with their heads bowed down, that was more than enough to appease Nedunenkilli, irrespective of whether they are proved to be guilty or not, for in his personal lexicon, those were the signs of good attitude, respect for elders, power and authority, so he overruled the law and decided not to arrest them. The third possibility looked much more ridiculous, just for the simple reason, all his men would have been dead by now, if they have come to kill them, and they would have not come out so openly, they would have launched their attack from the nearby hideouts. So he further scrutinized the second possibility, from there, he could see many more such odds, stretching out before him, by the general disposition of the guards, he was able to perceive that they are just guards, nothing more, rather, he expected the ones, who have ordered the blockade to wait for him secretively, somewhere around the place of the happenings, for if he was a male or a group of males, he would have come to him straight, along with their guards, so it must be a woman, who pretty much didn’t want to disclose her identity, before a group of strangers, who were all men, for the fear of losing her reputation, or it could have been that she has come up with petitions that she didn’t want to disclose publicly, then, it is highly unlikely for her to have come alone, so it must be more than one, might be, they would have come with few more guards and maids, so he moved past his men, rode along with their guards, without hesitation, leaving his own men waiting for him. That is the mind of Nedunenkilli, a man of logics, who had rarely made a mistake in the war front, is now approaching an erratic human problem, unfortunately, he is not the man to deal with humanity and its problems, for he misunderstood the very simple fact of life, human beings are not machines, they have their own complexities, which knowingly, deceitfully, can’t be comfortably grouped under the box emotions, then, almost all items in life, would be recategorized under the ignored, purple (it is not red) colored box, labelled, ‘senses, instincts and emotions’, very few, negligible quantities would be grouped under the white colored box ‘logics’, so as per the science of predictions, all his plans based on logics, will go for a fix, they are doomed to fail for sure, in life related matters, owing to the simple truth, ‘life is not all logics’, so the biggest mistake he made here, is to trust a woman, who dared to intervene the royal cavalry, sought its commander in privacy, that too without disclosing her identity—a sure sign of spreading evilness, a woman who dared to break rules once, will break the rules again and it could be for any reason. Nedunenkilli’s logical mind failed to apply ethics, morality and common sense, over his sheer logical conclusions, though he was highly logical, he failed to be wise, and so he decided to meet the ‘Who?’ and he failed right at that moment, that was his first step into her trap, he foolishly let a third person approach him, bypassing his superiors, in case of political issues and his father or the concerned, in case of family matters. When he stepped in, he didn’t know that it is both, he rode briskly, confidently, towards the chariot, along with their guards.
He was right, his logical conclusions have never failed him, there stood a big chariot, a closed one, driven by four rough beasts, majestically, under the shades of an enormous peepul tree, in the center of an expansive farm. When he got down and walked towards the chariot, a smiling face opened the door and welcomed him in. He climbed up and stood mesmerized at the extravaganza of the interior decoration, what he saw was really amazing, the interiors of the chariot looked heavenly; the golden light emanating from the antique oil lamps, fixed at the corners, permeated every nook and corner of the chamber; the white robes made of white silk, draping the white walls, fell smoothly, covering almost all its sides, contained the glorious, suffusing, golden white light within; the red colored, hand woven, intricate designs, stood out fantastically on the white robes, it glittered like ornaments, reflecting the golden white light, back and forth, everywhere, which then mixed sensuously with the exotic fragrance, emanating from the affluent ladies, presenting an atmosphere effused with extravagant richness. He felt like he was in the heavens. The tall woman of moderate complexion, who smilingly welcomed him in, was inches taller than him. She looked pompous with her heavy set hips, slim waist, sensuous lips and large roving eyes, she talked in whispers, as though, everything she was saying is of utmost importance and to be considered highly secretive, she kept moving from subject to subject, artificially, avoiding straight questions and straight answers, though her eyes seemed to look fixed and oriented, her mind was literally spiraling out of control. She introduced herself as the wife of Athiperunar, started speaking about him and Nedunenkilli, in great praise and honor, along with lots of inquiries about Macham, Sarutha and Killivalavan.
Nedunenkilli interrupted and asked her:
“How do I call you Madam?”
She smiled at him and replied:
“My name is Saya, please call me by my name.”
Then she pointed at 2 short, round, big fat ladies, sitting next to her, whose hips were twice the size of their bosoms, the heavily built one with dark complexion was called Pahi, and the flabby one with fair complexion was called Sova. They were staring openly at him. Pahi was introduced as the wife of Mathurarayar and Sova as the wife of Yuvaninathan.
Nedunenkilli stored their names in his mind, in an easily recognizable manner, Saya, the tall, stooping one, is the wife of Athiperunar, Pahi, the fat black one, is the wife of Mathurarayar and Sova, the fat white one, is the wife of Yuvaninathan. Confident, that he can recall each of their names without confusion, he started conversing with them fluently. He said:
“Well ladies, I hope, you have not stopped me to introduce yourselves. Isn’t it?”
Pahi replied:
“No sir, of course not, we are here to seek your advice and help. We are very much in need of it. Our men are so troubled with the recent happenings at the laughing hills and they are burning with rightful, strong indignation. We want to give them some peace and we believe you can help us a lot.”
Saya voiced along with her:
“See, we want all of us to be happy, we don’t want anyone to be hurt, it is not that we are against anyone specifically, so you see, we just want to be of help, do something about it rather than sitting idle.”
Sova remained silent throughout the conversation and continued to remain so, listening carefully to everything being said, apparently, she looked old and was leading the group.
Nedunenkilli was moved by the plea, it always had a special ringing effect, when it was being made by the ladies of high places, especially when they look up to you with reverence, seeking very much your personal intervention, but he didn’t know how to probe their minds and see what was lying behind their thick veil of pretending goodness, rather, he started listening to their stories blindly, he started believing in them, without making any necessary validations, so their stories along with their tears and pleas, sank deep into him, he felt an immediate urge to do something, predominantly for Saya as he was personally touched by her caring, motherly nature. He let himself slowly fall into their trap. He asked them politely:
“Ladies, I would be happy If I could be of help, but how, what do you want me to do?”
They all remained silent for a moment, the women knew, they need to make it look very logical, to earn his trust and woo him further into their trap. So Saya opened up with her first, big, fat lie:
“We all just love the way your mother runs the business, and we adore your father, he is so supernatural, psychic, extraordinary and all that stuff, but we can’t understand why he is so biased? Anyhow, our simple minds can understand his ways. Leave it. We all knew what happened, your father took a fugitive as his disciple and your brother befriended him against your wish, obviously, it must have hurt you deeply.”
She poked him further:
“All these days you have been taking care of him and he was literally following your steps, it was all so good, in fact, we thought you were his hero, then, all of a sudden, from nowhere, this guy jumped out of heaven, what is his name? The dark one....”
Pahi uttered:
“Muthupandian.”
Saya continued to weave her web:
“Yeah, that guy only, and the next day your brother takes his side. He should have at least some gratitude left in him, it so pathetic, of all, what you have done to him and to your family, today’s incident should have broken your heart, isn’t it? The least, an honest, hardworking man would have expected. We all understand how painful and insulting it must have been, we really feel sorry for it.”
Saya paused and continued:
“Oh! It’s so terrible, your father is so good at heart, he is so generous, he even takes a state’s enemy as his disciple, that is all fine and marvelous, but where does it all lead to? We just can’t blame him, that is his nature, at least your mother and your brother should have stood by your side. So ungrateful! So unfamily! I least expected this from Sarutha and your brother, you must have seen how she jumped and danced, after your father invited that Muthupandian to stay with them.”
Pahi interrupted:
“Fortunately, he was not there, to see all those things, else it would have been very painful.”
Slowly the women wove a web of lies, made out of facts, so that it looks like truth, but in fact, their subjective conclusions are nothing but a heap of ugly lies, and Nedunenkilli walked into it all by himself without resistance.
Saya continued:
“Why don’t people care about others feelings? Why do they hurt one another? Why? That too within the same family, it is all so bad. You know what, it all looks absolutely ridiculous. Of all, how it would pain, when people are ungrateful. Ah, I have experienced it myself, the pain of betrayal, the pain of ingratitude, the life as such. And who is that little spoilt brat, that weird kid?”
Pahi interrupted:
“The slim one uh, that kid, I think, his name is Adhavan.”
Saya blasted out:
“Oh no! Have you ever talked to him? My god, he is such a spoilt brat, with a drastic, disgusting, rotten attitude. I bet, you would have never seen such a person, with such an attitude, in whole of your life, not even in king of kings, and when he opens his loud mouth, you know what, he talks like he is god.”
Pahi interrupted and said sarcastically:
“He just didn’t say that out. That’s all. But he walks like god, talks like a god, as though he knows everything about everyone, in fact, he behaves like a one, he is out there only to teach people, to him, everyone other than himself are just despicable fools. My goodness gracious! You must have seen him talking, especially his degrading language, and the attitude with which he says things. Simply unacceptable.”
As and when Pahi slowed down, Saya continued with much more gusto:
“What is he? Just an 18 year old guy. What has he achieved in this world? What does he know about life? Where does he stand before people of great accomplishments, like Athiperunar and Mathurarayar? Leave them, what about Yuvaninathan? You know what experiences he has in life, he has literally travelled all over the world, there isn’t any item in the world that he doesn’t know about, even to him, he talks with such an arrogance, I can’t help laughing at it, that little brat was teaching about God to a man like Yuvaninathan, when even your father Macham, doesn’t even advice him.”
Pahi interrupted again:
“Sir, you must please do something, it’s just going beyond limits, in fact, my husband cried that night, he had lost all his confidence, he felt so broken and disheartened. I have never seen him like that before.”
Saya continued furiously:
“Please don’t take me wrong, we know your father is a spiritual man, so he can tolerate whatever gibberish he talks and still be compassionate with him, though he doesn’t deserve it, on the contrary, the truth is, he is just an unscrupulous idiot, you must also see the way he is being adored, loved and pampered, by your mother, it is so repulsive, she literally loves him more than her own children. It is all so disgusting, they are literally spoiling him out there.”
Pahi interrupted:
“Not only him, even other kids have started following him. This Adhavan thinks of himself as one god, sometimes he goes and sleeps out there in the wilderness, on the boulders, without doing any work, without taking any food, he just keeps loafing around like great siddhars, all the girls out there love him, they just flirt with him, the womenfolk loves him so much, and you know what? He doesn’t eat much, so they keep trying so many things to make him eat, what nonsense? Why don’t they just go and breastfeed him? They make him look so precious, they all adore him so much. Unbelievable! Even they don’t mind lying down with him. For god’s sake, if they were not married, they would have slept with him. I myself have overheard women talking so. My god, it’s all too much. No wonder the kid is like that, the worst part is, other guys have started following him, because he gets all the goodies from the womenfolk. Even your brothers and sisters like him so much, but they don’t know that he is the reason, why your brother, who used to be so obedient, has suddenly become so rebellious and insubordinate. I bet my last penny on that, Adhavan is the reason behind all this nonsense that is happening to us.”
Saya jumped into another stream of outburst:
“Even my man was sobbing like a child, that night, he was literally killed, he spent 3 sleepless nights, after spending an hour with Adhavan. Being a woman, with our own limitations, we feel so helpless. That day, he even went to an extent of committing suicide. Of all, a man of his caliber, expects to be respected, is it wrong? And this skinny delinquent jerk, plays around with that, you know what, the worst part is people who follow him, they also mistreat us, humiliate us, insult us, the way you can’t imagine. The worst part is, he does something to us and we feel naked before him, as though all our worldly experiences, knowledge we have gained, understanding we had about life and society, greatness we have achieved, even our very basic existence, all collapses right before his arrogant, ruthless, uncivilized, disrespectful, degrading approach. It’s burning inside me, I just want to give it all back to him, right at this moment. He has made all our lives go miserable just in one hour. It’s so painful. It hurts. We must teach him a lesson.”
Pahi interrupted:
“Leave him Saya, he is just a kid, we don’t need to take revenge, but sir, we must teach them both a lesson, we should teach Adhavan good attitude and humbleness, Killivalavan kinship and gratitude. Only these things will help them in future, of course they are our kids too, if they don’t grow up to be a matured, socially responsible ones, then it is partly our mistake, so please be with us. Do help us."
After a pause, Pahi pleaded:
"Sir, you must. Only you can do it. Please.”
Then the gathering fell silent for few moments. Pahi continued:
“We all admire you, you are the most learnt one here. We respect you. We trust you. Please take care of both these guys. We don’t want any more problems because of them, as you know well, we can’t approach your father directly, Adhavan has cast a bloody magical spell over him, he always stands by his side, what may, whatever we try to tell him, it doesn’t get into his head, he just supports him blindly, including your mother, they both are spoiling them, and we all believe that is finally going to harm them the most, it will taint their hard earned good reputation. So, please take care of your parents as well as those wretched kids, of course they are good ones, but they don’t have a good, strict, teacher, you must step up to that role.”
Sova finally had her say, she talked authoritatively:
“My husband is 72 years old, throughout my days with him, I have never seen him shed a drop of tear, nor did he behave like a madman, that night, after he had a talk with Adhavan, he behaved like a possessed one, emptying bottles of imported liquors he almost drowned himself in the pond, shamelessly, he urinated in the bed, cried pitilessly in the morning hours. Your brother supports Adhavan so much, if you don’t take care of him, we know how to take care of them both, we are very serious, we want our men to walk proud, not in shame, we will do anything for it, but we trust you, as you are much a learnt men, just and socially responsible person, we leave the matters to you. Please do help us.”
Sova paused for a moment, and then continued,
“And I take this situation to formally invite you, for my daughter's betrothal, please do come, bless the couple, we all will be expecting you very much. The event is at our palace, a few miles near by your camp. Please do honor us by your presence.”
Saya was wiping the tears running down her eyes, Pahi was trying to soothe her, and Nedunenkilli consoled them:
“Ladies, first of all, I apologize for my brothers insane act, then, I assure you that I will pay my attention towards their growth, as you said, they are just kids, you must have some patience with them. Leave the matters to me, in future, if you have any problem, please report to me directly, don’t bother my parents, I don’t want them to get disturbed, then, finally, how do you manage to get so much of information without going out there?”
Pahi replied:
“Sir, we have ears everywhere, we womenfolk know everything happening to our husband, how else do you think we can manage men like Mathurarayar and Athiperunar.”
Saya said with a remorse:
“We even know that my husband is flirting with your sister Punguzali, not because he loves her, he does it purely to hurt Killivalavan and Adhavan, and do you realize how painful it is for me? See, this is what your sister and brother are doing to my life.”
With that Saya broke into tears, Pahi and Sova started to soothe her, Nedunenkilli realizing that it was time for him to leave, bid adieu, left the chariot, walked towards his horse, the guards accompanied him back to the spot they picked him up.
The travel back to his camp was painful, crowded with thoughts about his family, especially over the troubled relationship with his brother Killivalavan and the stupid standoff they had today in the presence of the public eyes; the list of horrendous complaints he was getting on the kid Adhavan, one of his father’s disciples, his one other disciple is Muthupandian, state’s arch enemy, who is being protected by his father ruthlessly, under the guise of a disciple; the brush off with the all knowing Poncetuceni, who has taken along with him, one of his most valuable asset, his brother Killivalavan, just in a flick of a moment; finally to end the day, the outpour of 3 rich women, seeking his help and intervention in their personal matters, turned out to be an unending list of complaints on his brother Killivalavan, Adhavan, his mother and his sister Punguzali. Overnight, suddenly, he felt a big burden being laid upon him, to cope with the psychological pressure he was going through, his shoulders slumped a bit to the right, his mind raced across in all directions, to find a good solution to all of his problems. When you tackle emotional situations, you can’t compromise one over another, else it may backfire and worsen the situations further. So he went through it, over and again, it was a painstaking process, he was tired, confused and emotionally beaten, he was unable to fathom the depth and spread of the problem its complexities have networked into. How many hearts would it affect? How many minds would it trouble? Unable to think any further, his mind drowsed, he needed a cool bath, a good sleep, lot of rest, and a mild supper. With that simple yearning, he felt bit light, travelled the remaining distance without much worries.
There in the racing chariot, the women were laughing out their hearts, Saya was telling Pahi:
“Incredible, that fool believed us, uh?”
Pahi said:
“Come on guys, poor fellow, we trapped him, we will give him some goodies tomorrow, to boost his spirit, we will tell him that he his the best man around, the most handsome one, the intelligent one and so on. Then, we will make others look up to him, we will raise him to a level where he would feel like a god, we will even make him question the wisdom of his own father. We will make their whole family pay for it.”
Sova said calmly:
“You did put up a good show Saya. Did you rehearse with Athiperunar?”
Saya said:
“No, actually, he acted it out for me, but that part on Punguzali, it just blurted out.”
Pahi replied:
“Yeah, we saw it, you should have not said it.”
Sova said:
“It is ok. Sometime it happens, and I think that girl is not actually after your man, she is pawning him, she must be in love with that cute ass, Adhavan. She is one fool, she doesn’t know how to express her love, so by being typically feminine, she is trying to make him feel jealous using Athiperunar.”
Pahi said:
“Everyone says, Adhavan looks so good, he must really look hot, no wonder Punguzali fell for him.”
Saya biting her lower lips, uttered:
“Then it’s my turn now, I will have my vengeance for the pain they both have inflicted upon me.”
Sova questioned:
“You mean Athiperunar and Punguzali.”
Saya confirmed:
“Yes, blood for blood, I bet, I will seduce that kid, fuck him right before Punguzali, on a day, and before Athiperunar on another day.”
Pahi winked at her and said sheepishly:
“For me.”
Saya laughed and replied:
“I will see if I can make a dude out of him, but obviously he will be mine, she took my man, I am taking her boy.”
Sova grew serious and said:
“Come on girls, don’t get into unnecessary problems, you need to learn a lot about men, some of them are smarter than what we think. Let us first kill our men, for all the pains they have inflicted upon us. We must somehow try to bring in that Adhavan, into our circle, he should run errands for us, every time they look at him they will burn with jealousy and hatred. He will be a pain in their ass. It will be so fucking painful, at the same time, we should not cross the limit, these men will have us as wives, only till the moment we are true to them, on the other hand, if they come to know that we are flirting with that dude, teasing him and having fun with him, we are nothing but useless whores to them, from then, we can’t expect even a penny out of them, they will dump us in the streets and happily get married to a young chick. We must devise a plan to get our hands on their wealth first, before we go after them.”
Pahi replied:
“Yes, I agree, we have our own limits, none of their property belongs to us.”
Saya replied:
“Yeah. I too agree with that. We need to be very careful, that doesn’t mean, I should not have my vengeance. Adhavan is my pawn, I will use him effectively against all those who have hurt us. Will that fool fall in love easily?”
Pahi said sarcastically:
“We know men. As long as they have a dick, they can be made to fall in love.”
They all laughed loud at her reply. The racing chariot belonged to Sova, she dropped one after another, in their homes and took off to her palace.
God fearing Nedunenkilli, unaware of all these wicked thoughts of the 3 rich women allowed himself to believe that they are actually in need of help, so he decided to attend Sova’s daughter’s betrothal. With that last thought in mind, he went to sleep without understanding the level and seriousness of the mistakes he has committed in the past few hours; he had crossed almost all limits, by trusting those women. He bought their heart stirring stories on his father, his father’s disciples, his mother, his brother and his sister without discussing with any of them in person, his mind cunningly avoided listening to their version of the stories; mourned for himself and deeply regretted the grievances poured out by those rich ladies; soothed his sores by consoling their worries; raised himself to a level of God and allowed himself to believe that he can solve their problems; blindly accepted that the problem is with his brother and his father’s disciple; like an omnipotent God, assured them on their behalf, when in truth, he actually doesn’t have any say over their matters; out of ignorance, underestimated the power of siddhar Macham and his wisdom; without proper understanding of the problems, accepted to pay a visit to their palace without his father’s approval, ignoring the point the family has not been invited; to soothe his pride, created a make-belief that he his better than Killivalavan, Adhavan, Sarutha, even Siddhar Macham, so he can comfortably judge their behavior and condemn them for their mistakes. The bloody reason for all this sudden change over, was his pride that has been hurt very badly, so in order to restore it, he either should make himself feel morally superior to them or degrade them to the stage, whereby, he would obviously look better than them, so he tried to find fault against those who demeaned him, his father and his own brother. He wanted them to commit mistakes. He wanted to catch hold of them red-handed and expose them to the world proudly, “See, they are also fallible?” Only that will make him feel better, morally better, rightfully better. Right amidst such a vulnerable situations he was emotionally going through, he was baited by the 3 ladies from high places, and it worked, he let himself comfortably, foolishly believe that they are righteous. He felt better, when they talked wrong about his brother, that again made him morally superior, so he again forced himself to believe that the rich women are right, by that, he has stepped into a big trouble that he will never be able to come out swimmingly. Years may pass by, whatever lame excuses he comes up with and justifies, his own guilt will kill him, sooner or later. It is just a question of time.
For Nedunenkilli, the next day morning was a bit hectic one, he spent the whole morning bent over his desk, going through the voluminous amount of information shared by his sources, he went through each one of them patiently, over many issues, ranging from a small theft at a local camp to a big uprising in the borders, he is responsible for the sovereignty of the borders that comes under his control, his job was to exactly identify ‘the information’ out of some thousands pouring in daily, most of them are on routine activities made to look big and dangerous; some specifically, are made up information deployed to get his attention, very few of them had the potential to cause uprisings, out of which, some are ploys of counterintelligence activities, played by the enemies of the state to divert his attention, that leaves him with handful of information that he should attend for that day, with the help of his men, along with other day-to-day routine activities he should monitor and control. That’s his life, going over each and every piece of information meticulously, segregating them between valuable and invaluable, then, out of the valuable, he has to sort the items and put them into various department boxes, of which, his first priority would be the ones in the national security box, he then validates all the valuable information in it and prioritizes the ones he should act upon, so throughout his life, logic has become an essential part, to an extent he started applying logics everywhere, in everything he saw, discerning it from good and bad, useful and useless, human and inhuman, ethical and unethical and so on, then he would act upon them, in precise, logical, calculative manner. But to his wonder the piece of information he obtained last night was too personal to put into any box, so he kept chewing over it, over and again, trying to get into the matter, trying to understand what has gone wrong, slowly, he started to make a conclusion, whatever it might be, if a kid doesn’t show respect to elders then he is to be corrected, so he moved Adhavan into the box ‘To be punished and corrected’, then he thought about Killivalavan, he has not shown his gratitude at the most expected moment and he his supporting trouble brewers like Adhavan and Muthupandian, so he also moved him into the box, ‘To be punished and corrected', then he thought about his mother and father, he just pushed them aside comfortably, deceptively, attributing a simple reason that they are old and not to be disturbed with such silly affairs. Then he went over Muthupandian, his pride was at stake, his ego has been hurt deeply, now he felt, how Athiperunar, Mathurarayar and Yuvaninathan would have felt, he understood their pain, so he moved Muthupandian into the box, ‘To be killed’. The nation was secure enough, he didn’t have much to worry about it, the onset of the war with northern king’s army is factually expected to be postponed for years together, as the speculations says, a deadly war is about to erupt, at any moment, against the great ruthless army of the kingdom at middle-east border, hence he could sit back and enjoy two great powers tearing apart one another, wait for the victor, then plan his moves based on the situations at that point of time, but he needs to keep an alert watch over them, at any time, their wrath may turn upon the southerners, then he might need to act upon immediately, everything should be there ready on the tables, to be deployed if situations demand so. So he issued a string of commands to his men, alerted them to be like, they would be in the wartime situations. He was almost done with his day’s work. Then, he inspected his men, when the sun was high in the skies, he slowly moved to his residence in the remote corners of the camp, attended to his family needs, had his lunch, shared his woes with his wive Prajitha, requested her company for the evening party, with that he took a short nap.
Early that evening, he left with his wife Prajitha, in an army wagon, to the palace of Yuvaninathan. Saya came running towards them, took them by her hands, invited them into the palace, it was royal welcome, as they walked in, petals of roses were thrown at them, they were garlanded with beautiful flowers and the whole place looked heavenly, royal, befitting their luxurious, princely life. Though they all know one another, Nedunenkilli was formally introduced to Athiperunar, Mathurarayar and Yuvaninathan, the trio exhibited the best of their characters, trying to win his heart, they made themselves look humble, helpful, kind, compassionate, spiritual, loving, generous and grateful. Nedunenkilli was moved by the way, they attended each and every one in their family, mainly, the respect they showed to their elders, it was so beautiful, he appreciated all of it heartily, his face was all smiles, he kept smiling over and again, after a very long time, he was smiling from his heart, all their elite men were introduced to him, they praised him, discussed with him, sought his advice, what not, he was treated like a war hero, he was literally elated to the position of God, which he foolishly, but heartily accepted it, that which can be seen in his unending hearty smiles, husband and wife together, they loved all of it, they kept smiling throughout the event. As Nedunenkilli was floating in adoration, Sova approached them and requested them to bless their couple, when they moved to the stage, the couple fell to their feet, seeking their blessings, that was the highest point of adoration, the respect given only to ones parents and grandparents, was also given to them, he stopped smiling, he was almost moved to tears, for all the humiliation laid upon him yesterday, here, he was bestowed with love, respect and adoration. Then slowly, Saya took them upstairs, accompanied by Sova, Pahi and their men, to their private study, well furnished with manuscripts, painting, sculptures, and all items, that were very costly, rare and artistic, they sat comfortably on the floor, over a soft duvet, he was requested to take the center seat, after formal discussions over many things, including business, art, politics and war, Sava offered the men, each a large cup of old cellar roman wine, they leisurely sipped on it, slowly a warmth grew inside them. Mathurarayar opened the discussion:
“What you see is not even half of what used to be, you don’t know, how much of pain and sacrifice we have put into building this, what all we have done to our people, that ungrateful bastard, what does he know about us?”
He paused and continued:
“Sorry sir, sorry for using that word, every manuscript in this library was bought from your family and still, that day, your brother didn’t even try to stop Adhavan, when he went on making us feel like a lame, wobbling, underground creatures. For all, what we have done to your family and the uncivilized tribe out there, we were literally back stabbed. Sorry, that is what I would say Yuvani. I am not trying to boast ourselves, rather, the point we would like to make is, both Killivalavan and Adhavan should be taught a lesson, they should know, how to behave with elders, especially with the people from high societies and men of great accomplishments, that day, he literally went on tearing us into pieces, why did we go all the way Yuvani, we actually didn’t go looking for him, we went in just for one reason, we trusted what Sarutha said, nothing else, on the contrary, we faced such a humiliation because we trusted Sarutha.”
He looked as Sova and said:
“What do I have to do with that guy Sova? Nothing. I don’t have anything with them, but you know, what sort of humiliation we went through that day. Words here spread around like fire Sova, earlier, people who even dare not look at us straight are now making fool of us Sova, you know what sort of comments they pass around, when we go that side. Every nerve is burning inside me Yuvani, I just want to thrash all those people. I can’t wait to get rid of them.”
Athiperunar said sarcastically:
“That is how it would be, that is how they will throw garbage at us. What we need to do is just to take it and rub it off. That is life.”
Mathurarayar replied:
“Nonsense.”
Saya, said:
“Why you guys are spoiling their mood, they didn’t come here to listen to our sad stories.”
Pahi interrupted:
“Sorry sir, we apologize for their unruly behavior, it’s just that these guys are so pissed off with Adhavan’s words and Killivalavan’s silence.”
Athiperunar said:
“Yes, we are inhuman. We are beasts. We don’t know anything else other than fucking. Right? That’s how they are making us feel sir.”
Mathurarayar joined him:
“Now, that is how these working class is looking at us Yuvani, all our hard earned respect and reputation has been spoilt overnight, just like that, they literally severed it away from us. It is a theft. What are we going to do about that, Yuvani? We need to do something. We really need to do something about it. Shouldn’t we?”
Athiperunar said:
“Simple, they took what is precious to us so we will take away what is precious to them.”
Pahi intervened;
“Come on guys, they are just kids, they are taking their first step into a social life, they will come into terms with it soon.”
Mathurarayar said harshly:
“They are not kids Pahi, No sane kid will use that word. Fine, leave me, what about Yuvani?”
Athiperunar commented:
“Then it is simple, he is either insane or we will make him go insane.”
They all remained silent for a moment.
Nedunenkilli was taken back by the wrath, raging across the group. He kept to himself.
Mathurarayar unable to contain his anger anymore, emptied his glass of wine and stormed out of the room angrily. Sova ran behind, trying to convince him. Before leaving the room, he turned back stylishly and said, “Either you kill him Yuvani or I will kill them both.”
Athiperunar raised his hand and said:
“I’m with you.”
Then Athiperunar turned to Yuvaninathan and talked to him in whispers.
Saya turned to Nedunenkilli and told him:
“See, this is the pain we go through daily, this is what I told you, please do something.”
Then she whispered very softly that only he can hear, but was overheard by his gorgeous, beautiful wife:
“It is not him, Its Adhavan. They are very angry about him. You kill him, I mean, if they don’t see his face anywhere in this land, they will forget him, all of it, they will leave Killivalavan, your family, and your tribe, untouched. Please do it as a help, please, I will always be grateful to you. See, I can’t let these guys out with such a bad temper, they will not only harm him, they will harm everyone who is being good to him. You can’t leave it to them. They are not good enough to handle such sensitive matters.”
Nedunenkilli raised his voice and said with an air of authority:
“Please leave this to me. Killivalavan is my brother and Adhavan is my father’s disciple, no one can better reach them than me. I will teach them a lesson, make them feel sad for what they did to you.”
Athiperunar’s gesture expressed obvious dissatisfaction.
Yuvaninathan said:
“I don’t think you understood the situation well. Let me explain. It is unbearable pain. It is stifling humiliation. It is our hard earned stand in the society and a great reputation that has been crushed outrageously by the youths trained by your father. How will you give it back to them? How? Can you make them feel how we felt? Can you take away what they took from us? Can you inflict the same pain that we suffered?”
Saya mollified Nedunenkilli:
“Please say yes. Please. I will take care of it.”
Nedunenkilli suddenly become a God, under the spell cast by Saya, he confidently said:
“I will make sure they suffer twice the agony you people have experienced. You can mark my words.”
Yuvaninathan raised his voice and appreciated him:
“Well said my man, well, you really talk like a man. I do appreciate it, but everything has time frame to it. When? How long?”
Saya replied for him:
“Just give us one full year Yuvani. It will be more than enough to transfer all the pain and humiliation onto them. In addition, we will push Adhavan to an extent that he will either commit suicide or go mad, run naked and go wild in the streets, like a lunatic. We will manipulate the people who adored him, we will turn them against him, make them spit on him, curse him, and stone him to death.”
Still Athiperunar objected:
“If you are not doing this in a year, you better leave the matter to me and Mathurarayar. We will take care of it from then.”
Nedunenkilli said,
“You should learn to trust us. I think we are agreed.”
Saya was so happy, she raised a toast to the occasion and marked that day in her calendar.
Exactly at the time, though his body was under the huge neem tree, guarded well by the divine goddess Makali, Macham penetrated Nedunenkilli’s mind, went through everything that was discussed and agreed. No sooner Macham entered his mind, Nedunenkilli started feeling uncomfortable with the group, so he thanked them for the day and left the group sooner than expected. Sun has set when they came out of the palace, throughout the way back home, he seemed to be restless. Macham literally took over his wife Prajitha and tried to convince him through her:
She said:
“You better have a word with Killi, before you proceed any further on this matter, for god’s sake, he is a grown up adult Nedu, you must discuss with him before you make any decision. We can’t believe these people. I seriously don’t understand why you are not willing to listen to their part of the story. Are you scared that they will be proved to be innocent and then you will lose your chance to prove that you are better than them? I am very serious about it Nedu.”
Nedunenkilli defended harshly:
“No! In my eyes, Mathurarayar, Athiperunar and Yuvaninathan are righteous. I don’t need a proof. I will gather them if I need a one and there isn’t anything there for us to discuss about it, either we take back our word, or allow them to act, else we act in accordance with them, without revealing that we are doing this for them. I have made my decision.”
She again raised her doubts:
“What about Adhavan Nedu, he is your father’s disciple, we don’t have any rights over him, you must have a word with your father, before you take any action on him.”
Nedunenkilli selectively objected:
“I tell you again, don’t bring my father into this, Adhavan is in my land, at my home, eating my mother's food. I will make sure he pays for all the ill reputation he has brought upon my mother and my father. And I warn you again, please don’t get involved in this, he will pay for it, I will make him pay for it. His pain will wash the stains laid on my family. Don’t again try to compromise on my family pride.”
There, beneath the neem tree Macham’s heart sank deep. Nedunenkilli has started to mask his evil doings with family pride and family sentiments. He was really worried with his dishonest approach, he thought for long moments, opened his eyes and called out for Adhavan, he came running to him. Macham looked into his eyes and asked:
“Are you strong enough?”
Though Adhavan didn’t understand the depth of the question, he blurted:
“Yes, I think, I am strong enough.”
Macham replied:
“Your Guru has decided to act through you. You will see lots of changes happening around, be focused, don’t lose faith, for you have been selected at a very young age to carry out his will. Just be yourself. The test of time will wither away as faith grows stronger, day by day. You will have the immense blessings of my guru.”
Then Macham sent off Adhavan, closed his eyes and spoke to Nedunenkilli through Prajitha:
“All right, just for a year. By then, if you have not achieved what you guys have proposed to achieve, you will wash your hands off this matter, forever, else I will go to your father, myself, directly.”
Nedunenkilli was deeply enraged by the reply, it was clearly visible in his face, it grew stern, lips were pulled in, eyes were restless, he looked like a devil in a neat disposition. He didn’t reply her back, he remained silent without answering her warning. The first step he took in his latest mission, caused the first rift in the sweet relationship with his wife Prajitha. They remained silent throughout the return journey. The silence was painful. It did hurt both.
There at the private study, Pahi was yelling:
“We made it. Wow! Incredible! We made it Athu. We made it. We made those guys believe us.”
Saya hugged her and shouted:
“We will kill them all through their own blood.”
Yuvaninathan was not excited, rather he asked them both:
“Now. What is the plan? How are you going to do this? Will it happen the way we expect it to happen?”
Pahi requested:
“Please Yuvani, leave this to women, we have our own knack of doing things, we have our own ways, we know how to make men cry?”
Saya winked at Athiperunar and said:
“Don’t we?”
Athiperunar said:
“I like it, please do it, uh.”
Mathurarayar said:
“I won’t believe that until it happens Pahi. I will wait for one whole year. If you don’t make it by then, then he is all ours.”
Sova looked at Yuvaninathan and said:
“Wait and see what women can do. You will all enjoy it. Have fun. As to successfully start this project, please take all of us to laughing hills for the next full moon day celebrations, you see, what all happens from then.”
As they were enjoying the first initial moments of great triumph, one of Yuvaninathan’s man came running in, whispered in his ear:
“Master, one of your ships have been caught in the storm and all goods have been lost.”
(To be continued...)
Written on Dates: 09/11-09/15
Chapter 02 The First Glimpse of the Third Eye
Chapter 03 The Complete Surrender
Chapter 04 The Sacredness of the Divine Incarnation
Chapter 05 The Veneration of a Guru
Chapter 06 The Immortality
Chapter 07 The Art of Dying
Chapter 08 The Good Cause
Chapter 09 The First Dissemination
Chapter 10 The One behind the Spiritual Transformation
Chapter 11 The Smothering of the Class Distinctions
Chapter 11 The Smothering of the Class Distinctions
Chapter 12 The Insight of the Divine Lamp
Chapter 13 The Great Four
Chapter 13 The Great Four
Chapter 14 The Final Samadhi
Chapter 15 The Blossoming Love
Chapter 16 The Divine Intervention
Chapter 17 The Second Dissemination
Chapter 15 The Blossoming Love
Chapter 16 The Divine Intervention
Chapter 17 The Second Dissemination
Chapter 18 The Fusion and Beyond
Chapter 19 The Rise of an Internal Conflict
Chapter 20 The Realization of the Self
Chapter 21 The Way of the Siddhars
Chapter 19 The Rise of an Internal Conflict
Chapter 20 The Realization of the Self
Chapter 21 The Way of the Siddhars
No comments:
Post a Comment